When visiting communities

[Julie de Sales]

...is it required to bring them a gift or to give them money for the time you spent with them? I don't live in the US, so maybe these things are viewed differently according to the culture, but let's take this scenario: you correspond via letters/email with a community and you arrange a visit there for a longer period, 1 or 2 weeks. Offering a gift would be nice (not absolutely necessary in my opinion), but I sometimes feel that I should also pay for the food and the lodging. I did so almost every time I went to visit, even for shorter periods of time, but I did not say to the sister: "here you have the money for taking care of me this week", but I presented it more like a donation for the needs of the community, especially if their apostolate is with the poor and the eldery.

I know a community that doesn't ask for anything if you come in for a vocation retreat and you are interested in joining them, but they do have a tax if you come for a simple retreat. 

Also, it's hard sometimes to estimate how much money should I give to the community if I were to stay for a month or two (and usually down the road it is required to stay longer in order to get to know the sisters better and vice versa)...

So I would like to hear your opinions/ personal experiences on this subject

 

[TheresaThoma]

If I am staying for the weekend or just a few days I will bring some type of food gift. If I stay for a longer period of time I will typically give a small donation. It is definitely not required but I like to do so. At one convent they had a box for free will offerings for staying at the retreat house so I just put it in there. Another time I sent a check with a thank you card. I personally like sending it with a thank you card as it kept it low key, but that may be just me.

[Spem in alium]

Something my mother always taught me: if you are visiting someone in their home, take something. A card, food, whatever. When I visited my sisters for a day retreat, I would often take a food item, and the same if I was staying for a few days. Last year, when my sisters in Rome hosted me for three weeks (almost all meals covered, own room, towels and linen), I gave them a monetary donation based on a daily rate I thought was appropriate, plus a little extra because they were so kind and generous with their resources and time. 

If you are planning to stay for a month or two, I would actually raise the point with the sisters. Say you feel that a monetary donation is appropriate, and you could even ask them how much would be suitable, if you're comfortable. That is the best way to avoid anyone being embarrassed, plus it will show your intentions.  
 

[AveMariaPurissima]

A sort of related question:  I'm going to be visiting the Sisters in a couple weeks and I'd like to bring them something.  I love to bake, so my first thought was to bring them some sort of baked good (maybe banana bread or something like that).  But I was wondering if that type of thing is appropriate to bring since I'm visiting during Lent.  Any thoughts?

[Nunsuch]

Hot cross buns?

[TheresaThoma]

Banana bread would be good. Even if they can't eat it right then breads freeze really well.

[Spem in alium]

9 hours ago, AveMariaPurissima said:

A sort of related question:  I'm going to be visiting the Sisters in a couple weeks and I'd like to bring them something.  I love to bake, so my first thought was to bring them some sort of baked good (maybe banana bread or something like that).  But I was wondering if that type of thing is appropriate to bring since I'm visiting during Lent.  Any thoughts?

BANANA BREAD! They may well celebrate on feast days (St Joseph and Annunciation particularly coming up) and on Sundays during Lent.