Friend expecting her first child (not married)

[Jessicaane]

So my friend just informed me that she found out that she is expecting. Here is the background on her. She is currently in the process of RCIA and being confirmed. Her boyfriend of over a year (yes, they aren't married) is in very good standing with the Catholic Church. Attends Mass every Sunday, and is honestly just the perfect Catholic. (or so I thought) As you can imagine, they are both extremely terrified to tell anyone as they are worried how they will be judge by family members, the church, ect, although we have no right to judge. They are afraid they are a disappointment, but are very blessed with the miracle they have conceived! They plan on getting married before the baby is born.

My questions are, (I have a few, lol) ....

What/How does the church feel and say about conceiving a child outside of marriage.

What will the Church advise them to do?

Will they be kicked out of the church? Will she be able to continue RCIA?

Any info on this situation would be great, I really want to be there for her and give her advise as she is very scared and afraid of what everyone will say.

 

Thank you all  

 

[Luigi]

1. The Church does not approve of people having children outside of wedlock. The Church knows these are not the first people in history who have done so.

2. The Church will advise (probably require) them to NOT get married until the baby has been born and some time (typically a year) has passed. When people marry in the Church, they are asked three questions, which they must answer truthfully and in the affirmative: Are you here of your own free will? Will you accept children freely and lovingly from God? Will you raise the children in the faith?

If a couple is expecting a child, the Church assumes that they can't really answer the first question truthfully in the affirmative, because of the social pressure that they are probably experiencing from their families. So the Church says, let the baby be born, and if after a while you still want to get married, then we can believe you're doing this because the two of you really want to rather than doing it simply to please your parents.

3. They will not be kicked out of the Church. The Church believes in forgiveness of sins. Tell your friend to ask about forgiveness of sins in one the RCIA sessions.

I don't know if she'll be allowed to continue with RCIA. That would probably be considered a pastoral decision. My guess is that she will be allowed to continue in RCIA, but she might not be received into the Church until after the baby's born. (That feels wrong as I write it - others on this board may have more experience or insight into the situation.)

Edited February 7, 2017 by Luigi

[CatherineM]

It really depends on their pastor. 

[beatitude]

If we got kicked out of church for committing sins then the pews would be very empty. The priest will be able to give them good advice about all this. Priests usually understand human weakness better than most - there is very little they don't hear in a confessional. Your friends should talk to him as soon as they can.

There is no such thing as the 'perfect Catholic', at least not this side of heaven. We are all broken and in need of God's grace. We should not be shocked at one another's sins, just committed to helping one another to do better. I will pray for your friends and for your parish community, that everyone may react compassionately and with understanding.