CatherineM Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 That's what we've decided to do. We can't give them the five grand anyway. He has a wealthy sister but she tried to gain guardianship and failed so they won't ask her for fear she could use this to prove they need a guardian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swami Mommy Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 I don't know if this would help, if it's available in your region of Canada, or if you've already tried this agency already, but the Canadian Red Cross has senior services available. I would check to see if they have a case management team who would be able to link you to the appropriate assessment services needed to determine your in-laws' ability to remain at home. Good luck! http://www.redcross.ca/how-we-help/community-health-services-in-canada/home-care-services Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlesister Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 We hear this kind of thing. In the U.S. you should be able to get a fire inspector with enough authority to get into the house, but it looks like that didn't work for you, at least not the first time. Prayers for you and your husband in this dangerous and frustrating situation, and his parents' safety too. God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 His sister is down there for the next two weeks. We don't know if she is going to try to get guardianship again, or is going to bring in cleaners or what. She never stays that long. We can't ask her either because this is the sister that my husband isn't allowed to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comingback Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I have no advice or thoughts beyond what are offered here (with the exception of burning the house), but you all will be in my thoughts and prayers. Incredibly tough situation on so many levels. I am not in favor of burning the house! Just realized how that sounded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I have no advice or thoughts beyond what are offered here (with the exception of burning the house), but you all will be in my thoughts and prayers. Incredibly tough situation on so many levels. I am not in favor of burning the house! Just realized how that sounded. Awww, come on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoffeeCatholic Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 I'm with you. My mother in law is a serious hoarder, too. I'm praying for you, there's honestly not much you can do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 An update. My sister in law was able to get them pulled in for a geriatric assessment for 30 days. It's a new law under the mental health act. His dad was walking around outside without shoes and tried to shovel the walk with just a bathrobe on. His mom is very angry, but her knees were so bad she couldn't stand up without assistance. The health services had refused to assist them in the home because when a health aid entered the house she said there were feces everywhere. It's apparently gone down hill fast since my husband was last allowed to visit. His sister wants us to go down to help clean. I've refused. I'm allergic to mold and it causes me to get respiratory infections. Some of those have escalated to labrynthitis which has already cost me the hearing in my left ear. I can't risk it. Besides, I think it needs to be handled by a hazmat team. At least they are getting help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 His mom was covered in her own filth, has bed sores, and can not stand up by herself. She's also off her meds, but has somehow convinced the hospital she should be released. She does this every time, somehow acts perfectly sane long enough to get out. The one time they kept her long enough to do a proper assessment, and got to see what she was really like, they kept her for a year. My husband is on the phone to the health minister to have her call and put a stop to the discharge. He doesn't like to pull strings normally because he has lots of connections, but this time he has to. I hope she's in her office. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I really hope they accept help, Catherine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted December 6, 2015 Author Share Posted December 6, 2015 Well, we got naughty. Himself called every iou he had. Provincial mental health patient advocate, health minister, you name it. I wrote one of my famous letters. He even threatened to call the newspaper, and since he was on the front page of the paper a week ago calling out the chief of police (who cried uncle 36 hours later), they knew it wasn't an idle threat. Result is the city they live in has actually written a new bylaw to cover hoarding situations in consultation with the province's hoarding specialist, who happens to be a very good friend of ours. Their rental has been deemed uninhabitable. They can't be released from the hospital without a place to go so the hospital has to actually treat them and find them a proper senior's placement. We didn't feel guilty about throwing his weight around because this will now help other families dealing with hoarders and will hopefully go province wide. That's what our friend the hoarding specialist has been working for years on without success. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoffeeCatholic Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 oh my goodness, I'm so excited for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 22 hours ago, CatherineM said: Well, we got naughty. Himself called every iou he had. Provincial mental health patient advocate, health minister, you name it. I wrote one of my famous letters. He even threatened to call the newspaper, and since he was on the front page of the paper a week ago calling out the chief of police (who cried uncle 36 hours later), they knew it wasn't an idle threat. Result is the city they live in has actually written a new bylaw to cover hoarding situations in consultation with the province's hoarding specialist, who happens to be a very good friend of ours. Their rental has been deemed uninhabitable. They can't be released from the hospital without a place to go so the hospital has to actually treat them and find them a proper senior's placement. We didn't feel guilty about throwing his weight around because this will now help other families dealing with hoarders and will hopefully go province wide. That's what our friend the hoarding specialist has been working for years on without success. I'm glad your in-laws are getting help. Some general advice: In my experience people who have influence, power, and fame do better not to "casually" mention it. In mentioning it they run the risk of looking small. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 I'm very small. I'm just a bored housewife. I'm married to an important guy. He's important because most people with schizophrenia who are stable on their medicine prefer to be in the closet about having it. My husband refuses to hide. That's in part because his mom came down with it when he was 5 years old. His first real memory of his mom isn't warm and fuzzy. It's of her in a straight jacket. He never got a chance to be in the closet. People who can't hide their illness usually aren't stable enough to handle publicity. So every time there is a commission or council that needs a mental health consumer, he volunteers. That's how he has become friends with people in positions of authority. When there is a news story involving mental illness, he's the one that gets called. That's how he ended up on the front page of the paper a week ago. The police budget was presented to council with a suggestion to save police officer's time, when someone is in crisis, that they be taken to the jail rather than the ER. That way the cops can get right back on duty rather than standing at an ER waiting for a suicidal or psychotic person to be seen. The jail has 24/7 medical staff. Needless to say my husband, along with every mental health advocate in existence, thought it was a bad idea. After the negative media attention, the police chief backed down. Of course it comes with a price. Everyone in our water aerobics class saw it, so they all know he has a serious mental illness. For some that meant keeping their distance from us out of fear. Some were appreciative of the work we do because they have family members with mental illnesses. Some were curious be caused they'd never met one in the flesh before. We're not the kind to name drop to get a good table at a fancy restaurant. The fanciest place we go is Denny's and they don't take reservations. If it means helping someone who is being beaten up by red tape or falling through the cracks, I'll drop names until I'm blue in the face. I don't care if it makes me look smaller than I already am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 54 minutes ago, CatherineM said: If it means helping someone who is being beaten up by red tape or falling through the cracks, I'll drop names until I'm blue in the face. I don't care if it makes me look smaller than I already am. That's great. It really is. I totally endorse the practice of pulling strings and throwing your weight around to get attention paid where its needed. But I don't think talking about how you are able to pull strings, or throw your weight around, serves the same purpose. You can tell your success story to phatmass, (which I'm sure we are all very interested in hearing,) without mentioning which powerful people owe your husband, the influence you wield in the media, and who your friends are. Unless - there's a need for attention to be paid to you - in which case sharing those details does make sense. I mean this in the kindest way possible. When people mention these things "casually" its almost always a mistake. Notice that even during an election year, when politicians trumpet their achievements, they never talk about such things. Because It looks small and preening. It saps any real influence there is. Probably you don't care about your influence in phatmass so much - (although it is significant) but my advice holds true irl as well - which is where preserving your influence really does matter a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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