Requesting for help - Discerning Priesthood

[SheninFrancis]

Hey guys. I'm currently 19 years old and I'm an Indian. I had been discerning priesthood since two years, but I never considered it seriously enough. Like almost all guys, I've had my share of relationships and it was wonderful while it lasted. But I could not bring myself to the idea of getting married even though I admire it. I had this passion inside me to live and serve people through Jesus and his bride, the Church. 

So now, again, after two long years, I'm considering to join the Society of Jesus, but I'm not sure even now. I am emotional at times, and I cry in front of the crucifix almost always. During adoration, during personal prayer.. I cry because I feel I'm not worthy to be a priest. 

Please tell me what you think I should do. 

[Sister Leticia]

Hello and welcome!

If you're considering joining the Jesuits does this mean you're in touch with the Vocations Director, or with a Jesuit community? If you are, then I suggest you talk with them very honestly about your fears and feeling of unworthiness, as well as your hope and desire. Alternatively, talk to your parish priest or someone else who will understand and who can support you. You will probably find out that a lot of men who consider the priesthood experience feelings of unworthiness - and quite rightly so. Nobody should enter a seminary or religious life convinced that they're a prime candidate and isn't God/the Church lucky to have them!

Remember that in the vastness of God, and God's love, NOBODY is worthy of any of the gifts and graces God showers on us, but in his generosity, God actually takes a lot less notice of our limitations and unworthiness than we do.

Prayers and blessings, as you continue to see where and how Jesus might be calling you to follow him.

[Gabriela]

Take the first step, as Sister Leticia says, and contact the order. Let them decide whether you're worthy or not.

[Nunsuch]

Also, if the Jesuits aren't "right" for you, that doesn't necessarily mean you don't have a vocation elsewhere.  Good luck. Also, they may suggest that you wait a couple of years. In the US, at least, the Jesuits don't admit people anymore until they have a college degree. It may be different in India.  

[SheninFrancis]

Thank you so much for all of your advice! 

I had been in touch with the Jesuits and the Franciscan Friars, and they had encouraged me to join for their week-long retreat, after which I could join them. But I wasn't sure and also, my beloved ones had told me that priesthood may not be the right path for me (they did not, however, discourage me). My family, being close to the church, spoke to a priest and he thinks that I may not be a good candidate. But in the end, he too did not discourage me directly or indirectly. At this point, I should tell you that I have a bit of hearing difficulty and I use hearing aids. 

I also had a Nun and a Franciscan priest tell me that I'd make a good priest, but in the end, I'm just not sure. Also, I am currently doing my Engineering 1st year and honestly, it's not going too well and I don't feel interested in Sciences anymore. I considered leaving college, since In India, the seminaries will take candidates after they pass their high school education (class 12, which is the equivalent A Levels). 

Thank you so much, once again for your warm prayers and advice! :") 

God bless you abundantly.