What do couples do "together" who have children?

[havok579257]

So me and my wife were talking last night that we really never spend time together because right now we have four kids under seven.  Obviously its not easy to get as much alone time when were marrried without kids.  So I just wanted to get some ideas what couples with kids do to spend time together on a daily or weekly basis.  I know when ever I here people talk they always mention date night one a week or every few weeks.  I am more looking for what couples do one a daily basis to spend time together.  Cause ovbiously you can't go out every night if you have kids.  Right now my wife and I pretty much watch 2 tv shows together so I wanted to see what other couples do together on a daily basis when they have alone time.

[Anomaly]

At least once per week spend at least one hour together without the TV or kids.  No agenda, just to talk about non-stressful things.  No talk of kids, money, health, work, chores, religion, school, news, family, etc.  NO cuddles, kisses, sex, etc.

you could play cards, a simple game, or just gaze at the yard and think of non stressing things to talk about.  One hour a week for couple time to chat only will be huge stress reliever and be amazing.  You will find all kinds of good things to comment on, dream about, laugh about, and reconnect to the best of each other.  You'll find it easier to communicate and deal with life's stresses at other times during the week by zealously observing the one hour of peaceful, stress free together time. 

At least that is my theory.  It appears to have mostly worked so far, attempting that plan through two kids and over thirty five years of life in a relationship. 

[little2add]

The Family That Prays Together Stays Together

[dUSt]

I understand your situation completely, as my wife and I also have 4 kids.

I found the best strategy is to look forward to when the kids are all old enough to move out of the house, and until then, just try to sneak out of the house alone and leave them home with the wife as much as possible...

[thejorge]

"The Family That Prays Together Stays Together" good

[havok579257]

9 hours ago, little2add said:

The Family That Prays Together Stays Together

although  a great point its kind of not what I am talking about.

[Makarioi]

Do you have a trusted family member or friend nearby that you can leave the children with for a few hours?  Does your gang take naps?  My grands do and they're about the same age.  If you can't find time in the evening, how about taking  a day off from work to do something while the children are in school? 

[havok579257]

1 hour ago, Makarioi said:

Do you have a trusted family member or friend nearby that you can leave the children with for a few hours?  Does your gang take naps?  My grands do and they're about the same age.  If you can't find time in the evening, how about taking  a day off from work to do something while the children are in school? 

my parents have their hands full watching other grnadchildren while my brother works.  so they are out of the question.  they are watching 3 kids full time 5 days a week and they are not getting any younger.  my wifes parents don't work because they get overwhelmed with 4 kids.  so they are out of the question unless its a rare occassion.

 

also right now only one of my kids is in school full days.  one goes to half day preschool and the other two are not in school with one of them being a year old.  so no matter what 2 kids are at home at all times and except for a few hours all three kids are at home.  my kids take naps on the weekend but so does my wife.  she is worn out from her job by the weekend (school teacher who has to deal with 5-6 year old kids) that when they nap so does she.  if not, she's not making in the next week.

 

it comes down to sunday through thrusday we have like and hour to an hour and a half of time without the kids before she needs to be in bed because she is up so early.  although after the kids go to bed we still have to get stuff ready for tomorrow, with my wife being a teacher she always has something to do at home for tomorrow's lessons and just the night time routine that every person has.  

 

so i am trying to find some ideas on a daily basis what couples do who have little kids when they finally get alone time with each other.  obviously its not a lot of alone time.

[Anomaly]

If you can't change your circumstances, change your attitude.    An hour of quality time with each other is very valuable at this stage in your life and circumstances make the opportunities limited for you.   One hour a week is probably only the beginning, but you have to learn to make it high quality time spent with just your love.  

Its the start.  You both need a loving and in-touch spouse, your kids need livung, attentive parents.  Think of it refueling your car and then driving all week on the tank of gas.  One hour with your wife, as little stress and distraction as possible, to tune in, tune up, and fuel up.   It's a long trip, strive let it be enjoyable when you can. 

[little2add]

Just holding hands for a few  minutes  it's good for the soul.   Don't even need to talk,  if you don't feel like it    

 It always made us happy and forget about life ( daily struggles) for a while .   

 The best thing is it won't break the budget 

Edited March 31, 2017 by little2add

[Makarioi]

Teaching isn't easy.  It's more than an 8 hour job!  I hear you there! Perhaps if the children are playing by themselves, take advantage and just sit by yourselves for a few moments in another room.  It may be the only option at the moment.  Maybe your wife's parents can offer you a special occasion for a few hours here and there.  My daughter /son in law doesn't trust anyone but family to watch my grands and these days, I don't blame them. Enjoy your time with them, time flies and in the blink of an eye, they'll be grown.  You'll look back and wonder how you did it!