Question About Contacting Orders

[Antonella]

1 hour ago, Amppax said:

I've already emailed, a little over a month ago, but haven't received a response. So I think that's another part of my anxiety; am I not being patient enough? 

I heard that some Communities are not writing back on purpose so that they can see if the person interested will call/write back, to see if she is persistent or not. 

The first time I called a Convent the ND was busy so she said she will call back. When she called I was so nervous that I hang up on her. Horror. 

You could pray to God: Lord, if you want me to do this then give me the strength. It helped with me.

[Quasar]

The first time the VD I've been speaking with called me, and I saw her city and state pop up on my phone, I was very nervous.   Eek, a nun on the phone!  Prepare for the Last Judgement!  I went to an elementary school run by an order, so I have no excuse.  But, I answered the phone and spoke with her even though I was anxious, and it was fine.  The second conversation was even better and more natural.

Edited September 9, 2016 by Quasar

[Antonella]

Haha. Just now a nun responded to an email I sent her... in May. Too bad that promptness isn't a virtue so that people would try and work on it.

[Spem in alium]

3 hours ago, Antonella said:

Haha. Just now a nun responded to an email I sent her... in May. Too bad that promptness isn't a virtue so that people would try and work on it.

Promptness is an unwritten virtue  The same as efficiency, kindness, and the ability to make good coffee. 

@Amppax, you are in my prayer. Discernment can be a very anxious time. After I applied, I had to wait months for my application to be discussed and voted upon by the leadership council because some sisters were away. I am a fairly patient person, but it was a difficult time for me and did cause some anxiety. I can relate.

 

 

[Amppax]

Well I gave them a call. Naturally, the vocations director is out of town this weekend. Actually, given the order's apostolate, that makes a lot of sense. The person I talked to (I wasn't sure if it was another priest, or a brother, but they were definitely a member of the order), was very nice, and said that they would call me back soon. 

I also emailed another order whose charism and apostolate interest me. All in all, feeling a bit better about all of this. 

Thank you for your prayers and advice, everyone! I'll try to let you all know how things go. 

[Amppax]

In a case of shocking polar opposites, the vocations director for the community who I emailed this afternoon has already responded to my message!

[Sponsa-Christi]

@Amppax And I'm happy to note that in neither case were you eaten!

[Amppax]

21 hours ago, Sponsa-Christi said:

@Amppax And I'm happy to note that in neither case were you eaten!

This is quite true. 

To continue the string of rather fortuitous occurrences, a priest from the Congregation that I emailed last night said Mass today at my parish. It was quite a surprise, though not a complete shock. I talked to him after Mass and it was a very helpful conversation. 

[Amppax]

Going to a holy hour at my diocese seminary tonight where I will probably meet some of the brothers and talk again with the priest on (the one who said Mass Sunday) from one of the orders that interest me. A little bit nervous, it feels like a quasi-discernment sort of event. I'm also going to call the vocations director for this order and try to schedule a come and see visit later this fall.  I will pray for all the discerners on VS, please pray for me! 

[Amppax]

I talked to the vocations director for one of the orders I'm considering. It was unfortunately not the most promising of conversations. 

I've had differing struggles with anxiety and depression over the last couple of years, and I knew that this could be an impediment to moving forward in discernment. That being said, I had thought that now was a good time to start doing something, either visiting or contacting different orders. I'm out of school and have for the most part been pretty healthy.

However, as the vocations director and I were about to set up a come and see visit, he said that he had a couple of questions to ask. He asked if I was taking any medications for depression or anxiety, which I responded saying that I was. He said that for their order (and implied most likely for most other orders) that taking medication for such things is probably an impediment to joining, and therefore to moving forward in discernment. 

This was very discouraging to hear, as I was hoping that I could at least start the process of looking at this and other orders. I'm still going to try and contact some of the other orders that I have discerned, but I'm not confident much will come of that at this point. Please keep praying for me, because this certainly feels like a big setback. 

*Edit: I just wanted to add, the vocations director was very kind about it. He said that he'd be praying for me and that he hoped we could talk in the future if I was in a position where I had my depression managed without medication. I'm just not sure if that is something that will be a reality for me, which makes this so discouraging.

Edited September 27, 2016 by Amppax
Added information.

[krissylou]

You (and others) may be interested in this article.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/pastors/2011/june-online-only/bipolarpriest.html

It comes from an Evangelical Protestant magazine but the author of this article is a Roman Catholic diocesean priest.

[Pax17]

Amppax, I'm sorry you had such a disappointing experience.  There have been many threads here about pursuing religious life while coping with various medical conditions and medications.  I think you'll find that prior posts emphasize it depends on the specific order and your personal circumstances.  Do not give up hope.  And keep taking your meds...:)

[Pax_et bonum]

There are definitely communities that accept people on medication for depression and anxiety, so please don't be too discouraged. 

On the other hand, you might need to wait a while longer until you can test your ability to live a healthy life without meds, then go back to discerning with communities. 

Either way, I would keep trying. Don't contact every community seeing if they accept people on meds, obviously, but don't be afraid to bring it up with a community you're attracted to. Be super honest about what's going on, and maybe you'll be able to "challenge" in a way their beliefs about depression and anxiety. And I'm beginning to believe that meds really aren't that much of a financial burden on a community. They have to send their members to doctors whether they're healthy or not, and when a professed member gets sick, it's not like they're kicked out of the community. It's about being healthy. If you can show a community that you are healthy on meds, then there really shouldn't be any problem of them accepting you. 

I'll pray for you. I know how difficult this is first hand. Pray for me too please. 

[Amppax]

Thanks, everyone. I wrote that post a couple of minutes after getting off the phone. I'm feeling much better about the situation now, in a lot of ways I think it is a good opportunity for me. In my mind, I was rushing through this process, probably too quickly. I was thinking ahead WAY too much. I let myself imagine an unrealistic timeline and then allowed myself to be really disappointed when I was gently corrected in my thinking. 

[Quasar]

I'm glad you're feeling better now. I would like to add that sometime communities are wrong about what other communities do and don't accept.  I was told by a cloistered community I contacted that they couldn't accept someone with my dietary restrictions.  She made it sound as if she had never heard of such a thing being accommodated by a community, so I gave up on discerning for a little while.  Since then, I have found that she was mistaken and I'm in conversation with a community that already has a sister with my restriction.  I think she was well-meaning, but she didn't have correct information.  I hope you have the same experience.

Edited September 27, 2016 by Quasar