Going beyond the bare minimum especially on Fridays

[Gabriela]

18 minutes ago, Spem in alium said:

You make good points. I think it's good to fast, if you have the right intention, but it's also important to be open and flexible as much as possible. When I've visited my family since living at the convent, they've sometimes cooked meat on Wednesday or Friday and I've had to eat --- though my mother was incredibly kind and actually cooked me fish individually on the Friday I arrived home for my longer visit, even though the rest of the family ate meat. And sometimes you visit someone and they serve only meat, and I feel in that situation it's uncharitable and far worse to refuse than to break your fast.

I agree completely. Usually the times I break the abstinence are when I'm with family. It seems wrong to refuse, even though I do always consider, "Would refusing be a witness to the Faith?" I think it could be a positive witness with some people, but with others, it would just be viewed as holier than thou. And you know what they say about prophets in their hometowns...  

[Spem in alium]

3 hours ago, Gabriela said:

I agree completely. Usually the times I break the abstinence are when I'm with family. It seems wrong to refuse, even though I do always consider, "Would refusing be a witness to the Faith?" I think it could be a positive witness with some people, but with others, it would just be viewed as holier than thou. And you know what they say about prophets in their hometowns...  

It's certainly important to be mindful of our witness, but breaking abstinence when there is no other option or when others are offering us something out of generosity or kindness can in my view be an act of charity. Intention is the most important - God knows intimately the movements of our heart. If we intend to abstain from something, but then are placed in the situation in which it would actually glorify and witness to God and help others more to break abstinence, then I think it's important to consider our actions. In a similar vein, while with my family I visited my aunt and uncle for several days. They don't know that I abstain, and on the Friday I was there we had a celebration with a few families. They cooked meat, which I ate. For me that was most appropriate -- there was no other food on the table, so by refusing I would have been refusing dinner, perhaps worrying or embarrassing my family, and having to communicate to others that I fast (which would, in my case, definitely lead to a sense of pride - a vice I struggle with). 

[Gabriela]

1 hour ago, Spem in alium said:

It's certainly important to be mindful of our witness, but breaking abstinence when there is no other option or when others are offering us something out of generosity or kindness can in my view be an act of charity. Intention is the most important - God knows intimately the movements of our heart. If we intend to abstain from something, but then are placed in the situation in which it would actually glorify and witness to God and help others more to break abstinence, then I think it's important to consider our actions. In a similar vein, while with my family I visited my aunt and uncle for several days. They don't know that I abstain, and on the Friday I was there we had a celebration with a few families. They cooked meat, which I ate. For me that was most appropriate -- there was no other food on the table, so by refusing I would have been refusing dinner, perhaps worrying or embarrassing my family, and having to communicate to others that I fast (which would, in my case, definitely lead to a sense of pride - a vice I struggle with). 

True. I have often had to remind myself that receiving hospitality is not intrinsically selfish or greedy or burdensome to others; by receiving it, we give them opportunity to be generous, which is virtuous for them and charitable for us.

In order to do good, one must have opportunity to do it!

Edited April 10, 2016 by Gabriela

[Ash Wednesday]

In England, they reinstated the Friday abstinence all year, and I'm glad they did. I was terrible about doing "alternate penance" -- I don't know if they wanted to offer some flexibility and freedom or what, but it didn't work well in practice.