Family Opposition

[kg94]

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, 

As a number of you know, this is a topic well discussed by many discerners, who, like me, face family opposition to their vocation. I've posted several times on this forum for a while, but I've actually been discerning since I was around 14 or 15, and formally since the age of 18. I'm under no false impressions of the reality of Religious Life after having been on several live-ins, worked with Religious, and was even a Candidate in a congregation back in 2013-2014. 

However, I think I've now found where God wants me to be. One particular congregation kept crossing my mind, and somehow, I kept being led back to them over the years. Even while I was in other congregations, visiting, on live-ins, even the one I was a Candidate with, I missed the prayer life of this particular congregation. I used to pray with them everyday, before and after work, as well as join their oblates on retreats and study days, and work alongside them in their apostolate/ministries. I should mention that I didn't just "miss" the prayer life, somehow I resonated with it, and it is what "spoke" to me this entire time. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's much more than any emotional feeling etc. There was definitely something more to it than that. 

The only thing is, my parents were opposed to my discernment. When I was 19, they wrote to my confessor saying I was a vulnerable young girl who should finish her education and when I'm over 21, then I can make more mature decisions and "plan properly" for my life. The desire to give my life wholly to our Beloved Lord in the Religious Life has never left me. Nor has the thought, or the fact every time I tried to do other things, even dated a young man for over a year (until he turned around and told me that he thinks God might be calling him to the priesthood!) I ended up back on the path of discernment, without doing anything. Then, I realised my heart wasn't settling on anything I do...and I always had a sense of God having planned something more for me. I did everything I said I wanted to do, but there's still an emptiness, a longing to serve more "fully" (and I don't really know how to describe it in words, because it won't be justified if I do).

Anyhow, I have been asked to go overseas to visit the community and stay with them to discern further. My parents don't believe I'm serious about my discernment and my mother keeps threatening me with a matchmaker, saying young people talk a lot of rubbish and don't know what they really want. By right, I have the funds and I'm going to be 23 this year. I could go over during my holidays. However, the sisters have advised me that it's better to get my parents' "permission" because they would rather I didn't cause a stir in the family. 

Other than that, all is going well. I'm very active in the music ministry in my parish and will be cantoring and playing the piano/organ for the Triduum Masses (not at the same time, different things for each Mass!)... I'm also an undergraduate student, and I'm doing very well at university, so please keep me in prayer. The Lord has always been faithful to me, so I hope and pray that He helps me work out a solution for this, but I'd greatly appreciate your prayers for this intention, and if you wish, your advice too. 

God bless you all this Holy Week, and may you have a joyful Eastertide in the Risen Christ (since that will be this weekend).

May Mama Mary keep you under the mantle of her love, and may our Beloved Lord continue to watch over you all and keep you close to His heart.

In Christo, 

Kim-Thérèse

Edited April 13, 2017 by kg94

[nikita92]

There comes a time when a adult daughter/son needs to cut the umbilical cord from their parents! 

You are not getting any younger...(that is a biological fact) and life starts getting shorter as one ages! 

Do what makes YOU happy! After all, this is YOUR life, not your parents! 

Even though the Sisters would like you to have your parents "Permission", I have a feeling, that is not going to happen. Soo...what to do?

From my perspective, you have 3 choices.

A- Do what your parents want, and go with a "marriage" vocation (which near as I could tell..YOUR true heart is not really rolling along with that aspect)

B- Do what the Sisters suggested (and try and keep the family peace; my words, not theirs) by soliciting for getting your parents "permission".

C- Just go for it! Discern that "religious" vocation!

And...Pray Pray Pray in asking God to help show you the way!   0:-)  

Not your will, but His will be done!

 

[Jennifer]

Many prayers for you at this time.I hope that it all works out well for you kg94

[TheresaThoma]

I will pray for you and your parents. It can be really hard to find that balance. Do you still have a confessor or spiritual director? What does he think about the situation? 

Family issues are so hard. It may help them is you give them just what they need to know. For example tell them that this opportunity came up for you to spend some time with this community overseas during a school break. And you are interested in the community. Don't mention right off hand that you think this is where God is calling you and you would possibly want to enter there. Let them get used to the idea of you spending time with the community first. Then gradually over time share a bit more. It will probably go over a bit better that way.