choosing a charism

[MarysLittleFlower]

I'm sure this is something to speak about with a spiritual director (and I will) but how do you know if a charism is for you, if you are drawn to multiple charisms?

the spirituality I've always been drawn to is reparation to the Holy Eucharist, and some orders seem to be about this like the Precious Blood Sisters, Victims of the Sacred Heart, or the new community Sisters of Mary. Many orders are of course indirectly about this cause it's something that's so closely tied with religious life in general. Then I'm also drawn to a type of spirituality that's about living a hidden life with the Holy Family in Nazareth, and the Visitation seems really fitting for this and the Mystery of the Visitation has been part of my prayer life. Also I'm drawn to imitation of Our Lady and the Visitation fits here too. At the same time, I really love Carmel and Poor Clares and Passionists, but I don't know if this is a call or just a liking. Certain things about Carmelite spirituality I'm really drawn to as well though.

How do we even tell what we are called to? I know visiting orders is really important here. But even just deciding which ones to visit... they all have different spiritualities but what happens if all the spiritualities are beautiful and have a relevance to your life?  

[Swami Mommy]

MLF, I can't speak about the merits of the different charisms you've mentioned, but one thing I would suggest in your discernment of charism is to mentally project what your interests might be like in the future at different life passages.  For instance, as a young woman of childbearing years, your interest might currently be drawn to the hidden life of the Holy Family and the Visitation, but when you are older and the issues of your current life passage have changed with the advancing decades, will you still be drawn to family life or to the emotional context of the Visitation when you are sixty or seventy or eighty?  In other words, what charism will satisfy your inner commitment and longing over the course of a lifespan, well into old age?

I only ask this because I can tell you that the passions of my youth no longer interest me at this time of my life (retirement), and if these interests had been a spiritual charism instead, I would now be feeling pretty dry towards them.  For example, the concerns of young families no longer concern me (except as these concerns impact my own daughters' lives), even though I was very interested in and invested in family concerns in my thirties and forties when I worked as a medical social worker with families who had severely chronically ill children.  However, I am still interested in medical issues, so my current interest has morphed into adult healthcare instead.  

i don't know if my own personal experience in a career would apply to selecting a spiritual charism you can continue to feel passionate about over time, but it is worth considering at least.

[katherineH]

This is a great question Mary! In my (short) experience of discernment, I have found that the Spirit leads me to charisms through experiencing a community's prayer life.  It is while praying with a community that you will see how they receive, experience, and in turn share with others the charism of the founder.  A good example of this is the charism of penance.  Both the Franciscan Sisters of the Martyr St. George and the Franciscans TOR in Steubenville have a charism of penance, but the way they experience that charism in prayer is so different.  As @Swami Mommy said, it is also important to see how the charism influences the rest of the sisters' lives.  One charism can express itself in many different apostolates and practices. There is also the possibility that the Spirit will surprise you entirely.  I visited a community without any clear attraction to their charism and it was while visiting with them that I discerned that charism had been in me all along. I'm also not sure that there is only one specific charism that we are called to.  Maybe there are multiple charisms that would satisfy your heart, and the Lord will let you choose. 

[Nunsuch]

MLF, it may be possible to overthink this. As katherineH said, when she visited one community, it just "felt right." So many sisters I know have said the same thing: some variation on "it felt like I was home." [You are a convert, right? So am I. It's sort of the way I felt when I became a Catholic--I was home.] So the best plan may be to do some reading and praying, and then "come and see." And remember that eliminating possibilities is also a constructive step in the discernment process. 

[sr.christinaosf]

47 minutes ago, Nunsuch said:

MLF, it may be possible to overthink this. As katherineH said, when she visited one community, it just "felt right." So many sisters I know have said the same thing: some variation on "it felt like I was home." [You are a convert, right? So am I. It's sort of the way I felt when I became a Catholic--I was home.] So the best plan may be to do some reading and praying, and then "come and see." And remember that eliminating possibilities is also a constructive step in the discernment process. 

That was my first impression, too: don't over-think this...pray to Our Lady; pray to the Holy Spirit to guide you.  Like has been said before, visiting is really important and will tell you more than a simple rational analysis of charisms can.

[Sister Leticia]

When I saw the thread title - Choosing a Charism - my first thought was: you don't choose a charism, it chooses you!

Seriously, that's how it is. Something deep within the discerner recognises and resonates with something within the community and feels at home, or it feels like finally arriving home. And while you might read something on a website which resonates with you, it's really only when you make proper contact, have conversations, visit, that you'll see that "something" enfleshed and being lived.

But as to your question about which orders to visit - start by making contact and having some conversations, whether by phone or online. You don't have to visit every order you contact. VDs are accustomed to responding to all sorts of initial enquiries - after all, information gathering is an essential part of any discernment. Some will make it easier for you by offering Come & See weekends, or you'll get a "feel" from the contact which will make you want to take it further.

[Sponsa-Christi]

28 minutes ago, Sister Leticia said:

When I saw the thread title - Choosing a Charism - my first thought was: you don't choose a charism, it chooses you!

This was my exact first thought when I first saw the title of this thread!

20 hours ago, Swami Mommy said:

MLF, I can't speak about the merits of the different charisms you've mentioned, but one thing I would suggest in your discernment of charism is to mentally project what your interests might be like in the future at different life passages.  For instance, as a young woman of childbearing years, your interest might currently be drawn to the hidden life of the Holy Family and the Visitation, but when you are older and the issues of your current life passage have changed with the advancing decades, will you still be drawn to family life or to the emotional context of the Visitation when you are sixty or seventy or eighty?  In other words, what charism will satisfy your inner commitment and longing over the course of a lifespan, well into old age?

I only ask this because I can tell you that the passions of my youth no longer interest me at this time of my life (retirement), and if these interests had been a spiritual charism instead, I would now be feeling pretty dry towards them.  For example, the concerns of young families no longer concern me (except as these concerns impact my own daughters' lives), even though I was very interested in and invested in family concerns in my thirties and forties when I worked as a medical social worker with families who had severely chronically ill children.  However, I am still interested in medical issues, so my current interest has morphed into adult healthcare instead.  

i don't know if my own personal experience in a career would apply to selecting a spiritual charism you can continue to feel passionate about over time, but it is worth considering at least.

I've actually had sort of an opposite experience in my spiritual life. Different mysteries or saints that I was attracted to when I was younger are still meaningful to me---although often in deeper ways or for different reasons than they were originally. I think most charisms probably take a lifetime to fully appreciate (or at least to "grow into.")

[MarysLittleFlower]

Thank you for the replies! I totally agree that the charism chooses you. I just feel so drawn to a couple of them and I'm not sure which one it could be! I guess it really is true that the only key is visiting and seeing where I feel at home.

 

 

21 hours ago, Swami Mommy said:

MLF, I can't speak about the merits of the different charisms you've mentioned, but one thing I would suggest in your discernment of charism is to mentally project what your interests might be like in the future at different life passages.  For instance, as a young woman of childbearing years, your interest might currently be drawn to the hidden life of the Holy Family and the Visitation, but when you are older and the issues of your current life passage have changed with the advancing decades, will you still be drawn to family life or to the emotional context of the Visitation when you are sixty or seventy or eighty?  In other words, what charism will satisfy your inner commitment and longing over the course of a lifespan, well into old age?

I only ask this because I can tell you that the passions of my youth no longer interest me at this time of my life (retirement), and if these interests had been a spiritual charism instead, I would now be feeling pretty dry towards them.  For example, the concerns of young families no longer concern me (except as these concerns impact my own daughters' lives), even though I was very interested in and invested in family concerns in my thirties and forties when I worked as a medical social worker with families who had severely chronically ill children.  However, I am still interested in medical issues, so my current interest has morphed into adult healthcare instead.  

i don't know if my own personal experience in a career would apply to selecting a spiritual charism you can continue to feel passionate about over time, but it is worth considering at least.

I thought about what it is about the Visitation and the Holy Family that so attracts me. I don't think for me it has to do with family itself, though if I were interested in marriage perhaps it would be that too.. I actually never really thought about this topic of the Holy Family or was drawn to it, until I realized the aspect there of living hidden with Jesus. I think that's what it is about for me. The Visitation would maybe about imitating Our Lady's virtues and carrying Jesus to others. This is just my analysis of myself! I don't know what I'll be like when I'm older but based on my experience so far, it seems to be similar as for Sponsa, where certain things I was drawn to become deeper over time. But this is only about things in the faith. Everything else I've been interested in has changed very much over time  

[DominicanHeart]

I swear I'm half Dominican half Carmelite 

[AveMariaPurissima]

3 hours ago, DominicanHeart said:

I swear I'm half Dominican half Carmelite

That combination would make a pretty cool order, actually!!

[DominicanHeart]

37 minutes ago, AveMariaPurissima said:

That combination would make a pretty cool order, actually!!

I know right??? I would love to start it!!

[josephine]

4 hours ago, DominicanHeart said:

I swear I'm half Dominican half Carmelite 

I believe the little sisters of the lamb combine both. They have a very strong dominican roots (since their foundress was a dominican) but they are also really into st Therese of Lisieux and Edith Stein. They are also in the usa, in kansas city.

http://www.communautedelagneau.org/en

[Spem in alium]

I'm a believer in a charism finding and choosing you. The charism of my order touches my heart, makes me feel at home, fills me with peace, and also infuses me with desire -- this is how I know I am called to live it, at least for the present moment.

I don't believe you will discover the charism speaking to your heart simply by reading about it. In my view, the best way to discover your charism is to observe other people who live it every day, and to try to live it yourself. I think that when you're discerning a particular order it's so important to spend time with the community not only in times of prayer, ministry and silence, but also in times of community gathering, joy and relaxation. This gives you a sense of who they are, what they value, and how they connect with others. Seeing my sisters live out their charism in how they relate to one another -- even around the meal table -- is more meaningful than I can express.  

 

Edited February 16, 2016 by Spem in alium

[vee]

10 hours ago, DominicanHeart said:

I swear I'm half Dominican half Carmelite 

Ya Im that too, and then there's @dominicansoul who dyed her OP habit brown, and read only Carmelite saints....

[NadaTeTurbe]

18 hours ago, josephine said:

I believe the little sisters of the lamb combine both. They have a very strong dominican roots (since their foundress was a dominican) but they are also really into st Therese of Lisieux and Edith Stein. They are also in the usa, in kansas city.

http://www.communautedelagneau.org/en

Agree. They are formally dominican (affiliated to the dominican orders), but they also have st francis of assisi and st edith stein as their saint patron/part of their spirituality.