Boyfriend calling to Priesthood

[WhiteLily]

Give him the freedom to discern. He may have a hard time relating to women or recieving love from them. Does he have issues within his family with mom, dad, sister, brother? (Rhetorical question) 

I invite you to pray for him and for the healing he needs in order to live out his vocation to his full potential. We all need healing, but I sense there is something there that he is holding on to and not allowing Jesus in that part in his heart. 

A similar situation happened with a friend of mine from college. During college she and her boyfriend were quite serious about their discernment and were discerning marriage. However, he was very immature with women, including her. He discerned that he was called to study to be a priest. She was absolutely heartbroken, but she was still in love with him and knew they were meant to be married. 

In a period of 6 years they remained close friends. One day we were on the phone and she still sensed in her heart she was meant to marry this man. I knew it also, including all our friends, but the seminarian didn't see that. He was in his pastoral year and one day he woke up and knew he was called to marriage and possibly to my friend. With the approval of his SD and the rector, he discerned out of the seminary this past spring. He proclaimed his love for my friend. She had just finished medical school and was going to move. 

He found a job as a Youth Minister in the town where she is doing her residency. He proposed to her just last week. 

She saw what Jesus had done to his heart. The seminary was the perfect place where he needed to be to recieve the healing in his heart he needed to live out his vocation to what Jesus is calling him to.

Please pray for this couple. They plan to get married either this summer or fall. 

Trust in Jesus. He has the perfect plan for you. Also, ask our Blessed Mother to intercede for him. I know you are discerning becoming Catholic. Please don't stop discerning. You will find true peace and joy in the Catholic Church, especially in the Eucharist which is the source and summit of our faith. 

God bless you and I will keep you and your friend in my prayers.

 

Edited October 26, 2016 by WhiteLily

[MirandaD]

On 10/24/2016 at 5:20 PM, Jessicaane said:

Hello all,

My boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me 2 days ago. He said he feels that God might be calling him away from marriage. He told me that he loves me very much, but that he doesn't have the want/willingness to do loving and caring things for me anymore. He said "you deserve so much, you deserve random flowers, and coffee at work and surprise dinner dates, and I should want to do all that for you like I used to but I just don't have that feeling anymore" This was a complete shock because nothing in our relationship gave me any doubt about our feelings for each other. We talked about marriage and having a family, so much that I thought we would be getting engaged not breaking up. He told me that his heart and soul he wants to have a family and be married, and not one part of him wants to be a priest. He mentioned how his last relationships came to the same end, he just started to feel different towards them. He mentioned how much his heart wants to be with me and marry me but his actions are telling him different. He thinks that maybe God is calling him to priesthood. I wasn't raised Catholic, but I was supposed to start RCIA this week and now this has happened. I am so heartbroken, because in my heart and soul I feel like God put this man in my life to marry. He is the man I prayed to God for. When we first met, after a couple of hours on our first date, God was telling me he was the one. I have never doubted that for one second. He says he has always prayed for us and in the beginning it felt perfect and right and he says he's continued to pray and now its different. How is it possible for us to be getting different signs. I am so confused on what to do... He says he is going to continue to pray about it and see what God wants. I need a lot of prayers and any advice right now. I don't know how to let him, this is the guy I love and talked to everyday. Should we remain in contact or should I cut all ties and let him figure it out? If anyone has been in a similar situation please give me words of advice.  

Hi it's crazy I just posted something very similar about my boyfriend although it's been a year now. It's difficult to cut all ties but definitely try to stay in the loop of things that way you'll feel some what apart of it. Don't loose hope I truly mean that- think of it as a blessing. I can't speak for you but I feel like I've grown from the time I found out until now in my faith and I trust what God has planned for me although I am confused. I keep re-reading what you wrote about him saying this has happened in previous relationships to him and my ex said the same. Did he feel like he's had a calling before and just pushed it aside? 

 

Praying for you. 

[Peace]

On 11/29/2016 at 4:25 AM, MirandaD said:

Hi it's crazy I just posted something very similar about my boyfriend although it's been a year now.

Yeah I know. Ya'll should get together for a hot chocolate.

[Julie]

6 hours ago, Peace said:

Yeah I know. Ya'll should get together for a hot chocolate.

We should. It can be like a really weird club. Nobody's eager to join, but that doesn't mean we can't be amesome.

[Karla T]

Help! I am too going through a similar situation. But my boyfriend just answers “he doesn’t know.”

im trying not to pressure him, but I need to know in case we don’t belong together I can move on.

[Lilllabettt]

20 hours ago, Karla T said:

Help! I am too going through a similar situation. But my boyfriend just answers “he doesn’t know.”

im trying not to pressure him, but I need to know in case we don’t belong together I can move on.

http://seraphicsinglescummings.blogspot.com/2010/10/discern-this-drama-boy.html?m=1

 

If he isnt sure, he shouldn't be dating anyone seriously. If you are interested in a serious relationship you need a different guy. You deserve to be with someone who is sure. Hes not the guy. 

 

[Seven77]

2 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

http://seraphicsinglescummings.blogspot.com/2010/10/discern-this-drama-boy.html?m=1

 

If he isnt sure, he shouldn't be dating anyone seriously. If you are interested in a serious relationship you need a different guy. You deserve to be with someone who is sure. Hes not the guy. 

 

I don't know, the author just seems to kinda come off rather  unapproving on religious vocation and vocation to the priesthood… and just because someone is discerning doesn't mean that "they are just not into you."  I think it's a rather delicate situation for both involved.  And let's not forget about women discerning… That is tough as well. I think I could cry if my gf, if I had one said she was discerning. But I would ultimately be happy because she has certainly chosen the better (obvious understatement) man.  The God-Man.

[Lilllabettt]

On 6/24/2019 at 8:21 PM, Seven77 said:

I don't know, the author just seems to kinda come off rather  unapproving on religious vocation and vocation to the priesthood… and just because someone is discerning doesn't mean that "they are just not into you."  I think it's a rather delicate situation for both involved.  And let's not forget about women discerning… That is tough as well. I think I could cry if my gf, if I had one said she was discerning. But I would ultimately be happy because she has certainly chosen the better (obvious understatement) man.  The God-Man.

If someone is discerning, or feels they want to discern, they need to break up with whomever they're in a serious relationship with. The preference would be they dont get into a serious relationship at all before finishing discernment of their vocation in life.

 Unfortunately the phenomenon of a devout Catholic using a relationship to "discern" their vocation isnt uncommon. I'm not talking about a 6 week old "relationship" when there are no serious attachments. After a month or so of  casual dating one should know whether one wants to pursue a serious relationship with someone.  At that point it's time to discern marrying THIS PERSON not use them to discern marriage in general.

Of course life isnt perfect and some people get hearts in jeopardy before realizing they need to discern a religious vocation.  If that's the case they need to break up, not tell the poor girl "I dont know." A womans heart is not a back up plan, right?It's no good to seriously discern two vocations simultaneously; it's not ethical and for the most part it doesn't work.  That's why its frowned on for seminarians to have girlfriends.  

[Seven77]

6 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

If someone is discerning, or feels they want to discern, they need to break up with whomever they're in a serious relationship with. The preference would be they dont get into a serious relationship at all before finishing discernment of their vocation in life.

 Unfortunately the phenomenon of a devout Catholic using a relationship to "discern" their vocation isnt uncommon. I'm not talking about a 6 week old "relationship" when there are no serious attachments. After a month or so of  casual dating one should know whether one wants to pursue a serious relationship with someone.  At that point it's time to discern marrying THIS PERSON not use them to discern marriage in general.

Of course life isnt perfect and some people get hearts in jeopardy before realizing they need to discern a religious vocation.  If that's the case they need to break up, not tell the poor girl "I dont know." A womans heart is not a back up plan, right?It's no good to seriously discern two vocations simultaneously; it's not ethical and for the most part it doesn't work.  That's why its frowned on for seminarians to have girlfriends.  

I agree, but the author's presentation comes off in a snarky tone that overshadows the truth of what she is saying. But then, immaturity and indecisiveness are difficult to put up with, so i understand. 

[fides' Jack]

I agree with what most other people are saying, here.  I would just add that it sounds like he's letting his feelings rule his decision-making.  He will never have a relationship where the feelings don't fade, and he should know that.

I also agree you should stay mostly away from him, for now.  But if he shows you interest again, what I would do is ask him to listen to Fr. Ripperger's talks online (YouTube is a good source for them) about the responsibilities of men in courtship, dating, and raising kids.