veritasluxmea Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 Happy Feast of St Joseph! I am happy to announce that I have applied for entrance with the Nashville Dominicans! As happy as I am about making this step, as much as I feel a peace that I'm making the right decision, I have to admit I was a little cautious about being public with the discernment. I have felt called to religious life since I was seventeen and I've known this order and visited them regularly for over a year. I've visited other orders but I just feel at home with these sisters and can't imagine myself anywhere else. I've been living on my own for a while, college was going well although a month ago I put my enrollment on hold and mostly work now to afford entrance and avoid debt. Long story short, after spending time in discernment with them I decided to move forward and apply. Even so, I wanted to be sure I was making the right decision. I was afraid that it wouldn't work out, that I'd be called elsewhere, that something would happen. You never know. Sometimes I feel I know more about entering and leaving than actually staying and persevering! Leaving religious life is hard, even if it's for the right reasons. And even just discerning and then deciding it's not for you is an adjustment. People talk. Recently a women returned to our parish after having been in religious life for a number of years (she did leave for the right reason), but it was still a bit of a topic. I feel very uncomfortable with the thought of being treated like that, of being thought a failure. I know my heart and the decisions I make, but there's no way I can share or prove that with others. So I was cautious. But in the end, I realized I don't regret this at all. Even if I stopped discerning today, I don't regret any of the retreats I've made, the experiences I've had, the people I've come to know. I am a better person for taking the time to try and follow the Lord as best I can. It's really come to shape my life and form me into a better Catholic, a better person. I trust the sisters. I know I have made the best decisions I can. I think if it doesn't work out- that will be hard, but it will be ok. I truly believe the Lord has called me this far and if it's His will, He will bring it to fulfillment... and if He calls me to something else, how could that possibly be a bad thing? I have learned to trust that He is with me, in everything I go through. I am so happy I have this opportunity. I feel more drawn into myself, to be still, to be with Him. Whatever happens, I know He is happy with my efforts and will always love me as His bride, however He chooses to manifest that in my life. I truly hope it is His will that I can be a visible witness to His love, that I can live in this community for the rest of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 This is so wonderful! You are never failing if you are following God's will for your life - and sometimes, following His will means giving up something or completely changing our way of life. God bless you! Know you're in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted March 19, 2016 Author Share Posted March 19, 2016 Thank you for the support Spem (or should I say Sr Spem? ) It means a lot to me. How have you been adjusting to postulancy? And I forgot to mention- They should receive the last of the paperwork by Tuesday, and I could hear back from them as early as Easter Monday but probably no later than April 10th. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 3 hours ago, veritasluxmea said: Thank you for the support Spem (or should I say Sr Spem? ) It means a lot to me. How have you been adjusting to postulancy? And I forgot to mention- They should receive the last of the paperwork by Tuesday, and I could hear back from them as early as Easter Monday but probably no later than April 10th. I'm still so amazed. Some sisters have jumped straight in to calling me "Sr Spem", and hearing it is just like whoa! Some of them, like my formation director, just still call me by my name, but that's okay too. It feels amazing to now be a member of the congregation...to really belong to these sisters. I already felt as though I belonged before postulancy, which is part of the reason I applied to become a postulant in the first place, but there's something in it becoming official.... How do you feel about having applied now? From memory, applying to my sisters called up a lot of emotions in me (not negative ones, but many...). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 5 hours ago, veritasluxmea said: Even so, I wanted to be sure I was making the right decision. I was afraid that it wouldn't work out, that I'd be called elsewhere, that something would happen. You never know. Sometimes I feel I know more about entering and leaving than actually staying and persevering! Leaving religious life is hard, even if it's for the right reasons. I think it might be very helpful for someone to initiate a thread about staying in religious life (joys, struggles, problems, the fun and funny etc.), rather than a thread about leaving the life? (while to enter and then leave is a potential and no disgrace at all). Leaving religious life is never easy (on both sides of the cloister) and it is a potential anywhere on the discernment road from discerning through to Final Vows. The Lord may want one in religious life for a limited period, living the lifestyle, for some reason that might be not at all connected directly to religious life per se. Who can fathom all the Ways and Reasons of The Lord? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DominicanHeart Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 God bless! I'm a little jealous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted March 20, 2016 Author Share Posted March 20, 2016 3 hours ago, BarbaraTherese said: I think it might be very helpful for someone to initiate a thread about staying in religious life (joys, struggles, problems, the fun and funny etc.), rather than a thread about leaving the life? (while to enter and then leave is a potential and no disgrace at all). Leaving religious life is never easy (on both sides of the cloister) and it is a potential anywhere on the discernment road from discerning through to Final Vows. The Lord may want one in religious life for a limited period, living the lifestyle, for some reason that might be not at all connected directly to religious life per se. Who can fathom all the Ways and Reasons of The Lord? Agreed, that would be a cool thread to read. To be fair I think most people in religious life are just quietly living out their lives, and in my life I've had very positive examples of perseverance in a vocation, probably more than unfaithfulness or trying circumstances. But worry and whatnot can often inflate little problems and make one forget anything else, lol. 5 hours ago, Spem in alium said: I'm still so amazed. Some sisters have jumped straight in to calling me "Sr Spem", and hearing it is just like whoa! Some of them, like my formation director, just still call me by my name, but that's okay too. It feels amazing to now be a member of the congregation...to really belong to these sisters. I already felt as though I belonged before postulancy, which is part of the reason I applied to become a postulant in the first place, but there's something in it becoming official.... How do you feel about having applied now? From memory, applying to my sisters called up a lot of emotions in me (not negative ones, but many...). I know exactly what you mean, especially about applying. When I started the application in January, I was just so happy.... I felt all sorts of positive emotions. Awe, gratitude, joy. After the "honeymoon" wore off it really stared to feel real- and it's hard to mentally grasp the adjustment. I think the times it felt most real was when I got fitted for the postulant outfit, when I had the psych exam, and when I finally mailed off the papers. Everyday I get off the bus and look over the water at the mountains and think to myself, One day I'll be looking at this for the last time. Or I'll be at work listening to my coworkers talk and I'll really listen and think of how I won't be seeing them anymore. I won't be getting a new apartment, I won't be finishing my degree, I won't be hanging around downtown anymore. I won't have this life anymore. I appreciate what I have here so much. It's not easy to leave. I'm nervous, but in a good way. But most of all in the quiet of my heart it feels right, I feel like I'm becoming more myself. So yeah, I know what you mean. I think it's something you have to experience firsthand. It's hard to explain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 3 hours ago, veritasluxmea said: I know exactly what you mean, especially about applying. When I started the application in January, I was just so happy.... I felt all sorts of positive emotions. Awe, gratitude, joy. After the "honeymoon" wore off it really stared to feel real- and it's hard to mentally grasp the adjustment. I think the times it felt most real was when I got fitted for the postulant outfit, when I had the psych exam, and when I finally mailed off the papers. Everyday I get off the bus and look over the water at the mountains and think to myself, One day I'll be looking at this for the last time. Or I'll be at work listening to my coworkers talk and I'll really listen and think of how I won't be seeing them anymore. I won't be getting a new apartment, I won't be finishing my degree, I won't be hanging around downtown anymore. I won't have this life anymore. I appreciate what I have here so much. It's not easy to leave. I'm nervous, but in a good way. But most of all in the quiet of my heart it feels right, I feel like I'm becoming more myself. So yeah, I know what you mean. I think it's something you have to experience firsthand. It's hard to explain. Oh boy, can I relate! These last few weeks have been such a honeymoon -- I've been just so in awe -- but yesterday, as I was receiving the symbols of postulancy, and as my sisters were greeting me and calling me "Sister", I was thinking, "Is this real?" Even today, I was writing something about my postulancy ceremony and my superior reminded me to sign it as "Sr Spem" with the letters of our congregation following my name. It's so overwhelming - I was looking at that and thinking, "Is this me?? Really??!!" I felt like I was in a daydream. It's so incredible. And when you said you feel like you're becoming more yourself - well, I can relate 100%. My relatives have said they've noticed a change in me -- that I've become more self-assured and confident in a way. And I've felt it in myself, too...like I'm being who I was meant to be. Changes can be very difficult, especially when they take us away from what's comfortable, but it's important to look for peace in the midst of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Catherine Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 Congratulations though I still have to say that I am very jealous to hear about it, even though I know I do not deserve to feel like this. You are so blessed and chosen, may you fill God's fill for your whole life and become a saint with the Dominican sisters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 (edited) This is lovely news..................many prayers for you as you prepare for your entrance. God Bless you. Edited March 22, 2016 by Jennifer misspelling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 prayers for you veritas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Prayers they are a beautiful community! I hope you hear back soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted March 25, 2016 Author Share Posted March 25, 2016 thank you for the prayers everyone! I heard back from them recently. They've received my part of the application and are just waiting on the last bit of paperwork to come in... and once that arrives, I should hear back from them within a week or so. So, prayers for that to come in safely and hopefully soon are appreciated. I'm not sure when I can expect it to come in, maybe within a week. I hope everyone is having a good Triduum, I'm praying for you all as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:o)Katherine:o) Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 So excited for you! Continued prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 Super exciting. Have a blessed Triduum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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