Awkward Family Situation

[HopefulHeart]

Yesterday, a relative (I will refer to her as A) commented on one of my Facebook posts. She told me that a person who works under her has read my FB profile and wants to be friends. A also wants to get in touch with me by phone. I do not know the name of the person A mentions, but I am almost positive it is a man whom she views as a potential date/boyfriend for me.

Meanwhile, I believe that I have a religious vocation. I have had almost no contact with A for a few years, but in the past she has been very critical of my even considering religious life. I have no interest in discussing the topic with her again. I also am not interested in being Facebook friends with this unknown person whom A mentioned.

I think I will tell her that I am too busy this week to call (I am taking an intense class load!) and that I do not accept friend requests from anyone whom I have not met (which is true). This feels like the most prudent option, but I am not sure. Any advice on how I should deal with this situation?  

[NadaTeTurbe]

Be honest with her : ask her why her friend want to meet you, and tell her you're not interested in dating. 

It's not about religious vocation, but about respecting your boundaries. 

Good luck with that ! 

[Makarioi]

Ditto what Nada said.  You could also get the phone number, call from other than your phone and politely tell this person thanks, but no thanks at the moment. 

[Feankie]

First off, I sense a bit of hesitancy or apprehension in your post.  Over the years (and I'm WAY older than  most of you) I've found that I get my best advice listening to my heart, head, and "gut".......the  Holy Spirit broken down into corporeal terms   I signed off of my Facebook account a few years ago as I found I was wasting too much time on the site, but if I still remember correctly it is up to you whether or not to "friend" someone. So listen interiorly and just say no.

It's odd that A has contacted you "out of the blue" if you have had no contact with her for some time.  Motives?!  If you feel comfortable doing so, I would ask her (probably by email if you don't want to give out your phone number) why she's contacting you about this person if you've had very little contact about anything!   Since she is a relative, as former President Reagan said, "Trust, but verify." You apparently have a gut feeling about her motive/s already.

If it were me (and I'm NOT you) I wouldn't even accept  phone number as that implies that you're interested and will call.  And that seems not to be the case

IMHO this could very well turn into a huge can of worms that could be avoided in the first place.

[beatitude]

I agree with everyone else. Personally I'd be a bit cross with a relative who showed my Facebook profile to some random person I'd never met, especially if the relative wasn't close to me. I do sometimes accept introductions from friends and family who know me well, which usually go something like, "So-and-so is doing similar research to yours and I think you'd have a lot to talk about," but that's something different from coming out of nowhere and mysteriously telling you a stranger wants to speak to you without giving any reason why. Your response sounds polite and reasonable.

[HopefulHeart]

Thank you all for your advice! I sent my relative a message on Facebook. (I would send an email, but I do not have her email address.) I asked why her acquaintance wants to contact me and explained that, as a rule, I do not become Facebook friends with people I have not met. I think this was the best course of action.

I was rather close to A as a teenager, but I grew distant from her when I began college. Over the past three years, I have seen her only twice at family gatherings, during which I made brief small talk with her. She has no insight into my current perspective on dating and vocational discernment, and I am rather annoyed at this (perceived) attempt to shepherd my personal life.

[Dominican.Nuns.Menlo]

Good job in setting your boundaries and make known your true intention in a charitable way! Honesty is always the best way to go.

Most of the time people think that when we start discerning religious vocation, we only have to deal with negative reactions, i.e. family oppositions, etc. but good things can also come our way, i.e. a sudden interest from the opposite sex or friends/family out of the blue want us to meet someone they find attractive and who might be good for us. It can be sincere (or not). But this is when God gives us a choice and asks "do you love me more than these?" 

This may not be the last! God bless you on your journey. Stay close to Jesus! And if you suspect anyone tries to set you up again, politely tell them you've already "seeing" someone, namely Jesus. I've gone through similiar situation before I entered the monastery. It will get more interesting when you get closer to actually enter a congregation!

Prayers!

 

[HopefulHeart]

Thank you for the encouraging response, Sister!

My relative responded to my message and respected my desire not to be Facebook friends with people I do not know. Apparently she thought I may have met her acquaintance already at Catholic events, but I have not. It appears the situation is resolved. I am glad I took a cautious approach at the beginning.  

Edited January 30, 2017 by HopefulHeart