tinytherese Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 How do you politely handle it, especially when they're regulars? You get in trouble for not being nice to customers and you're not always able to walk away like if you're a cashier. I work at a grocery store and there's one man who pays me a lot of undue attention. It was especially hard when I started to walk out the door once my shift was over. I kept trying to leave, but kept getting delayed by him not leaving me alone. He started to ask me some uncomfortable questions. He appears to have an intellectual disability or is just really socially awkward and reads into my professionalism. I don't want this to turn into a stalker situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 It's one thing to just be polite -- a normal person will eventually get the drift and move on. There's nothing rude about saying, "No, thank you." But if he doesn't let up and the situation persists to the point where you're feeling really uncomfortable and being stalked, I would take it up with your manager or boss. Is it a grocery store with security guards? Perhaps someone of authority who could politely ask him to go on his way and could escort you for the time being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 In addition to what Ash said (especially talking to your manager), I would straight out tell him he is making you uncomfortable. I would tell him you are uncomfortable with the personal questions. I also would ask a coworker (man if possible) to walk you to your car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted December 16, 2015 Author Share Posted December 16, 2015 9 hours ago, Ash Wednesday said: Is it a grocery store with security guards? No. Once, he came in and didn't buy anything. He said that he just stopped in to see my smile. Uhhh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 27 minutes ago, tinytherese said: No. Once, he came in and didn't buy anything. He said that he just stopped in to see my smile. Uhhh... Stop smiling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peace Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 12 hours ago, tinytherese said: How do you politely handle it, especially when they're regulars? You get in trouble for not being nice to customers and you're not always able to walk away like if you're a cashier. I work at a grocery store and there's one man who pays me a lot of undue attention. It was especially hard when I started to walk out the door once my shift was over. I kept trying to leave, but kept getting delayed by him not leaving me alone. He started to ask me some uncomfortable questions. He appears to have an intellectual disability or is just really socially awkward and reads into my professionalism. I don't want this to turn into a stalker situation. Lie?! You could have a short conversation with him at the register, and then drop some hints about your b.f. If you actually have one to talk about then even better. Wherever the conversations goes just be like "Wow. My boyfriend really likes that too!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 I've dealt with this before. Guy came up to me on my break and sat across from me the whole time, among other things. Couldn't take a hint. There are lots of guys who legit don't understand that being extra nice and polite is NOT a sign that you like them, it's a sign that you are trying to be good at your job. Tell your manager. That way if you end up "having" to be "rude" to him, and he complains, your boss knows the situation. Causally mention a Boy Friend (you have male friends, right?). If that doesn't work, say you have a boyfriend (you have male friends, right?). Some guys won't respect your ability to say no, but they will respect some other guy's claim on you. Unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 There are also plenty of men out there who don't care if you have a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. I know this from the numerous experiences of a friend from college. Also, considering the hours that I work and for how long I need to stay at this job, I can't get away with saying I'm under 18 the whole time. I've googled how to handle this and quite a few people have given nasty responses or they're trolling. "Get off your high horse and just take a compliment." "It must be awful being beautiful." "Just give him a chance. You may actually like him." Hulk, smash. Hulk, smash even more if a manager says anything like those comments. You never know which one will be on duty. What specific phrases should I use when this guy comes around? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 "no" "goodbye" "get lost" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 (edited) 11 hours ago, tinytherese said: There are also plenty of men out there who don't care if you have a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. I know this from the numerous experiences of a friend from college. Also, considering the hours that I work and for how long I need to stay at this job, I can't get away with saying I'm under 18 the whole time. I've googled how to handle this and quite a few people have given nasty responses or they're trolling. "Get off your high horse and just take a compliment." "It must be awful being beautiful." "Just give him a chance. You may actually like him." Hulk, smash. Hulk, smash even more if a manager says anything like those comments. You never know which one will be on duty. What specific phrases should I use when this guy comes around? Tell him you have to get home to clean your shotguns. Srsly. Don't need to saying anything other than you have to leave. When he follows you to your car just simply get in and drive away. Don't think you have to wait for him to stop talking before you get in your car and drive away. You can also call someone one your cell phone while walking to your car, even if you have to pretend to talk to someone on the phone. Edited December 17, 2015 by Papist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peace Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 LOL. I wouldn't necessarily go the shotgun route yet. You said that he seems a bit socially awkward. Maybe he just doesn't get it, or realize that he is coming off as a creep. Maybe that is not really his intention. . . I would still stick with trying to let him know you aren't interested easily for a bit, before going the Rambo route . . . But I guess sometimes you do have to go Rambo. I dunno if it has come to that point yet . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 "I'm sorry, I'm not interested." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 I talked with my therapist today about this. I'm telling the managers and human resources about him. I'll get my manager to help if I need to. I'm with this special attention you're giving me. Those are awfully personal questions you're asking and I'm uncomfortable with them. I need to go now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seven77 Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 “sorry, we only sell groceries here." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now