IgnatiusofLoyola Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 @dUSt can the no goodbye thread rule come back? I agree. It happens quite frequently that someone leaves Phatmass "forever" only to come back. I've gone on "hiatus" so many times I've lost track. As @Lilllabettt said so well, it's hard to make a good-bye thread with a pure intention, and we wouldn't want anyone to feel embarrassed about changing their mind later and wanting to come back. What I'd say to anyone is that if spending time on Phatmass feels like it's doing more harm than good, then just stop posting. Take a break from logging in. Or, visit once in awhile if you're curious about what's happening, but don't post unless and until you're sure it's good for you to post again. If you have friends on Phatmass, keep in touch via PMs or exchange email addresses. Remember, there is no reason you HAVE to read threads that don't interest you or that might upset you. And, it's perfectly okay not to post in every thread. If someone else has given an answer you like, prop that post, but there is no requirement to make a post of your own. Giving props leaves a "signal" that you're around even if you aren't posting. I haven't had to take a hiatus in awhile because I've gotten MUCH better at either completely ignoring or stepping back from threads that upset me. I've also added a few more people to my "Ignore" list. My "Ignore" list used to be limited to people who were just totally obnoxious, but most of them ended up getting banned anyway. Now, if there is someone whose posts bug me, I just put them on "Ignore." My life pretty much smells of elderberries and I need Phatmass for faith and strength, not to add to my list of hassles. That doesn't mean I wish my "Ignores" ill. In fact, one way I've learned to help myself deal with people who bug me is to consciously pray for the people on my "Ignore" list. I started this last Lent as my "penance" and after Lent I continued the the habit of praying for my "Ignores." I still don't read their posts, but I feel better about myself that I wish only the best for them even if they are very different from me. Note: Phatmass doesn't have a greater number of obnoxious people than any other group of people I've interacted with--school, work, online, etc.. Anytime we interact with a large group there will always be people who don't bring out in the best in us. It's not a weakness of Phatmass. The exception I'd make to the "no good-bye thread" rule is if someone is entering Religious Life and knows they won't have access to the Internet for years--if ever. And, even then, if religious life doesn't work out because God has other plans, even if you said good-bye at the time of your entrance, you are always welcome back. You will get LOTS of virtual hugs and support in Vocation Station. There may be other exceptions to the "no good-bye thread" rule that I can't think of. But, if someone had a legitimate exception (and I pray that it's not a terminal disease), they could contact one of the Mediators of Meh to allow them to make a good-bye thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 @dUSt can the no goodbye thread rule come back? Yes, if you can show me where it is being abused and how it is harming the church. I agree. It happens quite frequently that someone leaves Phatmass "forever" only to come back. I've gone on "hiatus" so many times I've lost track This is like issue #9,654,821 on my priority list, but I might get to it eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 (edited) Edited October 20, 2015 by vee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IgnatiusofLoyola Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Yes, if you can show me where it is being abused and how it is harming the church. This is like issue #9,654,821 on my priority list, but I might get to it eventually. That's fine. I think most of the time "good-bye" threads are not a problem as of now. However, the rule to allow "good-bye" threads was only changed recently, so it will be interesting to see if we start seeing more good-bye threads that are generally for the purpose of lashing out instead of simply notifying others that the person will not be posting in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 That's fine. I think most of the time "good-bye" threads are not a problem as of now. However, the rule to allow "good-bye" threads was only changed recently, so it will be interesting to see if we start seeing more good-bye threads that are generally for the purpose of lashing out instead of simply notifying others that the person will not be posting in the future. The reason I want good-bye threads is because I WANT to see the lashing out. It's the only way I get to see feedback and make improvements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IgnatiusofLoyola Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 The reason I want good-bye threads is because I WANT to see the lashing out. It's the only way I get to see feedback and make improvements. Ah, okay. Makes sense. If the lashing out leads to problems because of people responding in an unhealthy way, then the Mediators of Meh can step in. But, it's too soon to tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Can I lash out without leaving? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Can I lash out without leaving? no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 (edited) The reason I want good-bye threads is because I WANT to see the lashing out. Edited October 21, 2015 by veritasluxmea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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