Falling into the same sin

[Aragon]

Has anyone ever struggled with a mortal sin that they fall into repeatedly? I can only ever seem to go a few days without falling into a particular sin I struggle with. Every Saturday I'm confessing the same thing, and it also means that I'm sadly spending much of the week not in a state of grace and feeling down until I can get to confession on the weekend.

I know that culpability may be lessened due to habituation or addiction, but even if it's helpful to keep that in mind it doesn't make it any easier.

Ideas? Experiences?

[MIKolbe]

After lamenting much of what you are lamenting...a priest asked me if I wanted to branch off into new areas of sinfulness.  It helped to give me perspective and focus.

 

[BarbTherese]

I certainly know the "same old same old" repetition in Confession, seemingly getting nowhere at all and continually.  Have you thought about seeking a spiritual director?  You just might need guidance and support to get a different perspective on where you are at - a different attitude and focus as jcorsetti pointed out.  A new direction - and probably a journey rather than an event - hence a spiritual director.

Feelings potentially can be a truly lousy guide on the spiritual way.

If habit and addiction are a factor in your situation and it is a point of grave matter in nature, then the potential only possibility only is that you are not in mortal sin - but in the state of Grace and able to go to Holy Communion prior to Confession.  But you need a priest to guide you and advise you in this matter - a wise and educated spiritual director.........and preferably a holy one and that might take a few sessions to discern if you do not know the priest.

Remember that grave matter is not mortal sin without the other two conditions of full knowledge and complete consent. 

But there is nothing to be presumed in any of the above in your own situation, rather wise advise sought and taken up.  Discussion sites such as Phatmass here can be a great support and valuable source of information to mention two positives...........it can also in potential be a source of confusion in conflicting advice and opinions being shared and simply often the nature of internet discussion sites including those that are largely Catholic.

Prayer for you and please keep me in yours.

[Peace]

Are we talking about chastity here? I am guessing that 95 percent of men struggle with that. I do.

Or I would bet that 90 percent of people struggle with something.

At least for me, you just have to say a firm "no" and reject the bad thought as soon as it enters your head. Once you start thinking about it, you are almost guaranteed to be on your way back to confession. The devil is way smarter than us and will talk you into it if you give him any opening.

Anyway. Don't beat yourself up over it too much. Repent and keep trying to do good. And remember - without God you can do nothing. As long as you try to overcome it yourself you are doomed. But if you ask for God's assistance you can do it. 

Just my opinion of course.

[PhuturePriest]

"Be patient with everyone but especially with yourself; I mean that you should not be troubled about your imperfections and that you should always have courage to pick yourself up afterwards. There is no better way of getting there in the end in the spiritual life than always starting all over again and never thinking that you have done enough." -- Saint Francis de Salles

Habitual sin doesn't become habitual overnight, and it's not rooted out overnight, either. If you want to privately message me, I know tons of resources I could give you, depending what the sin is. But in general, just keep trying, and keep confessing for as long as it takes. The Father never tires of forgiving us, so we should never tire of asking for it so long as we need to.

[BarbTherese]

Good post, PP, and excellent quote from St Francis de Sales.  Confessing the same sin or sins over and over again can/might be humiliating and discouraging.........but :

5 minutes ago, PhuturePriest said:

But in general, just keep trying, and keep confessing for as long as it takes. The Father never tires of forgiving us, so we should never tire of asking for it so long as we need to.

If I persevere in confessing the same old same old, despite my humiliation and discouragement, I will be learning those opposing virtues of humility and courage (fortitude) along with trust and confidence in God and His Loving Mercy.   St Augustine tells us that "humility is the foundation of all virtue" and courage or fortitude (one of the 7Gifts of The Holy Spirit at Confirmation) is needed lifelong to meet those trials and sufferings that come along.  It is the theological virtue of Faith (at Baptism) that infuses trust and confidence in God along with all we do know about Him.

It is those that do continually go to Confession with the same old same old that are proclaiming/witnessing to the untiring and endless loving Mercy of God - His Forgiving and Forgetting -  in The Confessional.

[Gabriela]

We've seen plenty of threads about this on PM, Aragon, so you are definitely not alone! I am praying for you...

[Ark]

19 hours ago, Aragon said:

Has anyone ever struggled with a mortal sin that they fall into repeatedly? I can only ever seem to go a few days without falling into a particular sin I struggle with. Every Saturday I'm confessing the same thing, and it also means that I'm sadly spending much of the week not in a state of grace and feeling down until I can get to confession on the weekend.

I know that culpability may be lessened due to habituation or addiction, but even if it's helpful to keep that in mind it doesn't make it any easier.

Ideas? Experiences?

Well brother, I'll explain this from my experience, and it's best to think of this as an addiction. If you want to stop but feel like you can't then you're in this category, but don't fret, many of us deal with it and it's perfectly treatable. I would say the most common addictant is the brain chemical dopamine and the means of its acquisition what the old manuals referred to as self abuse. 

So if you agree that this has the charecteristic of an addiction it helps to understand this further. First, addictions are self sustaining. It's deeper than a person liking alcohol or pleasure. There usually is a deeper need, or something the person is escaping from, whether that be sadness, depression, or anxiety. Anything that relieves anxiety or depression can become an addictant. Thus, even goodness that comes from eating and feeling full can become an addiction. So instead of thinking, how can I stop this sin I keep doing, you should start looking within and start asking if there is anything in you that this might be fulfilling. An insecurity, an anxiety, some unhappiness. You may find that addressing those deeper issues will ultimately help you with this habitual sin, because the sin is actually the symptom and not the disease.

This is why the structure of your thinking locks you into this sin. There is a deeper need that triggers you to sin, consequentially you feel bad and beat yourself up over it, unbeknownst to you this negativity feeds the deeper longing which triggers you towards more sin. And thus the addiction cycle. This is why addressing habitual sin is different from solitary sin. You obviously know what you are doing is a sin, that's not the problem. What you need to focus on is Gods mercy and love for you. Even despite your sin, the lord loves you. Every attempt you make yo return to him, even if it be one step and then you fall back, is great to him. It's very important that you don't lose hope or faith in gods love. Furthermore, it's important you don't over exaggerate your sin. If it is self abuse, it ok, it's probably the most common sin Catholics fall to. You feel the guilt, and that is good, but don't dwell on it. Again, besting yourself up more can contribute to the problem. It's an issue, you're working on it, that's all. 

Now someone who does not have habitual sin may read what I wrote and think I, excusing sin, or that I'm saying guilt is bad. This is not the case. People with habitual sin tend to overemphasize guilt rather than lack it. Toning down the guilt is actually returning to a healthy, balanced level of guilt in such cases.

with all this in mind, sin no more. But if you fall, know that God loves you and has the sacraments available for you.

[Guest]

My Confessions have sounded the same for quite awhile. Except lately missing Mass hasn't been one of them. I've actually been going every week for awhile now and I don't plan to stop. I actually find it fulfilling and it doesn't feel like an "obligation". I want to be there sitting in the back pew and praying for God to forgive me a miserable sinner. The other sins I confess are still coming up though. And there really bad. This last Confession (3 to 4 weeks ago) I really wanted to do good after being absolved. I got forgiven on a Saturday and took the Eucharist Sunday. I won't tell you how long I remained in a state of grace but it's pathetic. Fast forward to right now and I have a whole bunch more to confess and need to do it asap. I was actually reading threads on Catholic Answers last night if I should even go. Because I feel like I don't deserve to go. God has forgiven me so many times and here I am once again in need of more forgiveness. But after reading a few threads the point was real clear that as long as when I confessed last time I had at least imperfect contrition and in my heart was going to make an attempt not to repeat my sins then I was truly forgiven. So yeah. I will be going back to Confession again because I can feel the ugliness of my sin on my soul right now. Not being dramatic but I really can feel the filth. It was advised in another thread I go to the same Priest but I won't be able to do that. I don't have it in me. Prayers.

Edited April 21, 2016 by Guest

[beatitude]

To paraphrase the unknown author of the medieval text The Cloud of Unknowing, "With his merciful eyes, God does not see what you are, nor what you have been, but what you would be."

He looks at what we aspire to be, and he knows better than us how good that is, and he is much more forgiving of our weaknesses than we are. I really struggle with impatience and short temper, and every confession I repeat these sins, and possibly I will be relaying them on my deathbed confession too. In which case I will say to everyone left around me afterwards, "No one say a word, not when I have such an opportunity to be patient and good-tempered for all of five seconds/the rest of my life!"

I think it helps to keep a sense of humour about our weaknesses, and to remember that even though we are not perfect, we are further on than we were yesterday. Remember that St Augustine particularly struggled with chastity, and he used to pray, "Lord, make me chaste, but not yet." This applies to anything we  struggle to give up. I'm not suggesting that we should all postpone trying to be Christians while we have what we think is fun, just pointing out that wanting to be different is the first step, and that alone is enough for God's grace to act. Don't worry too much about how long it takes. That's his business, and he's beyond time, so I try not to apply my conceptions of time to God. All we have to do is get up after our many falls and keep walking, and it sounds as though you're doing just that. So don't fret about progress.

Getting back up doesn't just mean going to confession and nothing else. It's very easy to slide into scrupulosity and unhealthy guilt if you have an all-or-nothing approach and think that if you slip up in between confessions, everything is ruined until you can get to confession again. If you slip up, tell God, "I've landed on my backside again, but I am going to do my very best with the rest of this week/this day/this hour that you've given me." Take it a day at a time, an hour at a time, or a minute at a time as you need to, and make spaces in your day for regular prayer - just sitting with God and knowing that he loves us and wants what is best. Don't focus on your sin, focus on him. I find it helps to have a story from the Bible, a different one each week, that I think about and meditate on - a few minutes here and a few minutes there, snatches of time on the bus and before sleep. You can talk to Jesus about what you see in that story, ask the saints who appear in it to pray for you, and let it permeate your week.

[Gabriela]

BarbaraTherese, in a different thread, just quoted Fr. James Martin: "Saints are just sinners who never gave up."

Remember, too, that despair is also a sin—one often sent straight from the devil himself. So, as beatitude says, don't fret too much over your falling again and again. God forgives again and again, and that is something to be joyful about.  

[vee]

Join the Angelic Warfare Confraternity http://www.angelicwarfareconfraternity.org/\ or Aqunias' prayer for purity.

or adopt parts of their practices informally such as the fifteen Hail Marys a day for purity, or the prayer to Aquinas for purity etc.

 

[Seven77]

 Embrace your weakness and acknowledge your need for God's grace and mercy… Divine Mercy is inexhaustible. Your weakness makes God run to you. 

[BarbTherese]

19 hours ago, Gabriela said:

BarbaraTherese, in a different thread, just quoted Fr. James Martin: "Saints are just sinners who never gave up."

Remember, too, that despair is also a sin—one often sent straight from the devil himself. So, as beatitude says, don't fret too much over your falling again and again. God forgives again and again, and that is something to be joyful about.  

I think too that continually falling and getting up again and going on and with determination in trustful confidence no matter the fall nor how often could be said to be an act in praise of (and witnessing to)The Father's Grace, Love and Mercy.  Somewhere else in another thread, someone stated that it is no good really having virtues as it were in the head only, we need to live them out, enact them, and it reminded me of living in praise of The Father's Grace, Love and Mercy in the face of one's sinfulness, faults and failings.

[Ice_nine]

20 hours ago, Gabriela said:

 that despair is also a sin—

oh great, how comforting