The long wait

[Pax17]

For a moment I had a bizarre image of a giant eel sprawled across a refectory table being dissected by sisters!  Eel is nasty stuff...it's tolerable when it's smoked and served sushi-style, though.

[vee]

10 hours ago, Maximilianus said:

You underestimate the power of mofongo.

7 minutes ago, Pax17 said:

For a moment I had a bizarre image of a giant eel sprawled across a refectory table being dissected by sisters!  Eel is nasty stuff...it's tolerable when it's smoked and served sushi-style, though.

Ive had it like this, plus rice, but just cant do it. 

 

for size I wasnt thnking giant monster but more

 

[vee]

Had a good blow to my pride today, a nice humble pie warm up pre entrance.  I dont expect an easy ride and this was a good warm up for that.  One of the key things I think when one is looking at a community is how do they handle mistakes, what are reactions when someone messes up?  Do you feel safe doing that there?  On my live in it was a comedy of errors and they all saw, but they were kind about it and it was ok.  I felt safe, I felt I could mess up and it wasnt the end of the world.  Just when I thought I was the only one who ever did anything wrong a couple of Sisters who had been there for ages  made a couple of little mistakes.  Those too were handled by others very charitably and that was reassuring to me. 

 

[Pax17]

Ah, no one's perfect...we all mess up.  And having a loving, understanding, and supportive environment is wonderful when we do.  I'm glad you could see and experience the dynamics of the community during your live-in, and that all was positive.

On another topic, even those regular-size eels give me the creeps!  Forget about eating them, I don't even like to look at them.

 

 

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

1 hour ago, vee said:

Had a good blow to my pride today, a nice humble pie warm up pre entrance.  I dont expect an easy ride and this was a good warm up for that.  One of the key things I think when one is looking at a community is how do they handle mistakes, what are reactions when someone messes up?  Do you feel safe doing that there?  On my live in it was a comedy of errors and they all saw, but they were kind about it and it was ok.  I felt safe, I felt I could mess up and it wasnt the end of the world.  Just when I thought I was the only one who ever did anything wrong a couple of Sisters who had been there for ages  made a couple of little mistakes.  Those too were handled by others very charitably and that was reassuring to me. 

What did you do today?

Does DS need to bring a folding chair to your entrance so the Community atmosphere feels more familiar? A Community that is kind when you make mistakes will be a shock to your system after Phatmass. 

[vee]

3 hours ago, IgnatiusofLoyola said:

What did you do today?

Does DS need to bring a folding chair to your entrance so the Community atmosphere feels more familiar? A Community that is kind when you make mistakes will be a shock to your system after Phatmass. 

Long story, nothing bad, basically just missed an appointment.  A community that is kind when I make a mistake will be a shock after life in general!  Including life with my family, work etc. 

Im not sure DS will even make it to my entrance, she seems more interested in hunting for local mythological creatures...

[vee]

Three weeks...

no big shocked face this time as there is some family drama that makes me sad.  I just keeping working at what I have to do to finish the physical preparations of getting ready to go, and trusting the Holy spirit for the spiritual preparations.

I love this quote from Mother Teresa as it is something I often need to be reminded of.  Im writing it down to take with me.

 

[Guest]

7 hours ago, vee said:

trusting the Holy spirit for the spiritual preparations.

...........Prayer for the family situation.

[vee]

17 hours ago, BarbaraTherese said:

...........Prayer for the family situation.

Thank you!  Hopefully they will stop this silliness sooner than later. 

[Spem in alium]

Blessings upon you and your family. I hope everything gets sorted there - or as sorted as it can be.  

 

On 6/24/2016 at 6:59 AM, vee said:

Had a good blow to my pride today, a nice humble pie warm up pre entrance.  I dont expect an easy ride and this was a good warm up for that.  One of the key things I think when one is looking at a community is how do they handle mistakes, what are reactions when someone messes up?  Do you feel safe doing that there?  On my live in it was a comedy of errors and they all saw, but they were kind about it and it was ok.  I felt safe, I felt I could mess up and it wasnt the end of the world.  Just when I thought I was the only one who ever did anything wrong a couple of Sisters who had been there for ages  made a couple of little mistakes.  Those too were handled by others very charitably and that was reassuring to me. 

 

This is super important! How do they handle others making mistakes? Do they criticise? I always make a point of watching how my superior handles this kind of thing, because it also teaches me. I make soooo many mistakes (sometimes ones that are just so incredibly unbelievable they're funny) and while my formator is quite direct with me, when she speaks to me about something I may have messed up in she always says that I just need to remember for the future. And she (and most of the other sisters, too) make sure that when they're speaking to me about something like that, it happens in private, not in front of everyone else. My formator doesn't make me feel bad (I tend to do that on my own, thanks to my own anxieties) but yes, initially and sometimes even now I feel like I make enough mistakes for all the members of my community put together (there are 9 of us). I feel really happy, though, and even if I do make a mistake, it's either one I can laugh about later or learn from for the future. It's definitely not the end of the world or the end of my life with this congregation.  

[AveMariaPurissima]

On 6/23/2016 at 4:59 PM, vee said:

Had a good blow to my pride today, a nice humble pie warm up pre entrance.  I dont expect an easy ride and this was a good warm up for that.  One of the key things I think when one is looking at a community is how do they handle mistakes, what are reactions when someone messes up?  Do you feel safe doing that there?  On my live in it was a comedy of errors and they all saw, but they were kind about it and it was ok.  I felt safe, I felt I could mess up and it wasnt the end of the world.  Just when I thought I was the only one who ever did anything wrong a couple of Sisters who had been there for ages  made a couple of little mistakes.  Those too were handled by others very charitably and that was reassuring to me. 

 

 

1 hour ago, Spem in alium said:

Blessings upon you and your family. I hope everything gets sorted there - or as sorted as it can be.  

 

This is super important! How do they handle others making mistakes? Do they criticise? I always make a point of watching how my superior handles this kind of thing, because it also teaches me. I make soooo many mistakes (sometimes ones that are just so incredibly unbelievable they're funny) and while my formator is quite direct with me, when she speaks to me about something I may have messed up in she always says that I just need to remember for the future. And she (and most of the other sisters, too) make sure that when they're speaking to me about something like that, it happens in private, not in front of everyone else. My formator doesn't make me feel bad (I tend to do that on my own, thanks to my own anxieties) but yes, initially and sometimes even now I feel like I make enough mistakes for all the members of my community put together (there are 9 of us). I feel really happy, though, and even if I do make a mistake, it's either one I can laugh about later or learn from for the future. It's definitely not the end of the world or the end of my life with this congregation.  

As both of you pointed out...I think this is a crucial point to look at when one is discerning!!!  It is definitely something I plan to observe carefully when I'm ready to start visiting communities.

[vee]

As for the above convo I always have to give credit to Trad Mom's list of questions to ask or think abut when visiting/ discerning with a community.  Her list is in this thread but others have excellent points as well.  It was an invaluable help to me!

I just had a rather interesting chat with someone.  While I would love to kind of sneak off and enter I cant actually do that.  I have fellow parishioners that have known me for years and i was thinking how and when do I tell them all?  I just talked to a friend who is well connected and now that she knows there is no sneaking off!!  I love my parish and my parish family and I have only two more Sundays at this particular church that has played a major role in my life, so my last Mass there will be bittersweet.  I will certainly be taking everyone in my heart though, and the Carmel will likely be getting a few more prayer requests and attention soon lol!

[Spem in alium]

1 hour ago, vee said:

As for the above convo I always have to give credit to Trad Mom's list of questions to ask or think abut when visiting/ discerning with a community.  Her list is in this thread but others have excellent points as well.  It was an invaluable help to me!

I just had a rather interesting chat with someone.  While I would love to kind of sneak off and enter I cant actually do that.  I have fellow parishioners that have known me for years and i was thinking how and when do I tell them all?  I just talked to a friend who is well connected and now that she knows there is no sneaking off!!  I love my parish and my parish family and I have only two more Sundays at this particular church that has played a major role in my life, so my last Mass there will be bittersweet.  I will certainly be taking everyone in my heart though, and the Carmel will likely be getting a few more prayer requests and attention soon lol!

I was actually thinking about this very helpful list recently and laughing with my formator. I used these questions in my initial discernment with the sisters. My formator and I had a meeting with a friend the other day and she mentioned that she remembered me visiting and asking to see the constitutions, which I was able to do. She laughed and said how surprised she was!  

I had a fairly simple "farewell" - more like a "see-ya-later" (in person or in prayer) actually. The parish priest blessed me during Sunday Mass, and then I invited family and close friends for a lunch and celebration before my parents and siblings took me to the convent. It was also my brother's birthday that day so I tied it in with that. I was fairly involved in parish life, so had several people wanting to wish me well, but I wanted it to be simple and not sad.  

[vee]

15 hours ago, Spem in alium said:

I was actually thinking about this very helpful list recently and laughing with my formator. I used these questions in my initial discernment with the sisters. My formator and I had a meeting with a friend the other day and she mentioned that she remembered me visiting and asking to see the constitutions, which I was able to do. She laughed and said how surprised she was!  

I had a fairly simple "farewell" - more like a "see-ya-later" (in person or in prayer) actually. The parish priest blessed me during Sunday Mass, and then I invited family and close friends for a lunch and celebration before my parents and siblings took me to the convent. It was also my brother's birthday that day so I tied it in with that. I was fairly involved in parish life, so had several people wanting to wish me well, but I wanted it to be simple and not sad.  

Lol yes asking to see the constitutions is probably a rare question women ask!  Rare compared to say the basics of family visits and such.  I never asked that particular question but I did ask one Sister the question about what the neighbours thought of them and will never forget her very frank reply.  "Oh they hated us!" she said with no hesitation!  Luckily thats changed over time.

I like a see ya later better than a farewell.  I am stealing that and will emphasize it to people that they are always welcome to visit, or at least contact the monastery with any prayer requests.  

 

 

[Spem in alium]

2 hours ago, vee said:

Lol yes asking to see the constitutions is probably a rare question women ask!  Rare compared to say the basics of family visits and such.  I never asked that particular question but I did ask one Sister the question about what the neighbours thought of them and will never forget her very frank reply.  "Oh they hated us!" she said with no hesitation!  Luckily thats changed over time.

I like a see ya later better than a farewell.  I am stealing that and will emphasize it to people that they are always welcome to visit, or at least contact the monastery with any prayer requests.  

Hehe, I asked so many questions to my sisters that it's a wonder they actually let me in...seriously, every time I visited I interrogated them  I bet every time they saw me coming they'd say, "Oh no, not HER again!" 

Do it! It almost seems like there's a sort of "farewell" culture growing, and that you need to do something big. A few young women I know who've entered have had bigger things done (Masses for their intentions, parties, etc.). One girl I know had a very big celebration and invited the sisters she is entering with (she'll actually be entering overseas, but there are some sisters here) as guests of honour (nice, but not my style). Granted, they were going overseas to enter, but even so I was never really a fan of the big celebration. Just something small and simple. I would have had about 40 people or so (family, close friends, my parish priest, sisters from another congregation I'm close to). I cooked food for people and my family helped out a bit too, we just talked and I gave a little thank-you speech. Pretty soon after everyone left, I finished packing and my family took me to the sisters. It was a beautiful day. I really wanted people to know that they could visit me or call me, that I would go for home visits sometimes, and that we'd always be connected in prayer.