Screaming fits

[Maggyie]

Eye rolling at you Betty. You have serious problems. Get a spiritual director. I will not be performing open heart surgery based on phatmass comments, but parents do trade tips or offer commiseration. let me go confess to my ped about how I crowd sourced infant soothing without sharing with the internet my child's full medical history. He will be shocked i tell you. Shocked. 

Everybody who is actually helpful,  here is the swing we got: 

https://www.4moms.com/mamaroo

I am cheered by the fact we can return if necessary. Does anyone know if a cheaper swing that goes up and down like this one? As opposed to back and forth. Mary loves up and down or "the elevator" as we call it.

@Archaeology catdo you know what symptoms of a dropping supply might be? That's what the grazing made me worry about. 

[hotpink]

13 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

Oh go for it. You don't know what is going on in this situation, I do. Never mind.

The truth will come out eventually - it always does. Then you will be the one apologizing to me.

 

If you know someone in real life and believe she's abusing her child, then you shouldn't of brought it up in a public forum but in person, via a call to CPS.  However, your beliefs are so radicalized it leads me to believe that you, dear one, are in the wrong.

If you're referring to the early attachment phase most of the studies site children who developed attachment disorders like RAD and not ordinary children with ordinary mothers and fathers.  99.99% of RAD and attachment disorder cases come from children who've been so badly neglected they aren't held for days, nevermind breastfed every half hour.  Children do develop attachment disorders with caring parents, but it's very rare and may actually indicate other more severe mental illnesses that began early.  If putting a child down constitutes abuse than every child in the world has been abused.

What you're noting is deep within attachment philosophy, which has been "proven" by tenuous studies which often reference such things as cortosol levels and tracks attachment disorders in at-risk populations. I'm not convinced that correlation=causation and that there isn't some merit to self-soothing, especially when it comes to parent's mental health.

11 minutes ago, Maggyie said:

Eye rolling at you Betty. You have serious problems. Get a spiritual director. I will not be performing open heart surgery based on phatmass comments, but parents do trade tips or offer commiseration. let me go confess to my ped about how I crowd sourced infant soothing without sharing with the internet my child's full medical history. He will be shocked i tell you. Shocked. 

Everybody who is actually helpful,  here is the swing we got: 

https://www.4moms.com/mamaroo

I am cheered by the fact we can return if necessary. Does anyone know if a cheaper swing that goes up and down like this one? As opposed to back and forth. Mary loves up and down or "the elevator" as we call it.

@Archaeology catdo you know what symptoms of a dropping supply might be? That's what the grazing made me worry about. 

That's one fancy swing!!!  Honestly, it looks well built and well done....some of the cheap swings that are at Walmart or Target are just hazards....that looks really safe.  A good, well built swing is going to cost upwards of $100 and that probably has good resale value via Ebay, so I'd say go for it.

Edited January 8, 2016 by hotpink

[Maggyie]

Just to squelch this issue, I am not going to get into it in public although that is what Lillla wants. You may have noticed on other threads her attempts to threaten me with "exposure" by making vague references.  Be reassured that our conflict has to do with my failure to meet a certain religious requirement, not actual child endangering or anything like that. 

Its ironic because with regard to this religious problem of ours, I and my husband have gotten ourselves straightened out, and by the bishop of our diocese no less! Meanwhile Lillla is eaten up with bitterness. Sad because she refuses to acknowledge my sweet baby as her niece or even meet her. 

-end drama -

 

Edited January 8, 2016 by Maggyie

[hotpink]

6 minutes ago, Maggyie said:

Just to squelch this issue, I am not going to get into it in public although that is what Lillla wants. You may have noticed on other threads her attempts to threaten me with "exposure" by making vague references.  Be reassured that our conflict has to do with my failure to meet a certain religious requirement, not actual child endangering or anything like that. 

Its ironic because with regard to this religious problem of ours, I and my husband have gotten ourselves straightened out, and by the bishop of our diocese no less! Meanwhile Lillla is eaten up with bitterness. Sad because she refuses to acknowledge my sweet baby as her niece or even meet her. 

-end drama -

 

I can't PM you...

[Lilllabettt]

10 minutes ago, hotpink said:

If you know someone in real life and believe she's abusing her child, then you shouldn't of brought it up in a public forum but in person, via a call to CPS.  However, your beliefs are so radicalized it leads me to believe that you, dear one, are in the wrong.

If you're referring to the early attachment phase most of the studies site children who developed attachment disorders like RAD and not ordinary children with ordinary mothers and fathers.  99.99% of RAD and attachment disorder cases come from children who've been so badly neglected they aren't held for days, nevermind breastfed every half hour.  Children do develop attachment disorders with caring parents, but it's very rare and may actually indicate other more severe mental illnesses that began early.  If putting a child down constitutes abuse than every child in the world has been abused.

Nope. Not what I'm talking about. Take a screen shot of this thread, it will be a good lesson in not spouting off about stuff you don't know about.

I don't care what you think of me, I am in the right.

Her dismissal of this issue as a "religious requirement" is typical of her approach to what has happened. It's wrong.  I've studied developmental psychology at the graduate level and its wrong. this is not something that can be fixed by a quick trip to confession. It may be over for her and her husband, it will NEVER be over for the poor little baby.

The rest of our family would like to dismiss it, sweep it under the rug and pretend its a non-issue. It is not a non-issue. It will effect this poor little baby at every step. So I want it acknowledged and owned up to and addressed AT EVERY STEP. I will give up my family before I play along. No hesitation from me.

 

 

[Maggyie]

8 minutes ago, hotpink said:

I can't PM you...

Made some room

[Archaeology cat]

@Maggyie - not being an LC, I'm not as well-versed in signs of supply dropping (sometimes people think supply is dropping when it's just regulating, for example). I did have a supply drop with Leo, but it was so drastic it was obvious. Like, he wasn't gaining any weight, etc. But that was from his severe tongue- and lip- ties. 

Dairy has been a culprit for 3 of my 4 (actually, it was the bovine proteins, so beef was out, too). Ironically, the one who didn't have a problem with me eating dairy now has a problem with dairy, much to his dismay since he loves Brie (that's my kid!). With Charlotte I only had to cut dairy for a few months, and I didn't have to be super super strict about it. She's my dairy-lover now. With Leo I did have to be super strict, and I still have to be strict in his diet. I started eating dairy again shortly before Cecilia was born, and of course she can't tolerate dairy or beef, either. So much for Brie. I've figured out to adapt most recipes. I bake with coconut milk, and use rice milk for a white sauce for pasta or pizza (I can't eat tomatoes, either. Lucky me). I know a few who have great success with almond milk, but my husband's allergic to almonds, so that's out for us. It's more expensive being dairy-free, and annoying, but doable. Vent away to me anytime. 

[Maggyie]

1 minute ago, Archaeology cat said:

@Maggyie - not being an LC, I'm not as well-versed in signs of supply dropping (sometimes people think supply is dropping when it's just regulating, for example). I did have a supply drop with Leo, but it was so drastic it was obvious. Like, he wasn't gaining any weight, etc. But that was from his severe tongue- and lip- ties. 

Dairy has been a culprit for 3 of my 4 (actually, it was the bovine proteins, so beef was out, too). Ironically, the one who didn't have a problem with me eating dairy now has a problem with dairy, much to his dismay since he loves Brie (that's my kid!). With Charlotte I only had to cut dairy for a few months, and I didn't have to be super super strict about it. She's my dairy-lover now. With Leo I did have to be super strict, and I still have to be strict in his diet. I started eating dairy again shortly before Cecilia was born, and of course she can't tolerate dairy or beef, either. So much for Brie. I've figured out to adapt most recipes. I bake with coconut milk, and use rice milk for a white sauce for pasta or pizza (I can't eat tomatoes, either. Lucky me). I know a few who have great success with almond milk, but my husband's allergic to almonds, so that's out for us. It's more expensive being dairy-free, and annoying, but doable. Vent away to me anytime. 

Just curious, was there a test for the allergies that could be done? Or did you have to delete a variable, see if it changes anything, and detective stuff like that?

[hotpink]

5 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

Nope. Not what I'm talking about. Take a screen shot of this thread, it will be a good lesson in not spouting off about stuff you don't know about.

I don't care what you think of me, I am in the right.

Her dismissal of this issue as a "religious requirement" is typical of her approach to what has happened. It's wrong.  I've studied developmental psychology at the graduate level and its wrong. this is not something that can be fixed by a quick trip to confession. It may be over for her and her husband, it will NEVER be over for the poor little baby.

The rest of our family would like to dismiss it, sweep it under the rug and pretend its a non-issue. It is not a non-issue. It will effect this poor little baby at every step. So I want it acknowledged and owned up to and addressed AT EVERY STEP. I will give up my family before I play along. No hesitation from me.

 

 

Yeahhhhhh....you know better than the Bishop.  OK.  I wish there was a thread-level ignore button.  Quite frankly, you're not a mom.  You can study developmental psychology all you want, but your lack of pushing another human being out of your body (or having it thusly removed) or being married/affianced/coupled with said person does affect your judgment of the matter.  Your dogged approach to this makes you seem the fool.

[Archaeology cat]

Just now, Maggyie said:

Just curious, was there a test for the allergies that could be done? Or did you have to delete a variable, see if it changes anything, and detective stuff like that?

OK, so the deal with allergy testing is that it's notoriously inaccurate for food allergies. So says Leo's GI doctor. If the child isn't having an immediate reaction (ie: hives, etc), then chances are it won't show up on a test. My children and I all have delayed food allergies. So if I eat a tomato, a few hours later I will feel horrible for a few more hours, depending on how much I ate. We did have testing done on one child, but it didn't show anything. The allergist told me that didn't mean he didn't have allergies or intolerances, though. So the elimination diet is the best way to determine it. 

[Lilllabettt]

1 minute ago, hotpink said:

Yeahhhhhh....you know better than the Bishop.  OK.  I wish there was a thread-level ignore button.  Quite frankly, you're not a mom.  You can study developmental psychology all you want, but your lack of pushing another human being out of your body (or having it thusly removed) or being married/affianced/coupled with said person does affect your judgment of the matter.  Your dogged approach to this makes you seem the fool.

 

The truth will out.

When it does I hope you remember this thread.

[hotpink]

6 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

 

The truth will out.

When it does I hope you remember this thread.

LOL based on your past grudges and just Maggyie's replies I can guess.  You need to stop.  seriously

[Maggyie]

6 minutes ago, Archaeology cat said:

OK, so the deal with allergy testing is that it's notoriously inaccurate for food allergies. So says Leo's GI doctor. If the child isn't having an immediate reaction (ie: hives, etc), then chances are it won't show up on a test. My children and I all have delayed food allergies. So if I eat a tomato, a few hours later I will feel horrible for a few more hours, depending on how much I ate. We did have testing done on one child, but it didn't show anything. The allergist told me that didn't mean he didn't have allergies or intolerances, though. So the elimination diet is the best way to determine it. 

Ah that's what I was afraid of. I don't think I will bother with testing because it will just make me frustrated if they can't find anything.  

[HopefulBride]

43 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

Nope. Not what I'm talking about. Take a screen shot of this thread, it will be a good lesson in not spouting off about stuff you don't know about.

I don't care what you think of me, I am in the right.

Her dismissal of this issue as a "religious requirement" is typical of her approach to what has happened. It's wrong.  I've studied developmental psychology at the graduate level and its wrong. this is not something that can be fixed by a quick trip to confession. It may be over for her and her husband, it will NEVER be over for the poor little baby.

The rest of our family would like to dismiss it, sweep it under the rug and pretend its a non-issue. It is not a non-issue. It will effect this poor little baby at every step. So I want it acknowledged and owned up to and addressed AT EVERY STEP. I will give up my family before I play along. No hesitation from me.

 

 

So I've been away from PM for a bit and I'm back only to rejoice at Mags' news (congrats on the baby by the way) but then again to be saddened by the back and forth and then this statement.

It makes me think of my siblings and how after my brother and his wife started having kids, the biggest fear we had was of not being able to see the kids and of course each other.  

I shall continue to keep PM in prayers because as I have said and continue to say y'all have been instrumental in my journey and are like family to me.  

I pray that your baby's fits subside (sounds like it's on the better end of the spectrum) I hope it's not a GI issue, I know how bothersome these can be.

God Bless Y'all!                                                                                                                                                                                                      SCM

Edited January 8, 2016 by HopefulBride

[beatitude]

Lilllabettt, to anyone who has been a long-term user of Phatmass and has a reasonably retentive memory, it's easy to guess what you're talking about in this thread. You must know that, and I think this is what you were actually aiming at - to get people guessing about it, working it out.

I've also studied developmental psychology at graduate level and I currently work in teenagers' psychiatric intensive care. The statements you've made about grief aren't backed up by any clinical evidence, and while you may believe in them wholeheartedly, you probably also know that other people are unlikely to accept them. So it seems to me that this is not about you trying to protect a baby from potentially harmful advice, as you're darkly hinting at, but you trying to get people to speculate about your sister's situation, and using sketchy psychology to force a discussion on ethics.

It isn't fair to turn the phorum into a stage for your family difficulties and to try and manipulate Phatmassers into becoming arbitrators or spectators in that discussion. You must have Maggie's phone number; you can talk to her without dragging us into your living room and making us watch. You have my sympathy, it's a painful situation for you, but this is manipulation. I am closing this thread.