Excommunicate Pant-wearing Female Altar Serving Yoga Instructors

[PhuturePriest]

We're 5 months in without a major drama thread. Consequently, it has been very boring.

I am here to fix this.

This is a list of all the new actions/things which should result in formal excommunication:

Female altar servers
Practicing yoga
Wearing pantaloons
Skirts higher than the mid-point of calves
Make-up
Looking at anything other than a woman's eyes
Hugging before marriage (0.3 second Christian side-hugs performed without eye contact are acceptable under strict supervision and a stop watch)
Not using incense as your car freshner
Smiling during Mass
Telling a joke during a homily
A priest expressing any kind of joy whatsoever, especially during Mass
Playing Marty Haugen's music at Mass
Liking Marty Haugen's music
Being Marty Haugen

Discuss. Debate. Rip each other's hair out. Add to the list, should you so desire to fan the flames of glorious chaos.

[Guest]

Female Yoga pantaloons Yes Please (Just Not At Mass)

[PhuturePriest]

 

9 minutes ago, Josh said:

Female Yoga pantaloons Yes Please (Just Not At Mass)

Did you just imply that you want women to wear skin-tight clothing because you enjoy ogling at them, or was the message somehow lost in translation?

Edited May 22, 2016 by PhuturePriest

[Gabriela]

I was thinking of starting some drama myself just last night, only because it's been so painfully boring round here for so long. Problem is, if you start a thread JUST to start drama, everyone goes "Meh" and ignores it.

Phatmassers. 

[PhuturePriest]

1 minute ago, Gabriela said:

I was thinking of starting some drama myself just last night, only because it's been so painfully boring round here for so long. Problem is, if you start a thread JUST to start drama, everyone goes "Meh" and ignores it.

Phatmassers. 

Hold that thought.

[Guest]

 

 

Just now, PhuturePriest said:

 

Did you just imply that you want women to wear skin-tight clothing because you enjoy ogling at them, or was the message somehow lost in translation?

 

Edited May 22, 2016 by Guest

[PhuturePriest]

1 minute ago, Josh said:

I

 

 

"Female yoga pants yes please (Just not at Mass)." I don't know how else to interpret that, but I am open to being illuminated. The first sentence in and of itself could have been interpreted as saying you want it to be a formal excommunication, but the parentheses muddle that interpretation.

[Guest]

[DominicanHeart]

Sounds like the Duggar family.

[Guest]

Or the rad trads I see on facebook.

[CatherineM]

I like Marty Haugen. 

[He is Risen!]

How about ladies wearing leggings as pantaloons, especially when they are light tan colored.  I always do a double take when I see that one!

[Gabriela]

Babies and small children shouldn't be allowed at Mass unless they've been knocked out with liquor or Nyquil.

[PhuturePriest]

51 minutes ago, CatherineM said:

I like Marty Haugen. 

Unsurprising, given your dislike of Thomas Aquinas.

[truthfinder]

1 hour ago, He is Risen! said:

How about ladies wearing leggings as pantaloons, especially when they are light tan colored.  I always do a double take when I see that one!

Once saw a man just about walk straight into a door because he was averting his eyes from a woman wearing similar leggings - actually they weren't even leggings, just thick 'winter' tights.