Finding the right place to serve (introduction)

[DominiCanis]

For about a year I am seriously discerning religious life in general. Sinds two months I am doing this actively, as in visiting communities and talking to sisters. I feel very much drawn to the Dominican order (the order St. Dominic started, not the phenomenon I am about to describe), and I feel drawn to an apostolic life, rather than 100% contemplative. So I am looking for a group of apostolic Dominican sisters, preferably in The Netherlands, where I live. This won´t be easy since the Dominican order is very small here, as is everything. The remaining Dominicans are getting older, and are ... well, more often than not different from me. I consider myself to be orthodox and loyal to Rome. The sisters I have met usually have that post Vatican II je nais se quoi (no or even anti habit, political activism rather than first and foremost spreading the Gospel = apostolic in my view) I don´t exactly feel drawn to. I am hoping to find some anwers here, and maybe a place to find encouragment when I am feeling down or lost.

PS: As you may have guessed, English isn´t my first language. Please forgive me my errors, and feel free to give friendly corrections if you can´t stand it () or just feel called to help me improve my English, either on the forum or by message. I appreciate it.

[beatitude]

Your English is good, so it might be worth contacting some Dominican communities in the UK. The Dominicans of St Joseph down at Lymington are involved in catechesis and chaplaincy work. They are faithful to the Holy Father. Even if it isn't possible for you to discern with them, perhaps they might know of communities in the Netherlands for you to contact.

While I would obviously steer away from communities that were actively going against the Faith, in practice or in doctrine, remember that if you enter religious life you will be surrounded by people who are more often than not different from you.  That is both the beauty and the challenge of community life. There will always be sisters who have a different idea from yours about what the apostolate should look like, there will often be age gaps (which can be a great lesson in being loving and understanding!), and so on. Remember that whatever you may think of the sisters you've met so far, they've lived the Dominican life for years and you have yet to live it for one day, so don't necessarily write them off - search sincerely in prayer for the right place to be, recognising that it might not be the place that seems most obvious to you, and God will take you there.

[Egeria]

@DominiCanis I seemed to remember reading that the Nashville Dominican sisters had recently made a foundation in the Netherlands, and a Google search revealed that I had remembered correctly - they're in Sittard. You may want to investigate them more:

http://www.nashvilledominican.org/apostolate/where-we-serve/dominican-sisters-in-the-netherlands/

 

[Sister Leticia]

I'll second what Beatitude has said. Your English is indeed good, and here in the UK there are several congregations of Dominican sisters, all apostolic. I know a couple of the sisters in this congregation - http://www.stonedominicans.org/

You could also see if there are Dominican sisters in Flanders, or more generally in Belgium but with a Flemish presence.

As Beatitude has done, I'd urge you to be careful about writing off the sisters in your country. I recall - with some shame - that when I visited communities, way back in the day, I was quite critical and judgemental about a couple of them. Obviously, I was charming and polite to their faces, but I can remember thinking this or that wasn't right or good enough. I suspect it's a trap many discerners fall into, but really, the sisters we meet while we're on the outside looking in, don't deserve some of our opinions of them. However we may feel about how they live, dress, what they do etc, they are all women who have given their lives to God in love, fidelity, prayer and service. They've stuck the course, often through thick and thin - and that alone is deserving of respect.

[Egeria]

I understand where Beatitude and Sister Leticia are coming from as I also get concerned when I see people here writing off sisters simply because they don't wear habits or have some questioning attitudes. However, as someone with close up experience of the Catholic Church in the Netherlands, and of religious life in that context, I think that DominiCanis is entirely right to avoid the Dutch Dominicans. I don't want to risk being uncharitable by saying more here, just trust me (and her) that there are very good reasons for avoiding them.

@DominiCanis I seem to remember hearing that there are Dutch men (at least one, maybe more) who have entered the English and/or Irish province of the friars. It might be worth getting in touch with them for more perspective and advice.

Are the apostlic sisters of St Jan in the Netherlands? I just had a look at their website, but could only see a reference to the contemplatives. They're not Dominicans, but there is a Dominican influence and it may be worth getting in touch with the brothers to find out more...

[Egeria]

P.S. I've just found this website about the Nashville Dominicans in Sittard that may be helpful...

https://dominicansisterssittard.wordpress.com/

[josephine]

more dutchies on the phorum 

second the suggestion to contact the nashville dominicans and the sisters of st John. 

 

[DominiCanis]

Thank you for your answers. I appreciate this so much.

First of all, I am very much aware I shouldn´t dismiss the ‘sixties’ sisters on first sight. That is not what I am trying to do. I fact, I agreed to visit a community more often for weekends etc. even though they are different from me (they noticed this, too). After all, maybe they need me instead of the other way around. I don´t mean to be arrogant, I just want to be open to where God thinks my place should be. I am very open about this to these sisters and I try to keep in mind that no matter where I end up, these sisters will become sisters, beit in the same community or not. After all, this is not about me. But I am being careful. I can’t expect to live in a place that makes me feel under constant attack by ideas or sentiments I find un-Catholic. That is what I am worried about, that I will make a choice that will make me chronically unhappy. I need at least some support from my community in what I'm doing.

However, there is also good news. Last Sunday two young brothers were professed in the Dominican order and I read they will be studying at Blackfriars´s Hall, Oxford, UK before entering the convent in Huissen, The Netherlands. Also, these brothers already started a discours within the Dutch Dominican order on wearing the habit again. This is promising! Just the mere fact young novices are entering the order (and being educated in the UK, meaning outside The Netherlands, which is in my opinion a good thing because we have such a 'liberal' heritage here). If brothers can do this, sisters will follow and together we can start a new era, perhaps.

I have read about the Nashville sisters and I am so glad they came here! I hope we can team up one day, one way or the other, but I don’t feel personally drawn to them for various reasons (same goes for the brothers and sisters of St John by the way, who I respect very much). One thing for example: I am a city slicker by heart and am working as a volunteer within a city parish now. I feel drawn to urban apostolate, which is dying out here (as is everything Catholic), and I feel called to help bring this back to life again. Sittard, where the American sisters are living, isn’t the right spot for this.

I recently met a middle aged Dominican sister who is hoping to start a new community of apostolic sisters (and thus reform the Dutch Dominican order from the inside out, I hope). Now that is more like it, I think. The mere thought of having to work so hard in order to help build up something new is giving me sleepless nights (), but in my heart it feels good for some reason I cannot quite grasp yet. So I am on this track as well.

Ah well, we'll see ...

Below some links to things I mentioned above. Two of them are in Dutch but you can use Google Translate for those. Just paste the link into the typing field. 
http://www.bfriars.ox.ac.uk/
https://www.kloosterhuissen.nl/
http://www.dominicanen.nl/2016/09/feestelijke-eerste-professie-thomas-en-michael/

PS: Thank you for complementing my English, but believe me, writing about this specific topic which I am not used to takes a lot of effort, so any tips are welcome.

Edited September 13, 2016 by DominiCanis

[Amppax]

DominiCanis, I would highly suggest checking out the Nashville Dominican's. They are absolutely wonderful sisters (they taught at my parish, and I took classes for my masters with many of the sisters). They are very faithful to the Magisterium and an absolute joy to be around. 

Well, I should read what you post before responding. Best of luck in your discernment, you will be in my prayers. 

As others have said, your English is excellent. One tiny correction on your last post, though: compliment rather than complement. http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/compliment-versus-complement. Don't worry, it's a mistake native English speakers make all the time. I didn't even know the difference until I was in college!

Edited September 13, 2016 by Amppax

[NadaTeTurbe]

Hey, Dominicanis, don't be afraid to write here ! I'm not an English-speaker too, and everybody is very welcoming here. It's also very good to improve your english ! 

 

[Egeria]

18 hours ago, DominiCanis said:

I recently met a middle aged Dominican sister who is hoping to start a new community of apostolic sisters (and thus reform the Dutch Dominican order from the inside out, I hope). Now that is more like it, I think. The mere thought of having to work so hard in order to help build up something new is giving me sleepless nights (), but in my heart it feels good for some reason I cannot quite grasp yet. So I am on this track as well.

This sounds exciting, and if you did do something like this it would be good to be in touch with Dominicans elsewhere, including possibly for help with formation. The Dominicans of St Joseph that Beatitude linked to are also a newish foundation that was formed by Oakford Dominicans sisters who wanted to start a reformed group (although, in fairness, Oakford were not quite like the Dutch ones!) so they may have helpful insights to share.

Something else that occurs to me is that last I knew (which is admittedly quite a while ago now) there was quite a vibrant group of Dominican sisters in Norway. They may also be worth investigating and being in contact with. They speak Norwegian, of course, but then Scandanavians are almost as good as the Dutch are at languages... (And, no, I'm not Dutch, just lived there for a while...)

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

One other reason that you might want to consider talking with the St Joseph Dominicans in Lymington, England is that they are a very international bunch. In addition to Sisters from England, they have Sisters from the U.S., Nigeria, France, and Germany. They have a retreat house, so if you could get to England, it would be a nice place for a visit/talk/retreat.

However, the priory is not in the inner city, but is in the suburbs, on the edge of the New Forest. (It looks gorgeous!) That said, the Sisters minister all over the diocese and in other parts of England.

One big difference between the St. Joseph Dominicans and the Nashville Dominicans is that the St. Joseph Dominicans are not teachers. They serve as catechists, create instructional materials, etc etc etc. If you want to be a classroom teacher, they are not the right community.

One thing to consider about the Nashville Dominicans in the Netherlands. Even if their center of operations is not the inner city, that does not mean that, as a teacher, you might not be sent to the inner city to teach. One thing to ask the Nashville Dominicans is where in the Netherlands they have been asked to teach (even if they don't have enough Sisters in the Netherlands yet to fulfill the request.)

 

[Gabriela]

DominiCanis: I think you've got great advice so far. I just wanted to say I totally understand where you're coming from and think that, as long as you listen to your heart, you'll go well! I shall pray for you.

Welcome to the phorum. It is indeed a great place both to get vocational/discernment support and to improve one's English! 

[DominiCanis]

On 13-9-2016 at 8:21 PM, Amppax said:

DominiCanis, I would highly suggest checking out the Nashville Dominican's. They are absolutely wonderful sisters (they taught at my parish, and I took classes for my masters with many of the sisters). They are very faithful to the Magisterium and an absolute joy to be around. 

 

Thank you. I talked to one of the sisters on the phone and she was so friendly. I will be visiting them soon actually. I´m just trying to meet as much Dominican sisters as I can. No matter what choice I will make, they are my sisters and sisters need to get to know each other.

Thank you for the correction.  Stupid mistake really because of the French and Dutch complémentaire / complementair (additional).

On 14-9-2016 at 1:24 PM, Egeria said:

They speak Norwegian, of course, but then Scandanavians are almost as good as the Dutch are at languages... 

They do! In fact when I hear a Swedish or Norwegian person speak English, at first I usually think he or she is Dutch. I don´t know why because Norwegian and Dutch ar so different. Thank you for pointing me towards the St Joseph and Norwegian sisters. It might come in handy one day.

On 14-9-2016 at 5:04 PM, IgnatiusofLoyola said:

One thing to consider about the Nashville Dominicans in the Netherlands. Even if their center of operations is not the inner city, that does not mean that, as a teacher, you might not be sent to the inner city to teach. One thing to ask the Nashville Dominicans is where in the Netherlands they have been asked to teach (even if they don't have enough Sisters in the Netherlands yet to fulfill the request.)

 

That´s probably true. I have no strong calling towards education, although I have past experience in teaching (grammar school and high school Dutch and literature history). I suppose a community needs all kinds of people in order to keep going so I am not looking at a specific mission or anything. I am aware I am a good teacher but I can do more (I went from teacher to marketing professional / webdesign and content nerd/, so I am not easily limited).

16 hours ago, Gabriela said:

DominiCanis: I think you've got great advice so far. I just wanted to say I totally understand where you're coming from and think that, as long as you listen to your heart, you'll go well! I shall pray for you.

Thank you, thank you and thank you. 

Edited September 15, 2016 by DominiCanis

[DominiCanis2]

Update:

First of all, I am the same person as DominiCanis, but I got locked out of my old account. It was linked to my Facebook account and I deleted that ...

Several months since my last post, I can say a lot has happened! I started meeting brothers and sisters in the Dominican order in The Netherlands, and of course the Nashville sisters in Sittard. I took up some serious praying and studying and this resulted in expressing my desire to become a Dominican sister officially (as did no less than five other women in the last couple of months; I think six candidates is a nice start coming from zero!). I was asked to be patient and wait, because there is no convent that can accommodate and educate new sisters at this point. Basically there are a lot of meetings going on now, involving several congregations and their superiors.

Please pray for us, the candidates, and the congregations, and a new start for Dominican sisters in The Netherlands.

Edited April 9, 2017 by DominiCanis2