Consecrated Virginity Discernment

[MiserereMeiDeus]

Hello,

I've known of this webpage before and I thought it would be nice to meet and talk with like minded people who have the interest and/or desire for some form of consecrated life. I have been in religious life two times and have discerned out. The last was last year and I decided to leave before making First Vows. It was a very hard choice but one that I am coming to peace with. I would like to become more involved at my Parish here. I'm going to sign up for Sacristy help since I have some experience when I was in the Monastery. Also, pro-life work because I've volunteered at a pregnancy care center prior to entering the community. It is hard to go to Church with my full time schedule and I do work weekends, so Adoration isn't possible right now. It's an adjustment here in the world from being in the cloister but Our Lord is faithful.

I have been doing research on consecrated virginity. I am drawn to what I have learned and would like to continue discerning this vocation. To leave my last community was a very hard choice, especially being close to making First Vows, but I'm coming to terms with my decision. I entered both times with the right intention: my desire for union with God, and to offer sacrifices and sufferings for love of Him and souls. However, wanting to give everything is not always how we think giving everything means. Perhaps that means not being able to live the life you had desired and having God's reasons remaining mysterious and He asks you to trust in Him and go wherever He asks. He did want me in there, for the time I was, but now He has other plans. I find that being in the world has more sacrifices and sufferings. For me, being in the cloister tended to make me more selfish and concerned with myself. I have been reflecting on my faith journey since I have entered the Church nine years ago and this scripture passage came to mind from Matthew 5:14-15, "You are the light of the world. A city seated on a mountain cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but upon a candlestick, that it may shine to all that are in the house." I have the gift of bringing joy to others and being compassionate. I work at the nursing home currently but will be taking classes hopefully this Spring. My ultimate desire is union with Jesus. I want to do His work but in greater union with Him; to make a commitment to Him, to be consecrated. The marriage vocation is beautiful but I couldn't devote myself to another. I desire consecration.

I was wondering if anyone here could tell me how one starts to discern this vocation? Who I need to talk with? Where I can find the resources I need? Has anyone here become a CV, or have discerned and can share with me the process and how one lives out their consecration? Also, I am in the Orlando, FL Diocese and I don't think there are any CV here. However, in surrounding Diocese's there are a few. St. Augustine I believe has two right now. If a woman does become a CV does she get that done in the next closest Diocese while living in another if the one she lives in doesn't offer that? I am still trying to learn this whole process. Thank you for helping!

 

 

 

 

[Pax17]

Sponsa Christi is a CV who posts here; she's a wealth of info.  In the meantime, in case you haven't discovered it, here's a link to her blog:

http://sponsa-christi.blogspot.com/

[OnlySunshine]

1 hour ago, MiserereMeiDeus said:

Hello,

I've known of this webpage before and I thought it would be nice to meet and talk with like minded people who have the interest and/or desire for some form of consecrated life. I have been in religious life two times and have discerned out. The last was last year and I decided to leave before making First Vows. It was a very hard choice but one that I am coming to peace with. I would like to become more involved at my Parish here. I'm going to sign up for Sacristy help since I have some experience when I was in the Monastery. Also, pro-life work because I've volunteered at a pregnancy care center prior to entering the community. It is hard to go to Church with my full time schedule and I do work weekends, so Adoration isn't possible right now. It's an adjustment here in the world from being in the cloister but Our Lord is faithful.

I have been doing research on consecrated virginity. I am drawn to what I have learned and would like to continue discerning this vocation. To leave my last community was a very hard choice, especially being close to making First Vows, but I'm coming to terms with my decision. I entered both times with the right intention: my desire for union with God, and to offer sacrifices and sufferings for love of Him and souls. However, wanting to give everything is not always how we think giving everything means. Perhaps that means not being able to live the life you had desired and having God's reasons remaining mysterious and He asks you to trust in Him and go wherever He asks. He did want me in there, for the time I was, but now He has other plans. I find that being in the world has more sacrifices and sufferings. For me, being in the cloister tended to make me more selfish and concerned with myself. I have been reflecting on my faith journey since I have entered the Church nine years ago and this scripture passage came to mind from Matthew 5:14-15, "You are the light of the world. A city seated on a mountain cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but upon a candlestick, that it may shine to all that are in the house." I have the gift of bringing joy to others and being compassionate. I work at the nursing home currently but will be taking classes hopefully this Spring. My ultimate desire is union with Jesus. I want to do His work but in greater union with Him; to make a commitment to Him, to be consecrated. The marriage vocation is beautiful but I couldn't devote myself to another. I desire consecration.

I was wondering if anyone here could tell me how one starts to discern this vocation? Who I need to talk with? Where I can find the resources I need? Has anyone here become a CV, or have discerned and can share with me the process and how one lives out their consecration? Also, I am in the Orlando, FL Diocese and I don't think there are any CV here. However, in surrounding Diocese's there are a few. St. Augustine I believe has two right now. If a woman does become a CV does she get that done in the next closest Diocese while living in another if the one she lives in doesn't offer that? I am still trying to learn this whole process. Thank you for helping!

I am also discerning a vocation to Consecrated Virginity myself as the desire for consecrated life never waned after discerning away from religious life.  I don't know of the exact method as I have not started formal discernment yet, but I believe the person you are supposed to talk to is the Bishop (in your case, it would be Bishop Noonan) as he will be the one to confer the blessing of Consecrated Virginity.  Do you have a spiritual director or a priest that you feel comfortable talking to?  You might even want to talk to a group of religious in your diocese as they might be able to direct you in your discernment.  I did some research and these orders are in Orlando:

Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity

Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary

There are a few others found here:

http://www.orlandodiocese.org/ministries-offices/consecrated-life/sisters/

 

Edited January 30, 2017 by OnlySunshine

[MiserereMeiDeus]

13 hours ago, OnlySunshine said:

I am also discerning a vocation to Consecrated Virginity myself as the desire for consecrated life never waned after discerning away from religious life.  I don't know of the exact method as I have not started formal discernment yet, but I believe the person you are supposed to talk to is the Bishop (in your case, it would be Bishop Noonan) as he will be the one to confer the blessing of Consecrated Virginity.  Do you have a spiritual director or a priest that you feel comfortable talking to?  You might even want to talk to a group of religious in your diocese as they might be able to direct you in your discernment.  I did some research and these orders are in Orlando:

Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity

Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary

There are a few others found here:

http://www.orlandodiocese.org/ministries-offices/consecrated-life/sisters/

 

Thank you so much for helping me with the research. I took a look at the website. I am in contact with the priest who helped me when I was at the Monastery, but the contact is long distance so I will probably have to start talking also with one of the priests at my parish since they are the ones that hear my confessions. I found out that a Sister is the director of faith formation at the Church. Maybe I should contact her also?

I finally found my way around the consecrated virgins website and found the process of discernment. It looks like a long process but that must be good or everyone involved. http://consecratedvirgins.org/process

There is an application form to send to the Bishop. It looks like I would have to let me parish priest know because he would be contacted as a reference.

[Sponsa-Christi]

Hi @MiserereMeiDeus

The first "official" step to becoming a consecrated virgin is contacting the diocese where you live. You could write directly to the bishop, but I'd also suggest you call the Diocesan Vocations Office. They should be able to put you in touch with whoever would be in charge of consecrated virgins (often this is the Vicar or Delegate for Religious). 

So you know, right now every diocese handles discernment and formation for consecrated virginity differently. The USACV has some helpful information on their website, but their description of the formation process and their sample application paperwork is really basically just a suggestion. Dioceses can follow their suggestions to the letter and use all their suggested paperwork; or a diocese might borrow some elements that seem helpful; or they might do things entirely their own way. 

The first "unofficial" steps for discerning consecrated virginity are usually things like working with a spiritual director, living the prayer life of a CV as much as possible (generally daily Mass and the Liturgy of the Hours), learning about consecrated virginity and talking with already-consecrated virgins.

(And by the way, I'm always happy to be in touch with women discerning consecrated virginity. If you ever wanted to have a friendly informal discussion about this vocation, feel free to send me a PM.)

As a quick thought, though, is that I would generally caution against going to a woman religious for a personal discussion about discerning consecrated virginity, unless that woman religious is already a mentor or a spiritual director you've had a fruitful relationship with. Don't get me wrong, woman religious in general are wonderful! But I've found that even those who have a great appreciation for consecrated virginity often have a hard time really "getting" what it means to live this life. On the other hand, I've also found that often---not always, of course, but often---knowledgeable diocesan priests have a more intuitive grasp of what it means to be a CV. 

 

 

[NadaTeTurbe]

4 hours ago, Sponsa-Christi said:

On the other hand, I've also found that often---not always, of course, but often---knowledgeable diocesan priests have a more intuitive grasp of what it means to be a CV. 

Their way of life is closer, no ? 

[DominicanHeart]

I'm considering becoming a CV as well but I'm also looking into Missionary work 

[MiserereMeiDeus]

19 hours ago, Sponsa-Christi said:

Hi @MiserereMeiDeus

The first "official" step to becoming a consecrated virgin is contacting the diocese where you live. You could write directly to the bishop, but I'd also suggest you call the Diocesan Vocations Office. They should be able to put you in touch with whoever would be in charge of consecrated virgins (often this is the Vicar or Delegate for Religious). 

So you know, right now every diocese handles discernment and formation for consecrated virginity differently. The USACV has some helpful information on their website, but their description of the formation process and their sample application paperwork is really basically just a suggestion. Dioceses can follow their suggestions to the letter and use all their suggested paperwork; or a diocese might borrow some elements that seem helpful; or they might do things entirely their own way. 

The first "unofficial" steps for discerning consecrated virginity are usually things like working with a spiritual director, living the prayer life of a CV as much as possible (generally daily Mass and the Liturgy of the Hours), learning about consecrated virginity and talking with already-consecrated virgins.

(And by the way, I'm always happy to be in touch with women discerning consecrated virginity. If you ever wanted to have a friendly informal discussion about this vocation, feel free to send me a PM.)

As a quick thought, though, is that I would generally caution against going to a woman religious for a personal discussion about discerning consecrated virginity, unless that woman religious is already a mentor or a spiritual director you've had a fruitful relationship with. Don't get me wrong, woman religious in general are wonderful! But I've found that even those who have a great appreciation for consecrated virginity often have a hard time really "getting" what it means to live this life. On the other hand, I've also found that often---not always, of course, but often---knowledgeable diocesan priests have a more intuitive grasp of what it means to be a CV. 

 

 

Thank you very much for helping. Currently I am in the unofficial stage. I have mentioned my interest to the Father who has been helping me and I am in contact with those who are consecrated virgins. I did the research and found that the vocation director for the diocese I'm in is a diocesan priest. I am praying the Liturgy of the Hours but unfortunately getting to daily Mass isn't possible with my current job. I am hoping that will change after I graduate from the Tech school and get a new position. There is hope that I could then get every weekend off instead of every other. All in God's hands.

I do have a few questions that I would like to ask you, thank you.

 

9 hours ago, DominicanHeart said:

I'm considering becoming a CV as well but I'm also looking into Missionary work 

Perhaps you could do both; Missionary work as a consecrated virgin.

[MiserereMeiDeus]

Just wanted to post here again. Please share if you can any information or experiences about discernment and the life. ☺ I have been coming across some more info which has been helpful. I hope soon to contact the vocations director.

[MiserereMeiDeus]

@Sponsa-Christi I was looking up information last night and found somewhere that said about who can be considered for CV 'typically a woman has been living a vow of chastity for some years.' I never made a formal type vow before a priest but since my conversion in 2009 I had decided to consecrate myself to God, as in giving that to Him. I did add something pertaining to this in my consecration prayer I wrote when I did my consecration to Jesus through Mary. I think that was in 2013. I was wondering if ones resolve to give their virginity to God is sufficient or does one need to make a more formal vow, like before a priest? Thank you.

[Sponsa-Christi]

8 hours ago, MiserereMeiDeus said:

@Sponsa-Christi I was looking up information last night and found somewhere that said about who can be considered for CV 'typically a woman has been living a vow of chastity for some years.' I never made a formal type vow before a priest but since my conversion in 2009 I had decided to consecrate myself to God, as in giving that to Him. I did add something pertaining to this in my consecration prayer I wrote when I did my consecration to Jesus through Mary. I think that was in 2013. I was wondering if ones resolve to give their virginity to God is sufficient or does one need to make a more formal vow, like before a priest? Thank you.

Hi MiserereMeiDeus,

A lot of aspiring CVs start out by making a private vow of chastity/virginity, but this is NOT a canonical requirement. Whether or not to make a private vow as part of your discernment is something you would work out with your spiritual director. 

On 1/31/2017 at 3:05 AM, NadaTeTurbe said:

Their way of life is closer, no ? 

Yes, I think so. I think diocesan priests and consecrated virgins also share a similar spirituality of dedicating themselves to the local Church. 

But also, for Sisters community life is so central and important, that often I've found that woman religious (or actually, any religious, including many religious priests) can have a difficult time imagining living a truly consecrated life apart from a community. I've found that often religious either advise CVs and future CVs to try to find some rough equivalent of a religious community for themselves (which isn't helpful); or on the other hand, to "water-down" consecrated virginity and treat is as something less than a radical commitment to the evangelical counsels (which is even less helpful!)

Obviously, that's speaking in very general terms, so I certainly mean no offense to all the wonderful religious here! And to put the shoe on the other foot, I freely acknowledge that I'm not the best person to talk to get a sense of the full beauty and significance of the charism of community life.

[MiserereMeiDeus]

4 hours ago, Sponsa-Christi said:

Hi MiserereMeiDeus,

A lot of aspiring CVs start out by making a private vow of chastity/virginity, but this is NOT a canonical requirement. Whether or not to make a private vow as part of your discernment is something you would work out with your spiritual director. 

Yes, I think so. I think diocesan priests and consecrated virgins also share a similar spirituality of dedicating themselves to the local Church. 

But also, for Sisters community life is so central and important, that often I've found that woman religious (or actually, any religious, including many religious priests) can have a difficult time imagining living a truly consecrated life apart from a community. I've found that often religious either advise CVs and future CVs to try to find some rough equivalent of a religious community for themselves (which isn't helpful); or on the other hand, to "water-down" consecrated virginity and treat is as something less than a radical commitment to the evangelical counsels (which is even less helpful!)

Obviously, that's speaking in very general terms, so I certainly mean no offense to all the wonderful religious here! And to put the shoe on the other foot, I freely acknowledge that I'm not the best person to talk to get a sense of the full beauty and significance of the charism of community life.

Thank you for letting me know.  

Just something to share: I haven't seen pictures yet but there was a consecration today at the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul in Philadelphia. The Celebrant was Archbishop Chaput. Very exciting. I hope to hear more. I've read some beautiful articles from women who have become CV. Maybe they're known well around here but if I find the links again I could post.

Here is just the little article they have today about the consecration: http://archphila.org/archbishop-chaput-to-celebrate-solemn-mass-of-consecration-to-the-life-of-virginity/

[DominicanHeart]

1 hour ago, MiserereMeiDeus said:

Thank you for letting me know.  

Just something to share: I haven't seen pictures yet but there was a consecration today at the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul in Philadelphia. The Celebrant was Archbishop Chaput. Very exciting. I hope to hear more. I've read some beautiful articles from women who have become CV. Maybe they're known well around here but if I find the links again I could post.

Here is just the little article they have today about the consecration: http://archphila.org/archbishop-chaput-to-celebrate-solemn-mass-of-consecration-to-the-life-of-virginity/

Oooooh that's so exciting!! I wish I could've witnessed that! I would love to see what it's like! 

[MiserereMeiDeus]

8 hours ago, DominicanHeart said:

Oooooh that's so exciting!! I wish I could've witnessed that! I would love to see what it's like! 

Me too! Are you in that area? I think there are four CV in the Philidelphia area. I'm in FL and the closest diocese near me (I'm in Orlando) St. Augustine I think has two. I have seen pictures of consecrations but not any videos. I would like to hear the readings and prayers, and the actual consecration prayers. Now I have to search for videos!

[DominicanHeart]

40 minutes ago, MiserereMeiDeus said:

Me too! Are you in that area? I think there are four CV in the Philidelphia area. I'm in FL and the closest diocese near me (I'm in Orlando) St. Augustine I think has two. I have seen pictures of consecrations but not any videos. I would like to hear the readings and prayers, and the actual consecration prayers. Now I have to search for videos!

I'm not in Philly but I'm a train ride away. I love the Cathedral. There must be a video of the prayers and stuff on YouTube somewhere