Question about requests

[Basilisa Marie]

I've been a bridesmaid once and will do it again in May. The first time I spent about $110 on the dress plus extra for alterations, whatever I wanted for shoes, and then my airfare and other expenses to get there (hotel was covered by bride's family). The bride checked with us to make sure it wouldn't be a financial hardship and offered to help us out if we needed it. She bought us all lacy shrugs to cover our shoulders during Mass. 

This time I purchased the dress (it was from David's Bridal instead of a tiny one-of-a-kind boutique, so we could wait for sales and stuff) it was about the same I think? I still have to get it altered but I'm waiting with the vain hope I can shrink an inch in my waistline before May (lol as if, I love carbs too much) The bride told us she'd be willing to have us put the dress on her card and have us pay her back over time, but I don't think any of us need to. The bride is having most of the party wear custom chuck taylors but they're optional. I'm also paying my way out there (both times involve flying from PDX to the East Coast), not sure about hotels yet, but I'm taking a few extra days before the wedding to see other friends in the area. 

Basically the TLDR is absolutely not, that is reasonable for a dress, when someone asks you to be a bridesmaid it should go without saying that there is a financial commitment OR that financial stuff is going to be an issue that needs to be sorted out. My friends were extra considerate and offered to help us out financially because they were in a position to do so, but really it should be the bridesmaid's responsibility. If she has to say no for financial reasons and you can't help her out, there shouldn't be any hard feelings either way. Dress, help with the parties, travel expenses, those are the things bridesmaids should expect to help with. But what's most important is for them to be there for the bride on the day of the wedding and reception, to help make it the best possible experience for her. 

[Ash Wednesday]

I didn't have bridesmaids. Problem solved.