Good Acts I Can Do -- Suggestions?

[dominicansoul]

I used to work in a nursing home.  It was scary at first, but once you get your foot through the door and start talking to the elderly you will definitely enjoy it.  Also you won't be offering this as a service to them like you think you are....it quickly becomes them offering a service to you.  The elderly are treasures, and you will learn and experience profound wisdom from them...

[CatherineM]

I spent lots of time in nursing homes in my teens. Grandfather, great aunts, that sort of thing. I had a great time. Half of them thought I was their granddaughter. Met a woman in her 50's who had some kind of neurological disease and used an electric wheelchair. She was a writer and did a column for the paper on history of early pioneers. She got lots of her stories from the residents and their visitors.

Now you'd lots of veterans and war stories, if you're lucky. Those are great stories to listen to. 

[Catherine Therese]

You could volunteer to take Holy Communion to the sick in hospital? I know where I'm from we have more sick people than priests, so those who are Eucharistic Ministers help the priests cover everyone. An opportunity to visit people who need encouragement - but with a definite purpose, which might help on the confidence side of things. 

[NadaTeTurbe]

I volunteer at a nursing home. We come, pray the rosary, and give the communion. We're two youngs and two adults doing this. I find it hard. 

Anyway, at my parish, they have people who give the communion to people who can't leave their houses. Ask your parish if there's such person in your city. 

If there's one, you can ask your local Society of St Vincent de Paul if they need help. (btw, the life of SSVP's founder, Blessed Frédéric Ozanam, is very inspiring)

Your message came at the good time. A friend and I are looking for volunteer for a project, and we can't find youngs peoples to help us - they're not interested. I was a little depressed, but your message made me smiley. Merry Christmas to you ! 

[MarysLittleFlower]

I'm part of the local Legion of Mary in my parish. The purpose of the Legion is personal sanctification and bringing God to others through Our Lady. We visit nursing homes maybe you would be interested in the Legion? Our parish is traditional so we don't bring them Holy Communion but we let the priest know if they would like this. We also use the older books / prayers. In visiting the elderly we talk to them and pray with them and bring them Rosaries scapulars etc. Also at our parish we do door to door evangelism and inviting people to Mass (somewhat scary but we've had many good discussions). We're also thinking of starting a youth group. The early Legionaries did cool things like help prostitutes and overseas missions and some do prison work. That can still be done though many groups just do nursing homes. There's a Cause of Beatification for the founder. Anyway I just thought I'd share! The emphasis is spiritual works - we are not allowed to give anything material unless the Legion buys it (like a Rosary). Last year we also read a book called Soul of the Apostolate - about how to connect interior life and works. You might like it I don't know what its like being a member of the Legion in another parish  - but I like being here. Our group also has several young people. 

Edited December 24, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower

[Nihil Obstat]

Back in elementary school, the choir would always sing at assisted living homes every year. We also had a club, at the time called Friends of Seniors, now renamed LinkAges, that would go once a week over a lunch hour to one of the homes to do things like play board games, and generally just to chat.

[Luigi]

11 hours ago, PhuturePriest said:

May I ask what you find so troubling about spending an hour to talk with residents at a nursing home? I'm just very confused by your seeming opposition to it.

Visiting people in a nursing home sounds like a good idea. Visiting the sick is one of the corporal works of mercy. But a couple of suggestions and a caveat.

- I'd plan from the beginning on more than one visit. Maybe every Saturday for a month or something. It may take more than one visit to get the hang of it. Your first experience or two may not meet your expectations.

- Check with the nursing home personnel to see who they recommend you visit.

- Take your cues from the people you visit. Ask what you can do for them, let them talk about themselves rather you talking about yourself (although there will of course be some of that), if they don't want to talk then just move on. It takes some sensitivity and humility because...

- It's fairly easy to fall into what's called "the benefactor mindset" where the 'do-er' feels like he's providing some wonderful benefit to the receiver and the receiver should be gushingly grateful to him when in fact the receiver might feel like the do-er is imposing on him, or telling him what to feel (That "Cheer-up!-It-can't-be-that-bad" attitude). You're there to serve them, not solve their problems.

 

I hope it's a good experience for you.

[PhuturePriest]

1 hour ago, Luigi said:

Visiting people in a nursing home sounds like a good idea. Visiting the sick is one of the corporal works of mercy. But a couple of suggestions and a caveat.

- I'd plan from the beginning on more than one visit. Maybe every Saturday for a month or something. It may take more than one visit to get the hang of it. Your first experience or two may not meet your expectations.

- Check with the nursing home personnel to see who they recommend you visit.

- Take your cues from the people you visit. Ask what you can do for them, let them talk about themselves rather you talking about yourself (although there will of course be some of that), if they don't want to talk then just move on. It takes some sensitivity and humility because...

- It's fairly easy to fall into what's called "the benefactor mindset" where the 'do-er' feels like he's providing some wonderful benefit to the receiver and the receiver should be gushingly grateful to him when in fact the receiver might feel like the do-er is imposing on him, or telling him what to feel (That "Cheer-up!-It-can't-be-that-bad" attitude). You're there to serve them, not solve their problems.

 

I hope it's a good experience for you.

Thanks for the advice! I'm going mostly off what Matthew Kelly described, which was indeed asking about them and keeping the conversation about them. Feel free to add suggestions if anyone here has specific things which would be nice to ask. 

[Anomaly]

Older people need to be listened to, feel like a worthwhile person, etc.   As they age, they aren't the same as 70, 60, 50, etc., but they still have a ton of wisdom. It's tough to be treated like a mental feeb, treated arrogantly, etc.    They don't want to be lectured, bossed, tolerated.   My parents and grandparents and friends live long, 100 yrs, 90's, lively in their 80's.   They want respectful interactions. 

 I really think you have the personality and sensitivity to be good at it.      

Edited December 24, 2015 by Anomaly

[PhuturePriest]

12 minutes ago, Anomaly said:

Older people need to be listened to, feel like a worthwhile person, etc.   As they age, they aren't the same as 70, 60, 50, etc., but they still have a ton of wisdom. It's tough to be treated like a mental feeb, treated arrogantly, etc.    They don't want to be lectured, bossed, tolerated.   My parents and grandparents and friends live long, 100 yrs, 90's, lively in their 80's.   They want respectful interactions. 

 I really think you have the personality and sensitivity to be good at it.      

I very much prefer asking questions and listening to being the one talking, so that will definitely help. Do you have any specific questions you would recommend asking?

[corban711]

Phuture,

I get to go to nursing homes and assisted living facilities to visit people on a weekly basis.  It is such a blessing!  My experience (and the experience of the guys I live with--8 of us, living in community as missionaries) has taught me a few things.  Mostly that it is both very simple to do, and beautiful.  

Keep it very, very simple.  It's okay to have a plan in mind going in, but be open to the Holy Spirit.  Be there as a friend and really try your best to get to know them.  Not as a "missionary" or to preach, but to offer yourself, your presence, your love, your time, attention, touch, and maybe prayers for those who are open to it.  Unfortunately, I have yet to discover magic words or specific questions to ask that work every time or something like that...it just takes a little stepping out in faith and a willingness to be patient enough to allow relationships to develop in their natural manner over time.  It doesn't usually happen overnight, but sometimes you'll hit it off right away.  Ask questions and listen well, but don't be afraid to talk about yourself or answer their questions when they ask.  Some won't open up right away, some will, and some will need to know you a bit before they open up.  I can promise that it won't be too difficult to find someone who longs to share their story with you though.  Just listen and let the conversation go wherever it leads quite naturally.  

Before we go in to a place we always pray and ask Our Lady and the Holy Spirit to show us who is most in need of love that day and to guide us to them.  Ask Jesus, who is thirsting for love in their hearts, to allow you to hear His cry of thirst in their hearts, and then love Him in whoever He leads you to, wherever His thirst is greatest. It's a great joy to meet Him there    Ask Him to lead you, and if for some reason you aren't being open to His leading, then ask Him to lead that person you're supposed to encounter to you!  (That happens almost every time btw when we pray that.  Usually when we think it's time to go!  haha) 

Other things you can do...ask your Pastor if there are any homebound people you can visit.  He might be a good resource for who to visit the first time you go to a nursing home too btw.  There are probably parishioners there.  Go into a park or to the busiest part of your small town (if there is any kind of area where people congregate) and just sit there, pray, and ask God to help you encounter one of His beloved sons or daughters in need of His love.  You can meet lonely, broken people who feel incredibly isolated right outside a grocery store.  Or working behind the counter.  And if you ask God for the grace to have those encounters, they won't be lacking.  Promise!  I wouldn't necessarily sit outside a grocery store waiting...that's kind of weird.  Haha.  But hopefully you know what I mean. You could introduce yourself to your neighbors.  Or if you have already met them but never talk, just go over and acknowledge that and get to know them.  It sounds like there may not be, but if there are any homeless people, find them and get to know em.  Or any places or services for the mentally ill or handicapped.  Community centers, programs, etc. etc. I'm sure you've already looked into all that stuff.  Haha.  

 

and if you have any more questions on nursing homes, our experience there, how to get in them to start loving people, and what it looks like to be a presence of love, etc. ask!   I'll be happy to help 

[MarysLittleFlower]

2 hours ago, corban711 said:

Phuture,

I get to go to nursing homes and assisted living facilities to visit people on a weekly basis.  It is such a blessing!  My experience (and the experience of the guys I live with--8 of us, living in community as missionaries) has taught me a few things.  Mostly that it is both very simple to do, and beautiful.  

Keep it very, very simple.  It's okay to have a plan in mind going in, but be open to the Holy Spirit.  Be there as a friend and really try your best to get to know them.  Not as a "missionary" or to preach, but to offer yourself, your presence, your love, your time, attention, touch, and maybe prayers for those who are open to it.  Unfortunately, I have yet to discover magic words or specific questions to ask that work every time or something like that...it just takes a little stepping out in faith and a willingness to be patient enough to allow relationships to develop in their natural manner over time.  It doesn't usually happen overnight, but sometimes you'll hit it off right away.  Ask questions and listen well, but don't be afraid to talk about yourself or answer their questions when they ask.  Some won't open up right away, some will, and some will need to know you a bit before they open up.  I can promise that it won't be too difficult to find someone who longs to share their story with you though.  Just listen and let the conversation go wherever it leads quite naturally.  

Before we go in to a place we always pray and ask Our Lady and the Holy Spirit to show us who is most in need of love that day and to guide us to them.  Ask Jesus, who is thirsting for love in their hearts, to allow you to hear His cry of thirst in their hearts, and then love Him in whoever He leads you to, wherever His thirst is greatest. It's a great joy to meet Him there    Ask Him to lead you, and if for some reason you aren't being open to His leading, then ask Him to lead that person you're supposed to encounter to you!  (That happens almost every time btw when we pray that.  Usually when we think it's time to go!  haha) 

Other things you can do...ask your Pastor if there are any homebound people you can visit.  He might be a good resource for who to visit the first time you go to a nursing home too btw.  There are probably parishioners there.  Go into a park or to the busiest part of your small town (if there is any kind of area where people congregate) and just sit there, pray, and ask God to help you encounter one of His beloved sons or daughters in need of His love.  You can meet lonely, broken people who feel incredibly isolated right outside a grocery store.  Or working behind the counter.  And if you ask God for the grace to have those encounters, they won't be lacking.  Promise!  I wouldn't necessarily sit outside a grocery store waiting...that's kind of weird.  Haha.  But hopefully you know what I mean. You could introduce yourself to your neighbors.  Or if you have already met them but never talk, just go over and acknowledge that and get to know them.  It sounds like there may not be, but if there are any homeless people, find them and get to know em.  Or any places or services for the mentally ill or handicapped.  Community centers, programs, etc. etc. I'm sure you've already looked into all that stuff.  Haha.  

 

and if you have any more questions on nursing homes, our experience there, how to get in them to start loving people, and what it looks like to be a presence of love, etc. ask!   I'll be happy to help 

Great advice and it gave me more thoughts on how to do my apostolate better God bless you!

[Norseman82]

FP, you stated in another thread that the reason you accelerated your departure from CM was your father's health.  It appears that if you are looking for someone to help, you don't have to look far at all.

How is he doing?  Is his BP getting any better?

Edited December 25, 2015 by Norseman82

[PhuturePriest]

10 hours ago, Norseman82 said:

FP, you stated in another thread that the reason you accelerated your departure from CM was your father's health.  It appears that if you are looking for someone to help, you don't have to look far at all.

How is he doing?  Is his BP getting any better?

Thank you for asking! His health is doing very well and everything is back to normal.

Edited December 25, 2015 by PhuturePriest

[Not A Real Name]

List of Good Acts You Can Do:

1. Give me money.

2. Give me money.

3. Give me bacon.

4. Give me money.