nervous

[Spem in alium]

9 hours ago, McM RSCJ said:

So, sorry, I stick to what I was saying:  An adult of 30 or so who wants to go visit a convent for a retreat needs to save her money to pay for transportation and the retreat donation.  I do think it's problematic to expect family to pick up any portion of that.  I think those charged in Religious Communities with evaluating perspective members would expect such independence and foresight as well.  Picking up a second part-time job while already studying full-time and holding down a regular and continuing part-time job--for a few weeks or a few months to save up for something is something my students do all the time. 

Plus the real world facts of religious life include that each member has to contribute to the costs of the community.  There is no magic.

Sister, I think you may be making too much of this. From what MLF is saying, she certainly is not expecting this from her parents. And yes, financial independence is important, but I don't believe it's necessary to start jumping into talking about what religious communities are looking for. For what it's worth, I was still living at home before I entered and my parents never made me pay them (monetarily) to stay at home. So in a way, you could say I wasn't completely financially independent. I even still had educational debt. This was okay for my sisters and honestly, I don't think it's very fair to anyone to make such a blanket statement. Each person's situation (and each religious community) is different.

We don't know MLF's situation, nor is it our business to know it. Instead of judging or assuming, why not be happy for her that A) she's making a courageous step in going on this retreat, and B) her dad was supportive. 

MLF, my parents often dropped me at the convent and helped me get places because I didn't drive and it was quite a distance by public transport. Don't worry about seeking help from others. 

[MarysLittleFlower]

Thank you Spem in Alium  

Edited February 18, 2016 by MarysLittleFlower

[MarysLittleFlower]

The basic reason I asked my dad to drive me is mostly just because it would be more comfortable for my family. The convent is in a very rural place in the States and there's no transportation to there, and I've never really been to the States... And my dad just happens to go through that State for his work often. It just fits together. It would seem strange/unnecessary to them if i insisted on a complicated combination of plane/bus/carpooling when my dad goes there every week anyway or prefers to drive me. It would also be neat if i could tell him about the convent on the way and show it to him. I'd take the train to the city where my family lives and I'd pay for the train myself.  

Edited February 18, 2016 by MarysLittleFlower

[Feankie]

You don't live in the States but you are going to visit a community in a state for just a retreat?  And you don't live in the city where your family lives? Are they in the States?   I can't seem to reconcile what is gong on here.  So help me out.....you would train into your family's state, your father would drive you to the rural place when he travels for work, then get back to your residence somehow.  I;m very confused.  Please explain.  2 and 2 don't add up to 4 here.

[MarysLittleFlower]

1 hour ago, Francis Clare said:

You don't live in the States but you are going to visit a community in a state for just a retreat?  And you don't live in the city where your family lives? Are they in the States?   I can't seem to reconcile what is gong on here.  So help me out.....you would train into your family's state, your father would drive you to the rural place when he travels for work, then get back to your residence somehow.  I;m very confused.  Please explain.  2 and 2 don't add up to 4 here.

I live in Canada and my family lives in Canada. My dad travels in the States for work. I'm making a retreat in the same State. 

[Spem in alium]

8 hours ago, MarysLittleFlower said:

Thank you Spem in Alium  

7 hours ago, MarysLittleFlower said:

The basic reason I asked my dad to drive me is mostly just because it would be more comfortable for my family. The convent is in a very rural place in the States and there's no transportation to there, and I've never really been to the States... And my dad just happens to go through that State for his work often. It just fits together. It would seem strange/unnecessary to them if i insisted on a complicated combination of plane/bus/carpooling when my dad goes there every week anyway or prefers to drive me. It would also be neat if i could tell him about the convent on the way and show it to him. I'd take the train to the city where my family lives and I'd pay for the train myself.  

You're welcome.  

It makes sense to go with your dad, especially if he's preferring you travel with him rather than make your own way -- and yes, great opportunity to show him the convent! It's good that you're also considering your family in this. 

I remember the first retreat with my sisters. My parents happened to be doing volunteer work nearby (actually, on several retreat weekends this seemed to be the case), so they kindly drove me. I think they may have even picked me up that evening too, as it was late and dark --- maybe they met my sisters then also.

When is your retreat happening? 

 

[Swami Mommy]

MLF, I live in Buffalo, NY, just over the border from Canada, so if you are doing your retreat in this area and need a guide to get around the area, please feel free to PM me.

[McM RSCJ]

To Spem in Alium,

Thank you.  You are right I should not continue to emphasize concerns in this context.  I am sorry.

I think what led me to post is concern, when I visit this website, that some elements that many Religious consider important indicators of vocation often aren't mentioned here at all.  After a while, the lacuna is striking.

[Swami Mommy]

McM, I would be very interested in hearing more from you about the elements that Religious consider to be important indicators of a vocation that are not usually mentioned on this phorum.  I think that information would be very valuable to discuss here.

[vee]

If there is anything anyone feels is not being covered please by all means start a new thread and we shall discuss

I too am interested in a discussion on the topic mcm mentionedl

[Spem in alium]

3 hours ago, McM RSCJ said:

To Spem in Alium,

Thank you.  You are right I should not continue to emphasize concerns in this context.  I am sorry.

I think what led me to post is concern, when I visit this website, that some elements that many Religious consider important indicators of vocation often aren't mentioned here at all.  After a while, the lacuna is striking.

No problem at all, Sister. Let's pray for each other.  

And yes, let's start a thread on this topic. I am also interested in discussing, but this is probably not the appropriate place.

[AveMariaPurissima]

I second the suggestion for a new thread on the above-mentioned topic! I had been thinking the same thing!

 

[Spem in alium]

I can get the ball rolling...  

[MarysLittleFlower]

8 hours ago, Spem in alium said:

You're welcome.  

It makes sense to go with your dad, especially if he's preferring you travel with him rather than make your own way -- and yes, great opportunity to show him the convent! It's good that you're also considering your family in this. 

I remember the first retreat with my sisters. My parents happened to be doing volunteer work nearby (actually, on several retreat weekends this seemed to be the case), so they kindly drove me. I think they may have even picked me up that evening too, as it was late and dark --- maybe they met my sisters then also.

When is your retreat happening? 

 

I don't have a date set yet, but hopefully this spring

5 hours ago, Swami Mommy said:

MLF, I live in Buffalo, NY, just over the border from Canada, so if you are doing your retreat in this area and need a guide to get around the area, please feel free to PM me.

Thank you Swami Mommy! my retreat is in another State but thanks for the offer!