Slipping

[OnlySunshine]

Please say some prayers for me.  Right now, I'm slipping into previous bad habits and don't like the way I feel.  My CBT therapist told me last week that she thinks I have OCD but cannot provide a diagnosis since she is not a doctor.  I see my new psychiatrist on July 28th, unless I can get in there sooner (long waiting list), and she asked me to discuss it with her to see about getting on medication that will treat OCD better than my current antidepressant and anti-anxiety meds.  I'm really worried what's going to happen in the next month or two if I don't get better, starting with losing my job.  My performance has really been poor and my absenteeism is really high.  Granted, I do have FMLA for anxiety/depression, but my employer hired me when I was doing really well and there has been a marked change.  Yesterday, for example, I was late to work because I fell asleep without setting my alarm clock and I lied about the reason - I said that the power went out the night before.  That's a recurrent theme from my past, before I came back to the Church 10 years ago.  I'm worried that, because of my health problems and absenteeism, I will probably not be eligible for a raise in this yearly evaluation this month.  My mom has brought up her concerns and I really want to work hard to correct them before they get out of control.  I'm also going to discuss with the psychiatrist the possibility of worsening ADD or personality disorder because my interests change if my emotions are unstable.

Due to these issues, I have withdrawn from CatholicMatch (the guy I was talking to hasn't talked in over a week so I'm losing interest) in order to focus on my personal needs.  I'm going back to school in August to take Human A&P I and I really need to get better by then so I can do my best and make good grades in preparation for nursing school.

Edited July 1, 2017 by OnlySunshine