Re: cancer

[Anastasia13]

How long does it take to get over the emotions coming up from time to time with reminders of the experiences people having loved ones in the hospital/major surgeries and such?

[Anomaly]

My experience is you never "get over it".   Your feelings and emotions do change over time.  There are loved ones I miss more after five years than I did in the first few years.   But in a different way.  It's different for everyone at different times and certainly not something you need to resolve without others' help.  It's not ridiculous to seek help and support months or years later.  

[Spem in alium]

I agree, I don't think you can really "get over it". Two of my mother's sisters died from cancer on the same date, but four years apart (21 and 17 years ago). My mother is still grieving. Most days she's fine, but sometimes it just gets too much or she remembers particular things about her sisters and their illness. When their anniversary arrives she struggles a lot. And that's ok, because there's no time frame for grief. I've learned just to be there if she wants a cuddle or wants to talk. I was too young to really know either of them, but there is a hole of loss in my family.

[<3 PopeFrancis]

I would imagine it is something you never get over, but find better ways of coping.

[CatherineM]

My Mom had cancer 7 times. The scariest was the first time when she lost a lung and went through radiation. I somehow compartmentalized it. 

[Anastasia13]

It's not the losing someone, it's the could have, major surgery, and moments afterwards.

Edited December 1, 2016 by Anastasia (L&T)

[Quasar]

I'm not sure.  My experience was that the gratitude that they're still here, and even the fear that there could be a recurrence, is so much stronger than feelings about the past illness.

[Norseman82]

On Wednesday, November 30, 2016 at 0:37 PM, Spem in alium said:

I agree, I don't think you can really "get over it". Two of my mother's sisters died from cancer on the same date, but four years apart (21 and 17 years ago). My mother is still grieving. Most days she's fine, but sometimes it just gets too much or she remembers particular things about her sisters and their illness. When their anniversary arrives she struggles a lot. And that's ok, because there's no time frame for grief. I've learned just to be there if she wants a cuddle or wants to talk. I was too young to really know either of them, but there is a hole of loss in my family.

 

On Wednesday, November 30, 2016 at 2:51 PM, <3 PopeFrancis said:

I would imagine it is something you never get over, but find better ways of coping.

I remember helping my mother wash her head (what little hair she had left after chemo).  To this day, whenever I remember that, I can still feel the scabs on her head from the chemo - and this is almost forty years later.