Fighting the battle against porn as a young woman

[kayakingcatholic]

Over the last several weeks I have been blogging my story about fighting for chastity against an addiction to pornography that I've had since I was 11. It's already been a source of healing since I started, and I hope to inspire other young women to bring this dark battle to light. Please check it out and feel free to share with all your friends!

https://belovedinwholearmor.wordpress.com/

Past three topics:
"A Horrible Idea" - My testimony
"On Fridays We #FIGHTPORN" - Living in the world as an addict
"{Purity Culture} More harm than good?" - Thoughts on how "purity culture" is detrimental to those who want to pursue authentic chastity in the midst of our fallen humanity

[PhuturePriest]

These are very well written posts! I definitely agree with you on purity culture, too, and I'm far from what you would call a liberal. It certainly comes from a place of good intent, but it too often puts anything remotely sexual as something to be ashamed of. That is the perfect recipe for scrupulosity, as well as an eventual giving in and going crazy.

Your posts on pornography and masturbation are very refreshing. I've blogged a little bit about pornography and my own past struggles with it, and, interestingly enough, about pornography and women specifically. I did this because several women confessed to me privately that they struggled with addictions to pornography and masturbation, and my interest was piqued when I noticed common lines of thought each one expressed: 1) That they were the only one, 2) that this somehow made them feel less feminine since this was a guy issue, and 3) that they were afraid to confess it for fear of shocking the priest and/or leading him to sin. 

There seems to be an enormous amount of shame women place on themselves for struggling with pornography. Dealing with the regular shame of it is bad enough, so feeling even more ashamed must be really difficult.

Thank you for using your platform to help women with this issue. As a guy, I'm obviously limited in the influence I have with this specific issue, and it's promising to see a woman open up about her struggles to help those who are too afraid to admit them.

[Luigi]

The Dominicans sponsor an organization called the Angelic Warfare Confraternity. It's been around for centuries. It grew out of the experience of St. Thomas Aquinas, whose brothers tempted him with a prostitute to keep him from joining the Dominicans. The goal is that members support each other in developing and maintaining chastity by daily prayers (one prayer to Jesus, fifteen Hail Marys each dedicated to a different human faculty, and one prayer to St. Thomas Aquinas). 

There's a web page, although it's currently "down." I'm sure it will be back up in the reasonably near future. It's run by the eastern province of the OP friars. The address is www.angelicwarfareconfraternity.org  

Here a link to the organization's Facebook page.  https://www.facebook.com/AngelicWarfareConfraternityInterestPage

[Luigi]

The Angelic Warfare web site is up and running again. www.angelicwarfareconfraternity.org

[reminiscere]

I'd like to second the Angelic Warfare, to which I belong. It's not in your face, it's not guilt-inducing (in case of falling), it's not over the top or in your face, and it's truly spiritual. Given its rich history and all the spiritual benefits attached to it, I think it speaks for itself -- especially concerning its efficacy and Church endorsement. 

[NadaTeTurbe]

Your post on purity culture made me think of this sermon by St Bernard of Clairvaud on virginity and humility (sermon Missus Est for the advent) (of course, it was a sermon for religious, so he wrote for perpetual virgins. Still interesting). It helped me a lot. (sorry for the weird pasting : https://archive.org/stream/sermonsofstberna00bernuoft/sermonsofstberna00bernuoft_djvu.txt ) 
 

Virginity is a commendable virtue, but humility an indispensable one

Again, we can be saved without virginity, not without humility. A soul that has to deplore the loss of virginity may still be accept 
able to God by humility : without humility, I will venture to say that even the virginity of Mary would not have been pleasing to Him, theDivine Majesty. 

The more honourable the gift of chastity, the greater the injury you do it in tarnishing its beauty within you by any admixture of pride.

[MarysLittleFlower]

3 hours ago, NadaTeTurbe said:

Your post on purity culture made me think of this sermon by St Bernard of Clairvaud on virginity and humility (sermon Missus Est for the advent) (of course, it was a sermon for religious, so he wrote for perpetual virgins. Still interesting). It helped me a lot. (sorry for the weird pasting : https://archive.org/stream/sermonsofstberna00bernuoft/sermonsofstberna00bernuoft_djvu.txt ) 
 

Virginity is a commendable virtue, but humility an indispensable one

Again, we can be saved without virginity, not without humility. A soul that has to deplore the loss of virginity may still be accept 
able to God by humility : without humility, I will venture to say that even the virginity of Mary would not have been pleasing to Him, theDivine Majesty. 

The more honourable the gift of chastity, the greater the injury you do it in tarnishing its beauty within you by any admixture of pride.

It helps to also consider that though ones own virginity can't be recovered, the purpose of virginity can be recovered, and in union with God, He can purify the soul with His purity. Its really encouraging that St Mary Magdalene, though believed to have sinned against chastity, was the first recorded witness of the Resurrection (Our Lady was the first but secretly) - and went on to lead a very holy contemplative life. I read that at her death, her body smelled like flowers. So humility is in fact important and though losing virginity through sin is a very sad thing, God can bring good to the soul later by giving it humility as the old sins are remembered. In that way the effect of good makes up for the effect of evil. Nothing is hopeless with God. St Margaret of Cortona and Blessed Angela of Foligno are two more very saintly even privileged souls who were not virgins. Bl Angela was married (though worldly at first) but St Margaret wasn't married and had an affair with a man. https://www.ewtn.com/library/MARY/STMAGT.HTM

Another Saint who especially can give hope to anyone who sinned against chastity is St Mary of Egypt. 

Edited January 9, 2016 by MarysLittleFlower

[MarysLittleFlower]

I just read about St Margaret and I just love her I wanted to share this just in case someone is reading this who feels discouraged by their past with purity. Even if we have fallen before we can not only be saved but become saints and love God greatly, and God uses Saints like St Margaret to give hope to others. 

 "I have put thee as a burning light," Our Lord said to her later, "to enlighten those who sit in the darkness.--I have set thee as an example to sinners, that in thee they may behold how my mercy awaits the sinner who is willing to repent; for as I have been merciful to thee, so will I be merciful to them."

 

Margaret died in 1297, being just fifty years of age. Her confessor and first biographer tells us that one day, shortly before her death, she had a vision of St. Mary Magdalene, "most faithful of Christ's apostles, clothed in a robe as it were of silver, and crowned with a crown of precious gems, and surrounded by the holy angels." And whilst she was in this ecstasy Christ spoke to Margaret, saying: "My Eternal Father said of Me to the Baptist: This is My beloved Son; so do I say to thee of Magdalene: This is my beloved daughter." On another occasion we are told that "she was taken in spirit to the feet of Christ, which she washed with her tears as did Magdalene of old; and as she wiped His feet she desired greatly to behold His face, and prayed to the Lord to grant her this favor." Thus to the end we see she was the same; and yet the difference!

They buried her in the church of St. Basil in Cortona. Around her body, and later at her tomb, her confessor tells us that so many miracles, physical and spiritual, were worked that he could fill a volume with the record of those which he personally knew alone. And today Cortona boasts of nothing more sacred or more treasured than that same body, which lies there still incorrupt, after more than six centuries, for everyone to see.

Source: https://www.ewtn.com/library/MARY/STMAGT.HTM

[Ice_nine]

fwiw I think your writing style in clever and self-effacing enough to stand on its own without all the memes but hey you do your thing. I think it's cool.