Depression

[let_go_let_God]

Immaculata-

I've been there. I know pretty much what you are going through.

In high school, I was expected to do well, get high grades, be perfect, be able to do what was asked of me and when it was all done, no one seemed to notice me. My parents didn't help in the fact that if I didn't do as well as they would have liked, they pulled me out of my activities and grounded me.

Pulling yourself out of depression isn't an easy thing to do by any means, and in my opinion and through my experiences I suggest that you find some very close friends that you go to school with and talk with them as well.

That's all that I can say for now, I guess one other thing that helped me is to remember, that you aren't alone. I think that can be shown by all the people who posted here. Take care and I'm praying for you. God bless and keep you always Immaculata,


--LGLG--

[Sinner]

Depression ......... an inevitable fate of human experience. Most often my own choice. Sometimes, it goes on too long; and an actual chemical imbalance happens... then it is OK to use prescribed medication. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Yes, get help. Swallow the pride and see a therapist. Ask a trusted Catholic to give you a good referral (maybe your Priest). Most Saints went through Hell before getting to Heaven.... you are probably no exception. Pray....of course; God brings us to our knees to make us more dependent on Him. As usual, admitting you have a problem and are powerless to correct it is the first step to recovery...so you are well on your way. Praying for you..........

[prov31girl]

I know exactly how you feel girl!! Especially about the being fake part. I feel like that all the time, and I hate it. But let me tell you the same thing my best friend told me:

"No matter how hard things seem to get, God will always, always be there for you. It may seem hard to find Him at times, but those are the times that He is closest to you. God loves you so much and He rejoices with you as you continue to take a step toward Him each day in your spiritual journey. God created you in His image and stands by you everyday, fighting off the lies of the enemy that try to convince you that you're worthless. You are beautiful!!"

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26


We're all here for ya girl!! :group: :wub:

[HomeTeamFamily]

ive never been really good at giving advice when people stuggle with stuff like this but i will pray

[BurkeFan]

Depression is an insidious disease. The grey is suffocating... you drown in the despair... trapped within yourself, unable to percieve anything correctly.
Anti-depressants are not a sign of weakness, nor are they the easy way out. As one who has been on them, I can tell you that even with them, it's not a walk in the park, but they can help. Depression very often has a physical, neurological component. That is why I call it a disease, because I sincerely think that that is what it is. I would at least be open to the possibility. They can make a difference, but not by making you unnaturally happy, but by allowing you to be happy.
Other than that, please, try to refrain from cutting yourself. One of my best friends did that and it became an addiction for her.
Last bit of advice is just to try to offer it up. I know how incredibly hard it is to continue when all is dark, but there will come a dawn. Just try to hang on.
In Christ,
Dave

[Ash Wednesday]

Immaculata, I have BIG HUGS for you.

I would definitely recommend seeing a therapist. From my experience, I always made a point of seeing therapists who were 1.) female and 2.) Catholic. But in the end we really didn't address religion in a major way. I guess it was mostly ME, I felt more comfortable opening up to someone if I knew that they were female like me, and also Catholic. Maybe it was about having a similar background and starting point. But really, we really didn't talk about faith that much, mostly it was focused on thinking, your relationships with others, ways to deal with other people. It has all been very practical.

But any good therapist would respect your faith. Oftentimes it's also good to see a therapist and a priest at the same time if need be. One for general counseling to work through issues -- practical things like your thinking patterns, cognitive behavior, and ways to deal with people, and the priest for the spiritual aspect of what you're dealing with. Oftentimes a parish has certain counselors that they will recommend, and won't recommend someone to strange fruity ones.

While I agree with people who are alarmed at how much "Freud's chair" has replaced the confessional, counseling and psychotherapy really DOES have an important place, and oftentimes your priest has references to people that they trust.

After my mom died I decided to see a counselor because I was having a lot of anxiety and panic attacks, for obvious reasons. I've also managed depression for at least 10 years (since I graduated high school) but it really doesn't debilitate me like it used to, because I've learned ways to manage it and keep it from growing like a weed. I still deal with grief from my loss this year, but there is a difference between grief and symptoms of depression. Grief CAN lead to depression, but I for one can tell there IS a difference.

I have had a similar problem, where I have been, and still am, very perfectionistic. I'm an overachiever, and I always have to resist the urge to try to "fix" things and make everything all right. Like my brother told me last year, after I had a meltdown shortly before my mom's funeral (because I had been taking care of practically everything), "you aren't a superhero!" (And the other night my aunt said "LOOK, it's not your SOLE JOB to save the WHOLE WORLD!")

In counseling (on and off over the years. I didn't go all the time, just when I've been having rough spots in life) I've realized what makes me do the things I do, some of my bad thinking and cognitive behavior habits, and how to correct them. It's all very practical and has even helped my relationship with God. We have to open up to God, he knows every part of us, the "good" us, and the "bad" us. When we open up to him completely, it is only then that we heal and truly let our "cup overfloweth" and live the Gospel.

Nowdays my biggest thing is that I catastrophize and I worry. I gnaw on some worry like a doggie gnaws his bone. Right now I'm talking to a counselor to deal with grief and loss and the anxiety it generates.

I also say this with caution, because I think a lot of people go on antidepressants, but I don't think they really need them as much as they need to address their problems, but if there is something biological going on, like if there is a history of depression or bipolar illness in the family, you MIGHT want to consider it. I've been on an antidepressant for a long time because a lot of mine has biological influence because I am hypothyroid. Hypothyroidism can trigger depression, so that's also something to be aware of.

Take care. :heart:

[homeschoolmom]

You have my prayers, Immaculata!

[Ash Wednesday]

[quote name='BurkeFan' date='Jun 25 2004, 11:00 PM'] possibility. They can make a difference, but not by making you unnaturally happy, but by allowing you to be happy.
[/quote]
Yes, a similar phrase I have heard is, "antidepressants don't solve problems, but they can help you deal with them."

Also, self-help books can be helpful, but I really think it takes an extended period of time, in direct contact with another person, to get constant "checkups" and to keep the patterns going.

A light bulb just went on over my head and made me realize another reason why people recommend frequent confession, too.

[Dave]

Immaculata, hon, as I'm sure I've told you, I've definitely been there, done that. I suffer from chronic depression, and I have to take meds for it and get professional help. Doing such things is NOT a sign of weakness.

One thing I do a lot and yet shouldn't do is compare myself to others. As a result, I'm always feeling inadequate and inferior to them, not to mention resentful. I hate to say this, but I actually feel or have felt this way about ALL my friends and acquaintances, both past and present. And I beat myself up. And boy do I know about being codependent! When my depression was at its worst, I was spending a lot of time with a couple of "close friends" who really treated me horribly, and yet I felt like I was nothing without them. Praise God I finally reached the point where I saw what jerks they truly were! And when I dropped them, what a relief it was!

As you can imagine, I have a long way to go. But you know I'll pray for you. And please do the same for me too, could ya?

[BeenaBobba]

Hi Immaculata,

I know how you feel. I, too, suffer from really bad anxiety and depression. Reading what you wrote reminded me of how I was at your age. My depression started when I was around 14-years-old. I was in honors classes, and I put tons of pressure on myself to do well. Eventually, I broke down. To make matters worse, I fell head over heels in love with a boy when I was 14, and we broke up when I was 16. I was devastated, and it only made matters worse. I continued to pine over him until I was 18, and that's when he and I started dating again. Shortly after, he told me something that broke my heart. I won't get into it on here, but let's just say that it was a huge shocker. For the past few years, I had been able to keep my head just above the water, but this incident nearly broke me. I had a nervous breakdown of sorts and was sick for two years. Only now am I recovering, and I've still got quite a ways to go. (For the record, all hopes of dating him were smashed when he told me what he did.) I was so ill I never left the house; I was constantly nauseous, and I barely ate and had to be hospitalized.

Do not be ashamed to seek professional help. I used to be in denial, and I was so ashamed to tell people about my problems. In the end, I was only hurting myself in not getting the help that I needed. Cutting yourself and thinking about suicide is [b]very[/b] dangerous (and sinful, too). I have had problems with cutting in the past, and it's such self-destructive behavior. People in emotional pain tend not to see through it at the time, and people do dumb things when blinded by pain. For these reasons, it's so important that you get help as soon as possible.

I'm on Zoloft, and it's made me a bit better than I was before. Counselling will help, too. Like Ash said, try to find a counsellor who is a good Catholic woman (or who is Christian, at least). Be sure to stay very close to God. He will help you through this, but it's so important that you put all your trust in Him. Visit the Sacrament of Confession often. You will always find healing there. Take care of yourself physically, i.e., eat well, get enough sleep, exercise, etc. Depression might be something you'll struggle with your entire life (as seems to be the case with me), but if you do these things, I think you'll find yourself feeling better to some degree or another. Last but not least, offer up your sufferings to Our Lord for the conversions of sinners. This is your cross.

I will say a prayer for you. Feel free to talk to me about how you feel whenever you'd like. Honestly, I can relate. If you feel suicidal at any time, or if you feel like you want to hurt yourself (by cutting or whatnot), please tell your mom or dad and go to the hospital right away.

God bless,

Jen

[Ash Wednesday]

I'll add one more thing with regards to depression and faith. When there is the onset of depression, man you don't know WHAT the heck is going on. Part of you feels like you are going crazy. Before I hit my first wall at 18, I thought I had God, and a good faith, all figured out.

Then it was like everything was turned upside down. I was stuck in this mental wasteland of hopelessness and worthlessness. It was perhaps the most horrible thing I ever encountered. I fluctuated from not knowing what to believe in, if anything, to having this apologetic-I'm-sorry-I-exist, martyr-like existence, and the brand of faith that I was practicing was kind of a "sugar coated" Catholic faith. I was doing the works but it was more out of servial, literally, being afraid of God. I really had to come to a simpler, earthier faith, get down in the dirt, and really get to know a personal God -- someone that really LOVED me, and wasn't just some ivory statue in the sky. Someone that wanted me to stop being such a nervous Martha all the time, trying to be the hostess and make sure everything was "just right" and be the Mary, taking time to be sitting at Jesus' feet and soaking it all in.

A friend explained it as a time of being "pruned" and ironically, this time that is what is called the "Dark Night of the Soul" is a time where faith is maturing into something much deeper. St. John of the Cross talks about it in his famous writings. One minute we are a whistling dixie, and the next, God suspends everything and all is disoriented. But in the end you come out stronger in more ways than one. Depression can be a gift in that it is there to remind us when something is wrong -- somewhere along the way we are not taking care of ourselves. It's hard to give love if you are full of self-hatred.

Faith will always wax and wane. I think a lot of the greatest saints dealt with depression before anyone knew what it was or diagnosed it as such. Maybe then it was "melancholy" or the "Dark Night." But the crosses that saints like these beared became gifts, and points of purification for them, and in a way we are sharing in the suffering of Christ when we offer this up for others. This gives purpose to it, and makes it easier to bear. I also think of our Blessed Mother, I come under her protective mantle a lot. I think of the times she "pondered things in her heart" and had her own heart pierced with a sword, and I believe she understands the pains of the heart and true suffering. Remember, most of all -- the cross will never be so much an ounce, molecule, or feather's weight more than what we can handle.

[Tony]

you are in my prayers immaculatta May St. Dymphna pray for you too

[immaculata]

Wow. I can't believe it. I had no clue this many people understood what I'm going through! Let me eat breakfast, and then I'll come back and re-read all of your marvelous posts! :wub:

In Mary's heart,
Katrina

[voiciblanche]

[quote name='immaculata' date='Jun 25 2004, 10:08 PM'] does anyone ever feel really really fake? Like, I look at myself sometimes, and I look like such a great Catholic and star student and perfect child on the outside, but I know that inside I'm all messed up and angry and hateful... [/quote]
Definitely. Not very good for boosting confidence, is it? -_-

[theculturewarrior]

~50% of americans will experience some form of emotional or mental "illness," sometime in their lives. Most of us don't like to think of the blues as mental illness, but if they last a long time, then that's what doctors classify it as.

Most of that 50% suffer from anxiety and/or depression.

The good news, is that mental illnesses are among the most treatable diseases. Mental illness (I believe this is in general) are 60% to 80% treatable, and have a higher recovery rate than heart disease or cancer.

I do not recommend that you think of yourself as "mentally ill," unless you understand that within the context of 1 out of every 2 americans will experience mental illness. I do recommend that you see a therapist. Therapists tend to be liberal, but the vast majority recognize the therapeutic value of faith in recovering from "mental illness." (In other words, in crossing from one half of americans to the other.) Talking to a therapist can really help. It all depends on your outlook, but they can lead you in the right direction, especially if you're there because you want to be.

Another thing...Don't underestimate the power of prayer. I know St. Dymphna has prayed miracles for me, and I know many advances in understanding the human mind have come through her intercession.

PM me if you want to know more.

God bless you!

:hearts: