What's the deal with US men?

[Sister Leticia]

A couple of thoughts:

Firstly, you've only been in the US 5 years - that's not long at all! For example, my congregation had been in another country for 10 years before we received our first vocations from there, and then after the first 2-3 entrants there was a gap before the next one, then another gap... and finally after nearly 20 years we started to get a steadier flow of vocations. (Now they have at least 2-3 new candidates each year)

But at the same time it is good to ask the questions. So secondly, I wonder if the things which are central to your vocation - a spirit of 'minority' and a lack of all the usual signifiers of status and success - are too countercultural for many American/western men. Maybe women are more up for the challenge?! Do you know whether the other orders with similar charism/values (in terms of poverty and lowly status) also have a similar disparity between ratios of male and female vocations? And if they don't, perhaps you could see how they do vocations ministry, what they emphasise and how?

That said, I do think you need to look at your website. When I last looked at it and the video you posted I saw lots of photos of friars and sisters in different places, but had no sense of what you were doing there, so it felt almost like looking at touristy/family photos. So I knew what you are free FROM (possessions, cars etc) but not what you are free FOR.

Finally, a thought: if you travel to different countries, do you have a benefactor who helps you pay for visas, or for travel across seas for which you can't hitchhike (eg to Australia)? Perhaps you could ask this benefactor to pay for a professional to work on your website with some of the friars and sisters providing the content? Ultimately, it will all be at the service of your mission.

[Sister Leticia]

@beatitude - hijacking this thread to say I've tried PM'ing you again, but got a message saying you weren't accepting messages. Does this mean your inbox is full?

Once you've seen this you can use your Mediator of Meh power and delete it, so the thread doesn't get properly hijacked

[beatitude]

1 minute ago, Sister Leticia said:

@beatitude - hijacking this thread to say I've tried PM'ing you again, but got a message saying you weren't accepting messages. Does this mean your inbox is full?

Once you've seen this you can use your Mediator of Meh power and delete it, so the thread doesn't get properly hijacked

It was full. I've cleared space for you.

[Gabriela]

5 hours ago, Poor Friars said:

Peace and good and thank you all for your insights!
We are greatly appreciative for the suggestions made... I guess I didn't expect it to get so personal, thinking it would be a more general question in regards to male vocations to religious life in the United States, but the suggestions about our website and the way we present ourselves has been constructive.

I guess I would like to firstly start with a public apology to Beatitude if the thread we opened about living a life of poverty apposed to living a year. We did not intend to offend you, just wanting to arouse some kind of interaction with anyone wanting to live a life as ours. Please forgive us and thank you for your gentleness and openness with us here.

As for our website, (I smile with complete agreement with you all) we too know that it's time to have it updated. Given that our community can not afford to pay someone to do it and that we are very precarious to have someone who does not intimately know our Charism work on it, we choose to only have our Consecrated Friars or Nuns build the site. We are hoping to change it soon, but given that most of our consecrated members are either busy with Studies in Rome, busy with pastoral work, or leading our respective communities though out Italy, France and here in the US -  we haven't had the time or energy to renew the website. It will be an extensive and time consuming job that we agree needs to be done soon. 

Yes, the phrase KatherineH, the phrase: "We don’t have anything, no telephone, no fax, no home ( Cf. Mt 8, 20 ), but for every eventuality, write to this address" is an old phrase we used years ago when we were living in the Sicilian Countryside without electricity, I agree, it needs to be reviewed. Again we apologize if it seems misleading.. Though we still live the same poverty (without being able to own a computer) we use simple laptop computers. As I have mentioned in other threads, our maturity of the understanding how to use these means to evangelize has grown greatly over the years.

Since the website was first published we have also grown in number and presence throughout the world. We would not put our address on the website to protect us from "sharks" who would have liked to hurt us as a new community that was still in its early stages of growth. Now we have canonical approval, priest, deacons, and a growing number of members in a growing number of diocese, I agree, that it would be best to have our locations on the website.

God bless you Gabriela. We did not at all think in any way that every title we used was "shameless" as you very harshly say, but I agree it was intended to promote Catholic vocations, and arouse discussion with vocational interests (in most cases these may be people new to Phatmas and seeking a lifestyle as ours). We ARE looking for people who are interested in a lifestyle of the Gospel such as ours. I have found Phatmas as a great blessing to share our activities precisely for the direct intention to those who are: "Contemplating religious life? It's a party for all you priest and nun wannabes!". I'm sorry that you say that we are not "one of us". Maybe this thread will help.

So, getting back to the question at hand, I was hoping that there may be more insights on Men's religious life here in the USA, why the obvious difference of the incline in Women's vocations, where there are numbers growing, what's working, where and how a community can promote themselves to the public etc.

Thank you!

Sorry if I've missed any of the questions raised and thank you all for your input.
Best wishes of Holiness!
 

I definitely think that this post helps us get to know you better, which is a good start. I hope that, from this point on, you'll participate more in conversations in general, rather than just start ad-like threads that aren't really meant for discussion.

I apologize if I came off harsh. It wasn't my intent to offend. I'm just very direct. Some people appreciate it; others not so much.  

[Antigonos]

Judging by the pictures you've posted here -- to be honest, I haven't had the time to look at the website -- all I can say is that, if I were driving alone in my car, I most certainly would NOT stop to pick up one or more of you, not having the slightest idea whether it was safe or not, whereas I have often given lifts to religious in traditional habits [usually a pair of nuns, since they almost always are never alone].  There is something of a cult appearance in the rather exotic outfits you wear, and I'm not keen to give lifts to men in any case. Alas, we live in a world where we have to constantly think about personal security.

[NadaTeTurbe]

Juste one question : where are you in France ? Fréjus Toulon ? 

Also : the Little Sisters and Brothers of the Lamb kind of have a similar life - they hitchike a lot. They have 250 sisters for 50 brothers... 

[Poor Friars]

Peace and Good again!
Wow, we're really receiving much insight through the comments given here on this thread, so thank you all for your observations and comments. @beatitude you gave a insight in particular about friars and ordained priests... yes, we have seen with other communities that have concentrated on brothers rather that priesthood dropping in numbers dramatically... We will have to make special mention and clear demonstration that we all generally aspire to priesthood on the next website (God willing sooner than later) that we plan on constructing.

@Sister Leticia You also gave very insightful reflections about the price of building a website... indeed, that really was not a deep reflection of mine to say that the "cost" is a factor that seriously prevents us from building a new sight... Very true... when ever we have needed providence from the Lord to do His will, He had never failed to abundantly bless us - even with tickets to fly overseas etc. In reflection, the strongest reason why we have not begun to build a new one is as I said that we want consecrated members construct it and that we haven't had the time just yet to begin the work (the current website exists in some 5 languages and is very very complex and will require much labor). 

 

@Gabriela Apology humbly accepted! Thank you for your time and reflections... We have always wished that there would be more discussion on the threads that we have posted and now understand what may need to change.

@NadaTeTurbe Yes, at this very moment steps are being made for us to move into the Diocese of Toulun! 
                           - Very very interesting about  the Little Sisters and Brothers of the Lamb and their brother-sister ratio.

[NadaTeTurbe]

10 hours ago, Poor Friars said:

 

@NadaTeTurbe Yes, at this very moment steps are being made for us to move into the Diocese of Toulun! 
                           - Very very interesting about  the Little Sisters and Brothers of the Lamb and their brother-sister ratio.

I was sure it was the diocese of Toulon. Great diocese, great priest, great bishop. If you can meet with Little Sisters and Brothers of the Lamb, it could be interesting. They have house in the Diocese of Avignon, wich is not far from Toulon. The Diocese of Avignon does a lot of things with the Diocese of Toulon, and is also very dynamic.