Honesty

[Amor vincit omnia]

2 hours ago, franciscanheart said:

Hey. Welcome back.

Thanks francisheart! 

1 hour ago, Josh said:

Hey welcome back. You and I are both in mortal sin and need to go to Confession asap. I will pray for you please pray for me. God bless.

You have my prayers Josh! Hope I can count on yours!

1 hour ago, dUSt said:

How did y'all form an offspring?

we formed an offspring with love and it was a long process but let me tell you so worth it and can't wait to do it again! 

57 minutes ago, Anomaly said:

One doesn't need to share dna to be the parent, said Joseph.  

Very true 

[dUSt]

1 hour ago, Amor vincit omnia said:

we formed an offspring with love and it was a long process but let me tell you so worth it and can't wait to do it again! 

I've always been fascinated by this. Generally speaking (so as not to pry too personally), how much is know about the male DNA in these kind of situations? Is the male counterpart generally known? Related? A friend? Anonymous?

Will the offspring know the biological father, or just get an anonymous medical history? Or nothing?

I'm genuinely curious.

 

 

[franciscanheart]

12 minutes ago, dUSt said:

I've always been fascinated by this. Generally speaking (so as not to pry too personally), how much is know about the male DNA in these kind of situations? Is the male counterpart generally known? Related? A friend? Anonymous?

Will the offspring know the biological father, or just get an anonymous medical history? Or nothing?

I'm genuinely curious.

The answers to all of these questions vary from couple to couple. Knowing many couples -- gay and straight -- who have used a sperm donor through a sperm clinic, SO MUCH is known. I would dare say the mamas and papas who have babies thanks to sperm donors often know more about their donor than you might have known about your wife when you made your first baby.

[Maggyie]

It even depends on where the baby is conceived. In Great Britain for instance it is legally required that the baby can get the donor's name and info at age 18. (Other than private off the books arrangements of course). 

[dUSt]

24 minutes ago, franciscanheart said:

 I would dare say the mamas and papas who have babies thanks to sperm donors often know more about their donor than you might have known about your wife when you made your first baby.

Well, this isn't saying much. All I knew was she was black and her name was too hard to pronounce.

Would the non-biological mother's brothers ever be used? So, like, you know, the non-biological mother would kinda share the same DNA as the kid? Then the kid could have a daduncle.

[franciscanheart]

1 hour ago, dUSt said:

Well, this isn't saying much. All I knew was she was black and her name was too hard to pronounce.

Would the non-biological mother's brothers ever be used? So, like, you know, the non-biological mother would kinda share the same DNA as the kid? Then the kid could have a daduncle.

I imagine that's happened before, yes.

[Amor vincit omnia]

3 hours ago, dUSt said:

I've always been fascinated by this. Generally speaking (so as not to pry too personally), how much is know about the male DNA in these kind of situations? Is the male counterpart generally known? Related? A friend? Anonymous?

Will the offspring know the biological father, or just get an anonymous medical history? Or nothing?

I'm genuinely curious.

 

 

Dust

 

Our donor is not a friend, a family member or anyone we know. He is anonymous and we picked him out because of his traits, appearances were similar to those of my wife and he made sense for us. We paid for Genetic testing for both my son and donor to have done. I have all the medical history of our donor and of course some pictures of him when he was a child. Our son can contact him when he turns 18 if he decides too.

 

 

[dUSt]

Weird!

[Amor vincit omnia]

9 hours ago, dUSt said:

Weird!

VERY!

[Nihil Obstat]

Well, I guess I can be the one to stir things up a bit. 

Do you believe that the Church agrees with and/or supports how you have chosen to live, or do you believe that Church teaching on this matter is wrong?

[Metalhead]

Hello Amor, I am a phatmasser from back in the day and I remember you. Thank you for deciding now to be honest, since at some point you allowed yourself to get a church militant tag, despite the fact you defy church teaching with your life. Unless that the meaning of that has changed that was a mistake for you. i understand not telling the internet you have chosen a gay lifestyle because of privacy, but an honest person would have found a way to decline that honor even without revealing why. But I wish you good luck to you in your new life as an honest person, because admitting your lie does take guts.

regarding your child, that is a cruel thing you did.  There are lots of kids that have lost bio family or can't be raised by their bio family for one reason or another. Instead of choosing one of them you on purpose brought a kid into existence with the goal of taking them from their bio family. Shame on you for that. That is way worse than gay sex that is not even in the same level of sin as gay sex in my opinion. That is a cruel thing gay people do, so that they can have a cute little baby that has some of their DNA. Being gay has lots of hard facts, one of them is you cannot naturally have bio kids with the person you are with. That does not mean you can then go out and do something so cruel. And you said you cannot wait to do it again. Shame on you. Whatever religion you are now, it doesn't matter whether you believe in gay sex or not. Doing that to kids should get you prison time. Just so you know, it is nothing to do with you being gay. Straight people do it too. It don't matter --- its messed up. 

Not being harsh on you to be harsh on you but to hopefully give you some doubt and some shame. Shame and self-doubt are lacking in society today but they save me many times, hope they will you too.

 

[franciscanheart]

37 minutes ago, Metalhead said:

Hello Amor, I am a phatmasser from back in the day and I remember you. Thank you for deciding now to be honest, since at some point you allowed yourself to get a church militant tag, despite the fact you defy church teaching with your life. Unless that the meaning of that has changed that was a mistake for you. i understand not telling the internet you have chosen a gay lifestyle because of privacy, but an honest person would have found a way to decline that honor even without revealing why. But I wish you good luck to you in your new life as an honest person, because admitting your lie does take guts.

regarding your child, that is a cruel thing you did.  There are lots of kids that have lost bio family or can't be raised by their bio family for one reason or another. Instead of choosing one of them you on purpose brought a kid into existence with the goal of taking them from their bio family. Shame on you for that. That is way worse than gay sex that is not even in the same level of sin as gay sex in my opinion. That is a cruel thing gay people do, so that they can have a cute little baby that has some of their DNA. Being gay has lots of hard facts, one of them is you cannot naturally have bio kids with the person you are with. That does not mean you can then go out and do something so cruel. And you said you cannot wait to do it again. Shame on you. Whatever religion you are now, it doesn't matter whether you believe in gay sex or not. Doing that to kids should get you prison time. Just so you know, it is nothing to do with you being gay. Straight people do it too. It don't matter --- its messed up. 

Not being harsh on you to be harsh on you but to hopefully give you some doubt and some shame. Shame and self-doubt are lacking in society today but they save me many times, hope they will you too.

What compassion and charity you possess!

[Era Might]

Thread goes off the rails in 5, 4, 3...

Welcome back to Phatmass.

[Metalhead]

3 hours ago, franciscanheart said:

What compassion and charity you possess!

i have little compassion for people that mess with kids. although anyone who does a sin,  and regrets and does not want to do it again - christians have to show them compassion, even if there sin is messing with kids.  But  people who cannot wait to do it again,  I have very limited compassion for that.

it doesn't have to do with religion.  even atheists can realize that its wrong to mess around with with kids that way, just because you got the drive to procreate and the way you like to have sex won't let you. But maybe if she did not know it was cruel now she does and she will not do it again. Who knows. Kids deserve to grow up with their dad and mom that made them. taking it away on purpose cuz you want to procreate is cruel. the end. i have done evil myself, i have contributed to an abortion. not my money but I did not try to dissuade. so the blood is on my hands as well. I did not realize it is cruel at the time, now I know and I never want to be cruel to kids again.

I understand wanting sex how you want it. sex is hard for anyone to resist, gay or not. marriage is so good no doubt people want it gay or not.  I don't get messing with kids and it is hard for me to have compassion. if its easy for you to have compassion for people that mess with kids and aren't regretting, good for you.

[beatitude]

1 hour ago, Metalhead said:

Not being harsh on you to be harsh on you but to hopefully give you some doubt and some shame. Shame and self-doubt are lacking in society today but they save me many times, hope they will you too.

 

Is it shame that prevents you from posting this under your original username? You also seem to be implying that this is your first visit in ages, by writing as though you left before franciscanheart got her new screenname. I know who you are and I think others will be able to guess just based on the view you're expressing here. Why not stand behind it with the name you've always had? Is this really about wanting to 'save' someone, or more a chance to give your views on this an airing anonymously?

Whether it's one or the other or a bit of both, it's unlikely to be helpful. I think Amor vincit omnia will be aware that she is no longer living as an orthodox Catholic. Maybe she's managed to reconcile herself to that somehow, or maybe she lives with dissonance - I don't know because she hasn't said. What I do know is that there has been a lot of shame directed at gay people for a long time, and it doesn't seem to have done a terrific job of helping them to stay faithful. I'm not sure it helps anyone to stay faithful.

I pray the rosary for Catholic friends who are struggling to live an orthodox life. I took a detour from orthodoxy at one point, and it wasn't shame that got me back. (Penitence, yes, but it's different.) It was an awareness that God is better than what I had. To understand that I had to hit rock bottom, much like the prodigal son. If friends had tried to point out that I was going wrong I don't think I would have listened, because when you've got into the habit of ignoring/appeasing your own conscience it's not so difficult to ignore other people. But throughout my unscheduled detour, I never stopped praying the rosary, even though I felt weird inside over living something different from what I professed in the creed. I just understood on some level that Mary understood. She never let go of the other end of the rosary, and she brought me back. Once I was sorry, the Divine Office also helped: I prayed the psalms as I'd never prayed them before. I was reminded of two things - St Teresa of Avila's statement that you can learn a lot from having been astray, and Bl. Oscar Romero's comment that some things can only be seen through eyes that have cried.

There are some circumstances in which I would judge it appropriate to speak to a friend who has gone off the rails, but those are rare, because if they're already fully aware of Church teaching it's so easy to do more harm than good. But you can never do harm by prayer, and just by living by example. We should also trust in God. When I confessed, I was with the priest for well over half an hour, and he was incredibly insightful and kind-hearted. I think God put him in my path on purpose. This made me realise that when the Good Shepherd goes out looking for lost sheep, he always knows in exactly what place and at what time he's going to find them. As Bl. John Henry Newman used to say, "He knows what he's about."