Pestering Predicaments

[Crucesignata]

Salvete omnes!

So because of medical reasons, I've been turned away from several communities.  However, there is a particular community that I have always felt right at home in when I have visited it in the past.  It's a fairly large order.  I've inquired about entrance, but was told that it would be inconvenient, but that I should, "wait a bit, pray about it, and maybe we'll see."  That was three years ago.

I've been back once for a retreat last year, but I never had the opportunity to speak with the vocations director.  I'm still drawn very strongly to the order, but there have been another couple orders that recently came "on the discernment radar."  But they just don't fit as well as this order does.

I would really love to have a more definite answer about whether or not I can still discern with them.  I guess I'm just feeling a little awkward about how to start up the conversation again.  I don't want to bug them or anything, but I just don't know what else to do.

Any suggestions how I might contact them again?

 

Pax et Bonum,

Crucesignata

 

[Guest]

No advice since I am not discerning nor can think of anything helpful, but will keep you and your intentions in prayer.

[Luigi]

By my definition, asking again after three years does not constitute "bugging." It fact, it seems a good deal more than "a bit." 

 

I note your Dominican avatar - either Dominic or Thomas? You need to think like Antoninus - when he applied at the convent in Fiesole, they told him "Go away, kid." But he came back and asked again.  They told him, "Later." When he came back later, they rolled their eyes and, to put him off, gave him a great big book to memorize (or read & understand). So he did. So they finally accepted him. Which is good, because he went on to become the bishop of Florence, he commissioned Fra Angelico to paint some walls with frescoes, and he had a few other accomplishments in the order and the Church. 

 

And if the religious in your order take new names, consider requesting Antoninus.

[Sister Leticia]

You wouldn't be the first enquirer/discerner to get back in touch after a gap - it happens for all sorts of reasons. Enquirers come, enquirers go.. and sometimes they come back again!

The community didn't say "no, absolutely not, never", they said "wait", and that's what you've done. And presumably having asked you to wait, they'd expect to hear from you again, one way or another. So just get back in touch, whether by email, phone or letter (whatever form worked best 3 years ago). If there's been a change and you're contacting a new VD/NM/superior then you may need to introduce yourself briefly just so they know who you are and the context of your enquiry, but keep it simple - you're just initiating a new conversation.

Blessings and good luck!

[TheresaThoma]

I would say that you definitely would not be pestering them by re-opening the conversation. Get back in touch, share a bit of your journey to refresh their memory and see how it goes from there.

I also have a medical condition and honestly being able to say I am "medically stable" for multiple years changes the conversation. I would guess that in the past three years that you have more information about your condition, even if it is just, "I haven't had to go through any major changes in treatment" and that can be helpful for a community.

[nikita92]

Dont worry about "Bugging them"!! 

Communities are use to (or should be use to)  every possible situation imaginable! If they dont get enquiries....they wouldnt really have any interested discerners...enter their order! 

Go for it!!! What do you have to lose? Good luck!;)