Thoughts On The Church And The Pro-Life Movement

[Selah]

I have been both pro-life and a practicing feminist for as long as I can remember. I believe that the amount of effort our society puts into pushing abortion as the only option is not only disrespectful to the life inside of her, but to the woman as well.

We live in a culture where women are taught to hate their reproductive systems. It's something to be ashamed of and should be shunned and ignored. A woman becoming pregnant, in the eyes of many men in out society, is a burden and an inconvienience to him and his own wants and needs, while totally disregarding what the woman wants. So when she does get pregnant, she is told to just get rid of it, or the relationship will end. The core root of abortion is misogyny for the sole fact that it focuses much more on what men want than what the woman wants. 

Also, I have seen so much shaming of pregnancy, in both the Christian and secular media. My mother is a social worker, and I cannot tell you how many times she has seen young women who had, or almost had, an abortion, because they were afraid of parents finding out and disowning them. While it is true that they should not be having premarital sex in the first place, the fact is that it does happen. I would argue that, while what is done is done, we should also seek to help young women who become pregnant. How? 

The first thing we can do is educate. Teach women to love their bodies and their reproductive systems. Many object, "That is NOT all that I am." While this is true, there is no need to (no pun intended) through out the baby with the bathwater. It may not be the sole reason you are a woman, but the fact is, you have a reproductive system. That is nothing to be ashamed of. This may even be the root of abortion; women are taught that they should be ashamed of their reproductive abilities and that having a baby only burdens society. So I would recommend taking classes. Find an NFP class, learn about the reproductive system, try to understand how it works. 

Second, I want to bring up the fact that shaming young women for having premarital sex should stop, or at least, be taken down a few notches. Some young women do have fears of having loved ones leave them or judge them. They feel pressured to have the abortion. No, this is not always the case, but it is a great piece of it. Instead, talk to them about other options. There are more than just adoption, although that is another one. Look aroung your area for Divine Mercy or Catholic Worker houses. Tell them about the Gabriel Project, which helps young mothers who become pregnant unexpectedly. Again, I am not saying that it isn't a sin; I am merely stating that there may be other ways to handle this. Abortion is a huge problem in my small town, and the way people handle it here is not working. Again, I will stress that I believe both abortion and premarital sex are a sin, and it should be addressed. At the same time, however, mercy and compassion should also be addressed. 

Lastly, while I do value the opinions of all people, male or female, I do think it would be more beneficial to let women talk about the problem of abortion and unexpected pregnancies, since it very directly affects them. While it affects all people, I have seen that women are more likely to listen to a woman talk about abortion than a man. 

[CatherineM]

I'd like to work towards a time when people no longer think abortions are necessary. 

[dominicansoul]

I honestly don't think people are ashamed enough.  Im not saying to "shame" anyone like the Westboro Baptists try to do by shouting down sinners, what I'm saying is our attitude towards sin has changed to the point that it no longer affects our behavior.  We've grown pretty immune to guilty consciences.  "The fear of God is the beginning of Wisdom" the Scriptures say. Well, I don't see much fear of God in our world today.  There is no fear of offending Him.  He gets forgotten while society makes immoral laws so that groups won't be offended.    We even want to believe there is no consequence for sin ("no one is in hell" debates...)

I don't think shame accounts for the majority of abortions.  I would say more so fear:   fear of bringing a life into the world that they are not ready for or ready for the huge responsibility.  Also, fear of parents.  Fear of the repurcussions of having offended their parents.  Fear of your boyfriend leaving you.  Fear for your own health, your own life...

I often stress to the Prolife groups in the parishes around here that it's not enough to just give unwed mothers what they need materially.  We need to give them what they need spiritually.  I think pro-life groups need to have instruction and courses for these young women, not only to help the young moms make it in this world, but to lead them to Christ.  I've never witnessed any of these groups treat women harshly and shame them.  They've always treated women with compassion and mercy.  But we need to remember that instruction is merciful, too!  Telling them what is right and what is wrong is an act of compassion.  Sadly, many of these women are trapped in this life of sin.  They are not church-goers, they only come during Holy Days of the year.  They do not partake in the Sacraments.  They want what the Church offers materially, but they can't find the strength to stop their sinning ways.  These same women come back again and again and again for financial help and baby goods for every child they have with different partners.  Does that sound like they are ashamed of what they are doing?    Society marks all unwed mothers as "victims" which has often puzzled me.  Victims of their own bad behavior?

Our complacent attitude towards the sins of the flesh needs to change before we can stop abortion.  That is the basic root of the problem. 

[Selah]

Those are some good points. That said, unwed mothers are sometimes not made so by choice but by coersion and rape. In that sense, they are victims. Despite the fact that they are not ashamed, for the child's sake, I think we should continue to help them.

You bring up not shaming it enough; that said, while I do think taking the woman aside to speak with her and to help her, we also have to hold others accountable. Our culture. Men who think they are obligated to tell a woman what to do with her body (when I say this, I am speaking of men who bail out when a woman is pregnant, or dump her). 

 It does happen, as I said before, all the time where I live. The man never wants to take responsibility, when he should also be held accountable. Women deserve better than this, and we need to make sure we are listening to them. For their sake and the sake of the child.

[Peace]

Selah - where do you live? I would guess that shaming varies widely depending on the location / culture.

[Selah]

2 minutes ago, Peace said:

Selah - where do you live? I would guess that shaming varies widely depending on the location / culture.

West Virginia. While there are certainly things available, there is also a planned parenthood which I feel could be replaced with a Divine Mercy House, or something that could help women with their reproductive health, not make it worse. I also worked with men who basically viewed women as if they were things, and when their girlfriends got pregnant, it was almost always "get rid of it" or they would leave them. Heck, many of them wouldn't even pay for child support. Or, the man uses the baby as a way to control the woman, so he abuses her, but she cannot leave him. If she does, she and her baby will have nothing. That's why Divine Mercy and Catholic Worker houses are important, and that's why I always tell women about them and the Gabriel Project.  But more than that, men need to also be held accountable for their actions. If they helped make the baby, the must also help care for the baby.