Experiences of spiritual direction

[beatitude]

One of my biggest challenges in living out my vocation has been the isolation (I am the only person in this secular institute in my country). Because of this I have sometimes felt like St Peter confronted with the waves when it comes to my formation - I don't have as much structure, support, and guidance as I would if I were joining an institute with a presence here. Recently I have been praying for God to send me a spiritual director who understands the secular institute vocation and who lives near enough to provide the kind of support that I need but am missing.

Tonight, as I was looking at some leaflets after Mass, a priest from the chaplaincy team walked up to me and said without preamble, "Are you looking for a spiritual director?" I'd never mentioned my problem to any of the chaplaincy team before (not only are they priests for two universities, they work for the local hospital as well, so they're rushed off their feet and they probably take it in turns to go to sleep - I didn't think it would be fair to ask them). I also don't know this particular priest very well, but after chatting with him for a while I felt like he would be a good help. So it looks as though finally I am going to have regular spiritual direction within walking distance.

I have never had this before. In the past the only spiritual direction I received was on discerning a vocation. I don't know what happens in spiritual direction when you've set out on your chosen path, so I suppose this is more a question for the religious on the forum, and Sponsa-Christi as well. How regularly do you see your SDs and what place does spiritual direction occupy in your lives as consecrated/vowed women? Any tips for making the most of it? And finally, does your SD double as your confessor or do you find it helpful to have a different confessor?

[MarysLittleFlower]

I'm still discerning but I know its hard to find a spiritual director! Mine is my parish priest and he is also my confessor, which means he knows more about me than any person on earth - a little frightening but I've found it helpful cause he knows my struggles etc! It helps to be more direct in talking to him too, cause he knows the bad things about me not just the good things. It can be humbling. The reason I chose this priest is he is just a really good priest and when he first came here I saw he is prayerful and just felt he would help me. After he was my confessor for some time I began talking to him to get some help and then it became a regular thing. 

[Orans]

Spiritual direction is an important aspect for a religious, I think. Sometimes there is a spiritual direction like kind of support built up in communities, whether with one of the members or with an outsider.

There are many matters in a consecrated person's life that are not confessional material. Given that you don't have a structure around you at this point, spiritual direction is probably even more necessary -if you find the right person; some directors can be very helpful, while others not so much. There is a lot that we can bring to spiritual direction from our daily life since we are consecrated persons and everything should be leading us or helping us to get closer to God and to the service of people. The challenges that we find in daily life are a good part of the direction conversation.

Personally I think it is good to have a separate confessor when the director is a priest, although for some people it works well to have both with the same priest. I would recommend that the confessor be a regular one also, when possible, even if he is not the director.

[dominicansoul]

I remember knocking on the rectory one day and a man in civies opened the door.  I told him I wanted to talk to a priest and he said in broken English "you looking for spiritual direction?"  I said yes so he had me sit in the rectory lobby and he left. He returned wearing his Roman collar and black shirt.  Lol!  he turned out to be the best spiritual director I've ever had.  I believe God used him in my life at the time I really needed.  Father was not easy on me but his direction helped me to grow outside of my comfort zone.  His direction and advice in confession also helped me through the "loss" of my religious vocation, the loss of my mom, and facing the responsibility of caring for a mentally ill sibling.    Sadly for me, this good priest returned to what he desired the most: island-hopping-evangelization in his beloved native Indonesia.  I've lost contact with him now because he is in very remote areas that do not have Internet or cell service. But I pray for him often because his story was he had to leave that country by order of his bishop.  He is so good at converting Muslims that radicals threatened him at Mass. He was sent to a town near to me.  But he didn't want to stay forever.  He returned sometime last year.  I hope he's safe and successful with his mission.  

 

[TheresaThoma]

I'm still discerning but that doesn't take up all of my spiritual direction time. Mostly we talk over my prayer experiences in the past couple of weeks. Right now he is guiding me through the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius. That gives some stucture but I feel free to bring up anything that is going on in prayer. For me it helps clarify things and find patterns in my prayer. It is also good to have that accountability! I know that if I am going to meet with Father I better have spent a good amount of time in prayer!

[Feankie]

As a SD myself, I can tell you almost none of my directees are discerning religious life....not to say I haven't had any in the past.  

As a SD myself, I see a SD!

 I firmly believe it helps each of us to speak with (notice, I did not say speak TO) a SD to help stay grounded in one's chosen vocation and in life in general.  As everything we do flows out of our spirituality, it's of upmost importance to have a good grasp on what, why, and how we believe, act, and think as we do.  If only my walls could talk!  I've heard and talked through just about everything you could imagine with my directees, but as often as not, there are really no major issues to deal with and they just need a tweaking on their prayer life, spiritual readings, etc.  When we meet, we try to get to the "kernel" of the matter/s in nonjudgemental ways and often in non-verbal ways as well.  As I have said in other posts on this topic I have many things in my office to help those who can't quite verbalize their concerns as they would like.  I've got clay, paper, markers, etc. if they happen to be kinesthetic instead of verbal.  But I have to say that most directees have the answers within and simply need a gentle nudge in the right direction. Others need more structured suggestions.  Don't discard spiritual direction as something only those discerning RL or who are in RL need.  It's beneficial to everyone.