Introvert in a Convent

[Nunsuch]

As with all things, it depends on the community. I would ask.

[JHFamily]

I knew a young lady that was so introverted that even after her novice year, she was still shy in a small novitiate.  She did everything she was asked to do and was happy.  She never relaxed around the sisters, though, and did not participate in the recreations unless asked a direct question.  They ended up sending her home because she could not form a sisterly bond with the community.  Now, does that mean I'm saying that you are not called to the cloister?  No.  However, to prevent something like this from happening, I agree with TheresaThoma that it would be a good idea to learn some tools to help you relax in a group setting.  

I think it is a fallacy that introverts were the ones made for cloisters.  Extroverts seem to do better.  There is no doubt, however, that God calls who He calls, and He doesn't pay mind to personality types.

[Maryla]

I'm and introvert and psychologist (with PhD in psychology of religion and spirituality). I have also experience in discerning religious call and living in convent for over one year.
There is often misunderstanding about this who is introvert. Introvert is person who gaining energy and loading battery while is alone. Extrovert loading batter while is with people. 
Being shy or insecure is something different. This mean having low self esteem. You should work with your spiritual director to be less shy and less insecure. 
To answer your question I think that convent is for all types of personalities and both, introvert and extrovert can find a good place in the monastery.
Both introverts and extroverts can find blessing and challenges in the convent. Monastery is like a big family with crowd of people what can be blessing for extroverts and challenge for introverts. Quiet prayer or reading in your monastic cell can be blessing for introverts and challenge for extroverts.
In my monastery I asked for more sabbatical, quiet days and I get permission for this. It was like vacations for me. 

However challenges are good for learning and growth. We are learning overcoming our limitations, being more open to others and thinking about needs of other sisters, not only about our own comfort. This is why we are in way to holiness in the monastery.

God bless you!
 

Edited March 2, 2020 by Maryla

[OneHeart]

I'm curious about this topic too.  I'm an introvert (INFP/INTP split).  I'm wondering if this makes me more fit for an eremitic style of living?  I do my best work alone, in quiet, and am invigorated by it.  I am fed in my alone-time with the Lord.  

Thoughts?

[UndividedlyHis]

I think the answer to this very strongly depends on what exactly is meant by the word introvert. If it’s simply someone who tends to draw their strength from solitude, enjoys alone time and feels slightly awkward around strangers, it’s one thing. If it’s someone who could be described as “antisocial”, who cannot build meaningful connections or interact in a healthy way with others, that would be an issue I think. I myself consider myself an introvert and I am discerning with a cloistered contemplative order. I have had a live-in with the sisters already and felt very peaceful, very comfortable and connected. Any order is a spiritual family and if you can thrive in religious life, even monastic, depends not only on your relationship with God but on the ability to form healthy bonds within that family, otherwise it destroys the unity. I think it’s also important to consider if it’s just a general introvert trait that is easily manageable or an unhealthy fear and shame around people. If it’s the latter it probably stems from trauma that needs to be addressed and healed before any more steps in discernment are taken. Just my two cents 

[gloriana35]

I'm no psychologist, and I've never been in a cloistered Order, but I did have a thought (to add to the excellent comments others made on this thread.) I've known many priests, for whom I have high regard, but who might jump to conclusions based on their own ways and experiences. If this priest is a long-time spiritual director of yours, there may be some weight to what he says. However, feeling uncomfortable when first being with a community (regardless of one's personality) is quite normal. Your initial unease would not necessarily mean you weren't suitable. If you feel a calling to this community, you might want to spend more time with them, before deciding that being there is impossible. If you have questions, ask.

Many communities no longer have scheduled recreation time together, and, in many cases, I think that is a relief! However, communities that did have recreation (especially in the cloister, where there was much observance of silence) required everyone participate as a group. Even in the active community that I entered (where we did not observe silence to the extent that the cloistered did), no one could choose to read, draw, go for a walk alone, play Scrabble with another Sister who liked word games - everyone had to be together, doing the same thing. (In my convent, it could be ridiculous - adults in formation had to play games that a child of ten would have outgrown.) You'd had to ask, but I'm inclined to doubt that, if community recreation is scheduled, you could use that as time for yourself