Missing Mass at Easter & on Sundays

[BarbTherese]

On the subject of missing Mass on Easter Sunday  - or attending Mass and a break to serious break resulting in one's family relationships because of a family gathering.  Just wanted to point out that many parishes have the beautiful celebration of Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday night (ours starts at 7pm), and then Mass of Easter Sunday in the morning of Easter Sunday.  We can attend either.....or both .........we are obliged, however, to only attend either one (Saturday Easter Vigil evening or Easter Sunday morning)..........and the likelihood of the family gathering on both Saturday night and Sunday morning would be extremely remote I would think.  The other option is to talk with a priest about one's situation and ask for a dispensation........... or attend Mass in another parish where the times may be more convenient.  I think that possibly a disruption or even a break altogether in family relationships could be a sufficient reason to ask for a dispensation, although I can understand real aversion to absolute refusal to asking for a dispensation from attending Mass on the greatest feast in Catholicism - celebrating The Resurrection of Jesus at Easter (every Sunday through the year we also celebrate The Resurrection).  It probably might depend on how seriously one's relationship with one's family is going to be affected if one does not attend a family gathering............if there is no other option for another Mass.  For the purposes of the thread, presuppose that there is no other option.

I think it is a truly wonderful matter and a witness to put one's Faith and witnessing to it before the most valued of relationships - and a kind of spiritual and emotional martyrdom even I think - but is this a necessity and an obligation? (i.e. to attend Mass and suffer the consequences to family relationships)

Looking forward to how this thread might develop with other members' thoughts.............and I think I have probably raised a few questions in the above.  Apologies for what is probably very clumsy wording. 

 

Edited March 13, 2016 by BarbaraTherese

[NadaTeTurbe]

Thank you for this thread Barbara Therese  
 
In my case, I'll attend Saturday Evening Vigil. Then, there's Sunday Easter Mass. I've volunteered on January to help at Easter Mass (altar serving and cleaning after mass). Told my mom. She obviously ignored it. I don't think my family relationship will be affected seriously. They'll be disappointed, but nothing more. The thing is, it's not the first time they ask me to miss important mass (while my brothers have missed many family meetings only because they wanted to be with their friends !), and I'm really tired of them not respecting my religious wishes. Maybe it's a little selfish from me. But Easter Mass is so important, happens once a year, while family meeting happens more often. 

[BarbTherese]

4 hours ago, NadaTeTurbe said:

Thank you for this thread Barbara Therese  
 
In my case, I'll attend Saturday Evening Vigil. Then, there's Sunday Easter Mass. I've volunteered on January to help at Easter Mass (altar serving and cleaning after mass). Told my mom. She obviously ignored it. I don't think my family relationship will be affected seriously. They'll be disappointed, but nothing more. The thing is, it's not the first time they ask me to miss important mass (while my brothers have missed many family meetings only because they wanted to be with their friends !), and I'm really tired of them not respecting my religious wishes. Maybe it's a little selfish from me. But Easter Mass is so important, happens once a year, while family meeting happens more often. 

I am glad you read this thread, Nada, and have shared what you have above. Very happy to read too that family relationships will not be seriously affected and that disappointment by the family is the likely only result.

Thank you so much.

Blessings this Holy Week and for Easter!

I have similar problems in that my family do not understand (some of them) my Catholicism and commitment to it, certainly not (underscored), my private vows.  While writing the Opening Post to this thread, it did occur to me that if family or friend(s) do not accept my Catholicism in some way, then they are rejecting what is really the whole of me (although they would not grasp that either probably) - and only agreeing to accept me on their terms alone.  I had this experience of rejection when my bipolar illness was very active and at that time, bipolar certainly seemed only to be the whole of me in that it was a daily struggle and battle.  That rejection only reverted to acceptance once bipolar was inactive (over 10 years now, probably more like 11yrs).  I had a lot of forgiving to do for the years of abandonment and by God's Grace alone, I did forgive after struggles with resentment and anger (journey).  It is nothing new at all where those suffering mental illness are concerned to have to grapple with rejection of some degree by those they love - on the other hand, some have wonderful families and friends indeed that are a constant support in all things regardless.

Especially in these days of scandals within Catholicism coming to light, we can probably expect - put it on the front burner, rejection and misunderstanding around us and directed at us.  This is not easy to accept without some level of resentment, even anger.  After all, those priests who criminally abused are in the minority by far and the majority of our priests are dedicated, committed and often quite holy men and these are very difficult days indeed for such priests - a type of spiritual and emotional martyrdom again.  Some people want to write off the whole of Catholicism because of the scandals.  I do tend to think that there was some anti-Catholicism anyway (for some) and prior to the scandals coming to light.  The scandals became the vehicle (for some) to hang their anti-Catholicism on and make it quite public and feel justified because of the scandals in making their resentments and angers a quite public matter to those around them, including Catholics.  Prayers for them and our priests, for ourselves too, and in these very difficult days we journey through.

To be rejected and to accept it without 'payback' of some kind is a kind of martyrdom in the spirit and emotional self.  Rejection by those we love and might depend on for some kind of support at times is deeply painful and for some it can even affect self esteem and I have had that struggle too.........and not alone in such an experience either.

Finally compassion and empathy.  Those who, sadly, are not gifted with our Catholic Faith, can find it absolutely impossible  to understand how one's Catholicism can be put before family.   If I try to put myself into their shoes  (empathise) I can insight their position - the position of those who do not understand the great gift and treasure that Catholicism is - the pearl of great price "Again the kingdom of heaven is like to a merchant seeking good pearls. Who when he had found one pearl of great price, went his way, and sold all that he had, and bought it." (Matthew Ch13)

..........and family and friends can be almost all that we really do have and vitally important to our journey ..............

 

There are many ways of leaving family and friends in order to follow Jesus, including our intention and perhaps experiences too of putting Jesus first........at cost.

..........a very difficult cost too at times when one is called to the secular and living out in the midst of the world in the general community .............

Edited March 14, 2016 by BarbaraTherese

[BarbTherese]

Finally - thank you for your post, @NadaTeTurbe.

Sitting outside under the pergola on a beautiful early autumn afternoon here in South AussieLand having a smoke (I do now and then ) and found that I was giving thanks for you for being a witness and sharing what you have with us in your posts - a channel of The Holy Spirit and a powerful witness, which led to my own reflections (ciggy in hand) on how and when I might be called to put Jesus before all else in my own journey and at cost if necessary.

Thanks heaps!

We just never know what good we are doing or have done and very often will not know until Heaven simply by being what one is and a follower of Jesus at all times in all circumstances - just going about whatever one is going about without any particular conscious agenda at all.  "Preach The Gospel at all times..........use words only if necessary" paraphrased & based on quotation sometimes attributed to St Francis of Assisi.

Interesting article on quotation sometimes attributed to St Francis

[Spem in alium]

12 hours ago, NadaTeTurbe said:

Thank you for this thread Barbara Therese  
 
In my case, I'll attend Saturday Evening Vigil. Then, there's Sunday Easter Mass. I've volunteered on January to help at Easter Mass (altar serving and cleaning after mass). Told my mom. She obviously ignored it. I don't think my family relationship will be affected seriously. They'll be disappointed, but nothing more. The thing is, it's not the first time they ask me to miss important mass (while my brothers have missed many family meetings only because they wanted to be with their friends !), and I'm really tired of them not respecting my religious wishes. Maybe it's a little selfish from me. But Easter Mass is so important, happens once a year, while family meeting happens more often. 

I'm praying for you and your family, Nada. I can only imagine what kind of difficulties this must cause you. 

[NadaTeTurbe]

You're all so kind I used to be angry at my family for not being catholic. Then I understood all the very painfull things in our family history that lead us to atheism. Then I was angry at God for not converting them. Then I understood that I must let the Spirit works and be a witness of Christ's love for them. But sometimes it can be hard. I'm living in France - it's the fourth atheist country in the world, and we have very very very strict laws about religion, and a lot of people want them more for strict ! For example, you can't wear a religious clothes (such as a cross or an islamic scarf) in school, for all the people who work for the State (teacher, etc...). But there are also people who think that religious clothing must be forbidden in the steets. How crazy is that ? Today mom told me that becoming a sister could be the worst that I would do for her. it brokes my heart. In this moment, the Gospel become very, very, real  

I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother

Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division.
 

Is Jesus worth it ? I wish I could answer "YES !" with assurance like some people can but I'm not strong enough in my faith to do so. But I hope it. They prayer of Abandonment from Brother Charles is very important to me because I feel like I should try to understand everything by myself, but I must God works in myself. Every time that I try to do something by myself : like understanding something in the Faith, or fighting a temptation, or protesting against something my mom said, I fail. But when I really try to be open to the Spirit, and let God works on myself, it works. 

Father,
I abandon myself into your hands;
do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.

Let only your will be done in me,
and in all your creatures -
I wish no more than this, O Lord.

Into your hands I commend my soul:
I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for you are my Father.