PASSIONISTS KY

[das8949]

I WAS JUST ON THEIR WEBSITE AND BLOG AND SAW NO MENTION OR PICTURES OF SISTER ROSE MARIE. iS SHE AWAY AT A CONFERENCE OR DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT HER STATUS IS.  THANKS IN ADVANCE. MAYBE THIS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS I SHOULD NOT ASK ABOUT.

[kg94]

Why don't you call up the Sisters and ask for her? I'm sure they will tell you something? I believe this is their phone number: +1 270-233-4571. 

Kim-Thérèse

[DameAgnes]

I would NOT suggest calling up to ask, especially since she's right there!

Take another look. She's in the pictures of the celebration of Mother John Mary's feastday. She's wearing glasses now. Also consider NOT typing all in caps, b/c it makes you look hysterical. 

[Sister Leticia]

You meet a girl at a couple of events, you chat and get along, you become Facebook friends. Thanks to her posts you have a general idea of what's she's up to, how she is etc - but although she sometimes shares about her Faith she's not the sort of person who tells the Facebook world absolutely everything. She blogs intermittently, but again, though she shares reflections, she holds back from sharing stuff about her family and friends, and only talks generally about any disappointments or upheavals. Sometimes you chat via Facebook - general stuff, nothing too personal. One day you notice her boyfriend isn't in the last few photos she's posted. You check back - she hasn't mentioned him recently, and hasn't said he's going away. There are no clues in her blog.

Do you:

A. PM her to find out if she and her boyfriend have split up (or better still, phone her - you've got her number somewhere)

B. Wait and see - maybe it's a temporary split, maybe he has just gone away. If necessary, for example if you realise you're likely to meet at another event, you can always discreetly ask a mutual friend.

C. Decide it's none of your business - after all, she's not a close friend. Make a mental note not to ask after him if you're chatting.

 

If you opted for B or C for this young woman, on the grounds of sensitivity and respecting her privacy, then please opt for B or C when it comes to news/speculation about religious communities. We are not public property. And even though many communities have a strong online presence, with Facebook pages, blogs, websites and so on, there may be some members who simply hate being photographed, or who don't want the whole world to know that they're having medical treatment or had a migraine during a jubilee, or needed a break elsewhere due to exhaustion or are having a vocational crisis or whatever. They have a right to their privacy, just like anyone else.

[beatitude]

29 minutes ago, Sister Leticia said:

If you opted for B or C for this young woman, on the grounds of sensitivity and respecting her privacy, then please opt for B or C when it comes to news/speculation about religious communities. We are not public property.

This is an important reminder. I think sometimes we misinterpret the public witness provided by nuns to mean that the sisters are always available and must be ready to answer any questions we ask. I know I've been guilty of that before now.

On 2/20/2017 at 2:03 PM, kg94 said:

Why don't you call up the Sisters and ask for her? I'm sure they will tell you something?

While cloistered nuns do us a great service by praying for us, we also owe them a service - to respect the enclosure that makes their prayer possible. There is a Carmel in my hometown and as a young child I was taught to walk past it as quietly as possible, so as not to disturb the sisters. The idea of ringing up a monastery to ask for a sister who may or may not be there any more seems very awkward and intrusive given that cloistered nuns usually have limits on how often they phone their own families and close friends, to protect their intense life of prayer before the Lord. I can't see them being too delighted to receive phone calls from everyone who notices an absent face from their newsletter/blog and who wants to check up on Sister So-and-so. They'd never be off the phone in that case.

[DameAgnes]

I'm pretty sure that if someone rang up a monastery to ask why a nun is not showing up in their pics they'd wonder if a stalker was calling and also reconsider putting their community online at all. And of course, all of this is moot since Sr. Rose Marie is in the pictures!

[kg94]

I wasn't suggesting ringing up and asking such questions. I meant to say just to ring and ask if she's there, and then maybe write to her directly if you want to keep in touch. I know the nuns there, which is why I said that. Anyhow, I leave it to your own discretion to make a suitable decision. 

[Spem in alium]

On Wednesday, February 22, 2017 at 2:06 AM, Sister Leticia said:

You meet a girl at a couple of events, you chat and get along, you become Facebook friends. Thanks to her posts you have a general idea of what's she's up to, how she is etc - but although she sometimes shares about her Faith she's not the sort of person who tells the Facebook world absolutely everything. She blogs intermittently, but again, though she shares reflections, she holds back from sharing stuff about her family and friends, and only talks generally about any disappointments or upheavals. Sometimes you chat via Facebook - general stuff, nothing too personal. One day you notice her boyfriend isn't in the last few photos she's posted. You check back - she hasn't mentioned him recently, and hasn't said he's going away. There are no clues in her blog.

Do you:

A. PM her to find out if she and her boyfriend have split up (or better still, phone her - you've got her number somewhere)

B. Wait and see - maybe it's a temporary split, maybe he has just gone away. If necessary, for example if you realise you're likely to meet at another event, you can always discreetly ask a mutual friend.

C. Decide it's none of your business - after all, she's not a close friend. Make a mental note not to ask after him if you're chatting.

 

If you opted for B or C for this young woman, on the grounds of sensitivity and respecting her privacy, then please opt for B or C when it comes to news/speculation about religious communities. We are not public property. And even though many communities have a strong online presence, with Facebook pages, blogs, websites and so on, there may be some members who simply hate being photographed, or who don't want the whole world to know that they're having medical treatment or had a migraine during a jubilee, or needed a break elsewhere due to exhaustion or are having a vocational crisis or whatever. They have a right to their privacy, just like anyone else.

Thank you! We have a Facebook page, which I maintain, and have experienced this at times -- people asking "Where is Sr X/Y/Z?" She's OK and still here, just not in the photos because she wasn't present at the event. Or sometimes a photo is unflattering so I don't share it. When one of our sisters died recently we didn't share her photo on our page (keeping with what we thought would be her wishes) and she had a VERY simple funeral -- and I know people were asking "Why not this? Why not that?" I've learned a lot while maintaining our social media and the most important is: having a good reason for sharing something with others, and trying to protect our Sisters' privacy. It's nice that people do want to see us, and we work to live for everyone, but just like everyone else we do have our privacy and our own needs and that needs to be respected - on social media and in day-to-day life. 

 

[Feankie]

If you go to their new blog post,Mother has said that she discerned out a few weeks ago.  Question answered, case closed.  Please pray for her and the Sisters.

[das8949]

Monastery Update

My dear blog friends, I want to share with you the following monastery news:

Official church documents on religious formation emphasize the need for a lengthy and adequate discernment before a candidate is admitted to perpetual vows. The Church gives 9 – 12 years for this discernment before perpetual vows.  The discernment is always done with much prayer and guidance.

Several weeks ago we said goodbye to Sr. Rose Marie as she returned to lay life. The fruits of the Holy Spirit were very evident as God’s plan for her life came into clearer focus. We all miss her and her wonderful family so much. Please keep her in prayer as she continues to follow God’s will seeking to implement all she received here and to be a nurturing presence of God in the world.

May we all seek to find, follow and fulfill his loving plan with such courage as she is now doing.  We love you dear sister in Christ Crucified!

Mother John Mary

 

 

[orapronobis]

I think this is a perfect example of why people shouldn't phone sisters in situations like this. I've had friends who discerned out and I know that they really needed the privacy to leave the convent with no publicity. If you had rang the sisters and they hadn't felt comfortable divulging where Sr. Rose Marie was, it would have placed both you and them in a very awkward situation.

[krissylou]

We've all seen the Whitesville Passionist and Summit Dominican novitiates swell over the last several years.  I've often wondered how many people get introduced to monastic life through the Whitesville Passionist or Summit Dominican blogs -- and then enter somewhere else.  I'm guessing it's more than a few.  Living in a monastic fishbowl like that is unusual, but I think it probably is their special vocation.

One of the downsides of this is that when there are lots of internet fans cheering on new entrances and milestones, it's also quite public when a sister leaves.  And a lot of us have heard horror stories of secrecy and shame (different from privacy and tact) surrounding people leaving.  These folks are in a situation where they pretty much have to say something.

And I think that's one more gift these communities give through their internet ministry -- showing how to leave well.  Sometimes someone is in and out of postulancy relatively quickly.  Other times, like this one, she's been in temporary vows for some time.  Other times it's in between.  But there are reasons that nobody makes their final vows when they walk in the door.  Sometimes discernment leads people in different directions and that's what these preparatory periods are for.

And such transitions can be hard and sad for everyone, but it's good to see communities in the public eye showing how to handle such departures well.

 

[nikita92]

Personally, I had been in contact with a young first year professed sister in a well publicized contemplative monastery! 

Come what would have been her 2nd  profession anniversary date...I had sent her a profession gift (that I had commissioned to be made, by another talented discerner)

After a few months had gone by without acknowledgment, I started to wonder if she had even recieved it! I wrote to the monastery inquiring about it and I eventually recieved a reply letter from a nun in charge of correspondence to the public, telling me "thank you" for the gift! (that was mean't for her as it was a scapular) 

It went on to explain, that while this particular sister had been in temporary vows (she had actually been with that community for a very long time) she now felt God was calling her to a different community  and then "Thanked me" for my donation! That was it! (Unlike "das8949" who was able to find a written acknowledgement of that particular sister's leaving) 

To this day, I still don't know if she ever received her gift!  (the letter..of which I still have..doesn't mention that!)  I often think about her, especially on what would have been her anniversary profession date! (by now, she would have became Solemn professed) Her blood sister also left that monastery shortly there after as well!

I know a varity of things happen... God's will, personal choice, changes in community dynamics etc!

Privacy is at the foremost of importance for those that do not persevere for whatever their reason may be!!

What I have learned is, I am a cheerleader for those on their discerment journey! However, once inside those convents and monastery walls that is where personal interest stops!! And....while I am all for prayers and support etc for discerners on here..I don't FOLLOW anyone's discernment journey anymore! (and they are all pretty much different)

Early on, after I made the mistake of coming on here (Boy was I obviously ignorant to the protocol) revealing that this particular sister I had supported had left (and from which monastery it was) ... and to express my feelings of sadness etc  I was blasted by the most experianced PM members (and you know who you are) and was quickly educated on what NOT to say or do regarding THAT aspect of religious life!!

I am sure "das8949" has now found that out as well!! Lol