On Use of the Term "Vocation"

[chrysostom]

1 hour ago, Gabriela said:

On the other hand, I imagine single men past 30 are constantly asked why they don't get married or become priests. I've never encountered one who told me, "People are always asking me why I don't become a brother." Which is a whole different problem.

It probably doesn't help that brothers are simply less visible and a much rarer sight than a priest in your average parish.

Before I was Catholic one of my few Catholic friends said he wanted to become a hermit.  I just thought it was plain weird at that point, Protestant as I was at the time.  Little did I know or try to understand what that sort of calling truly meant.

I suppose the only place I've heard phrases like "people are always asking me why don't you join X religious community?" is in the very parishes where such religious communities operate.  

[bardegaulois]

40 minutes ago, Gabriela said:

I agree absolutely, bardegaulois, and this is one of my main reasons for bringing up this issue. If you're a single woman past 30, people are always asking you why you don't marry or become a nun. As if those were the only two vocational options. I'm sure Sponsa must get plenty of that, too. @Sponsa-Christi?

On the other hand, I imagine single men past 30 are constantly asked why they don't get married or become priests. I've never encountered one who told me, "People are always asking me why I don't become a brother." Which is a whole different problem.

As an unmarried man over 30, I don't get that so much, to be honest. Certainly never the marriage aspect, I should say (I must evidently not be the marrying type); every now and again someone asks me why I'm not a priest, and I always tell them to ask the bishop emeritus. If he didn't tell me why he rejected me as a seminary candidate, then he probably won't tell them either.

The priest-brother dynamic, though, is an interesting one, which I've brought up on this forum before, most recently here : http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/140051-vocation-station-for-men/ . It seems like another matter, like the present issue of vocation in general, that many have been trying to clarify since before the Second Vatican Council, but has reached the present day more obfuscated than it was then for various reasons. It's an interesting dilemma that I've alas seen scarcely little commentary upon--that is, scarcely any that really gets to the crux of the matter.

[Sponsa-Christi]

2 hours ago, Gabriela said:

I agree absolutely, bardegaulois, and this is one of my main reasons for bringing up this issue. If you're a single woman past 30, people are always asking you why you don't marry or become a nun. As if those were the only two vocational options. I'm sure Sponsa must get plenty of that, too. @Sponsa-Christi?

 

I hope this isn't a disappointing answer, but this actually doesn't bother me all that much personally! These days, people tend to guess that I'm "something like a nun" before I even say anything, and most of the time when people ask why I didn't enter a religious community it's out of genuine curiosity (which gives me a good opportunity to explain my vocation in a positive way). 

When I was newly consecrated, it seemed like I got a lot more judge-y or snide remarks for some reason. But I'm not sure if this was just the particular environment I was in at the time, or because I was less mature and felt slights more keenly, or because there is a more widespread understanding of what consecrated virginity is these days. It's probably some combination of all these things!

I do appreciate it when people remember to include consecrated virginity specifically in discussions on consecrated life, but at the same time it really doesn't bother me when non-theologians/non-canonists don't get all the technical terminology right in more causal contexts. (Like, if there are prayers for "vocations to religious life" instead of "consecrated life" in the general intercessions at Mass, I'm not going to get all huffy about "being left out." I'll just know to mentally include consecrated virgins in that general category!  )

[bardegaulois]

1 hour ago, Sponsa-Christi said:

I hope this isn't a disappointing answer, but this actually doesn't bother me all that much personally! These days, people tend to guess that I'm "something like a nun" before I even say anything, and most of the time when people ask why I didn't enter a religious community it's out of genuine curiosity (which gives me a good opportunity to explain my vocation in a positive way). 

 

I hope you don't mind my asking, but do people think you're "something like a nun" because you wear a habit or some other particular garb or symbol, or is there something in your attitude or presentation that clues people into the fact that you're following a more supernatural calling?

[Sponsa-Christi]

I do dress much more simply than most people my age (I'm thirty), and I wear a ring and a fairly distinctive looking cross (a Confirmation gift from my parents---it's a cross with a dove sort of carved into it). And I tend to hang out in nun-ish type places (like daily Mass or Pontifical Universities...)  But I think it's more the way I would carry myself and relate to people. If you met me, I think it would be fairly clear early on that I'm not married, that I'm not looking for romance, and that my faith is the center of my life.