Talk me out of it

[CatherineM]

Works the same way here. They are all in separate homes unable to see each other. That's a main reason we've been asked. 

[veritasluxmea]

If you want to do it and can work it out go for it, I guess. Good luck. I wouldn't worry to much about your experience with girls in a living situation. I was a teenage girl at some point and I've raised/taken care of teenage girls before and I still don't understand them. What worked for me was to just be myself, be kind, and do what I can with my body language and time to convince them that whatever they're feeling, thinking, or going through is completely valid and valuable to me. I may not understand them but I can sympathize with them. Or since I cared about them, I could be patient and listen and communicate with them as best as I could. Don't brush them off if they're panicking because some guy in class sat next to them and then the next day sat somewhere else or something (yes... they did have this problem. I don't know either.) It worked for me. 

[Anastasia13]

tldr cause tired and not knowledgeable about fas.

Whatever happens, Lord have mercy on this family, bless them, guide them, and help them through the tough times and the good.

[CatherineM]

I just got a rather nasty threat from their dad and his brother. As someone experienced in death threats I'd have to say it was a good 8/10. The brother is a full patch hell's angel. They don't want us to take the kids. They're afraid the kids will like us so much that they won't want to come back. The province has taken permanent custody, so that's not going to happen no matter where they are.

Death threats don't bother me, but they shake up my husband. The parents are facing 15 years in jail, but the trial process won't finish until next summer.  If they get convicted, the kids won't get to see them anyway. This is going to take a lot of prayerful consideration.  

[Luigi]

The child with such a severe speech impediment that he only grunts - 

Sign language is an option. His siblings (and the rest of the people in the house for that matter) ought to learn it, too, so that he communicate with his siblings/guardians. He can, of course, hear what you or anyone else tells him, but he's probably experienced a lot of frustration from not being able to express himself (thus, not being able to get his needs met). So the others in the house need to learn to at least read his signs. 

College classes won't do - they're good, but they follow a curriculum, which will take too long for the child in this situation. Rather, look for a Deaf person (with good English skills, which is not to say good speech) who will come to the house to tutor everybody at the same time. I wouldn't require a college degree of this person, but teaching experience would be beneficial. 

[CatherineM]

When you spent enough time with him, you can understand what he's saying. It reminds me a bit of someone with cerebral palsy. He is in speech therapy finally. His parents wouldn't take him. 

[blazeingstar]

When you spent enough time with him, you can understand what he's saying. It reminds me a bit of someone with cerebral palsy. He is in speech therapy finally. His parents wouldn't take him. 

That's so sad.  It sounds like he's been really neglected.

 

I also hadn't thought about their feelings about the one that died. I think it was a girl. Our son would really like this because he has lost his family in a lot of ways. No one seemed to care what happened to him. I took care of two nephews the same way when my parents got custody. They also had fetal alcohol but we didn't know what that was back then. We thought they were just messed up because of their parents divorce. 

Yeah you may want to be really careful with just taking in the boys then.  If they feel that their other sister is also "dying" to them while they get to "live" they may fail to do well "on purpose" much as seen in the movie "I am Sam".  Children will purpouslfly hold themselves back to the status of a family member they feel endeared to.