How to deal with school bullies

[Winchester]

When I was in grade school (Catholic school) if someone was being a bully and you slugged him, it wasn't a big deal. It seems times have changed, and kids are supposed to be little snitches. I'm just wondering if the folk on here are take charge sorts or craven stool pigeons.

[Oremus Pro Invicem]

 

 

[tinytherese]

What I find ridiculous, is when a bully starts beating a kid up and the kid fights back in self-defense but gets in trouble anyway. Apparently, you're supposed to let yourself be injured. 

[Era Might]

Have someone else punch him, create inner circle of henchmen, establish rep as a man who takes care of his friends.

[NadaTeTurbe]

When I was bullied in high school, my friends never, never, never let me alone. Once, at the end of my class, a unknown students came to me and said "hey, I am Y, a friend of X (my friend), he asked me to escort you to the other building." I used to find this annoying, but knowing my bullies, and how much I'm unable to protect myself (I'm a very impulsive person), it probably saved me. 

But I could never counted on my school administration. I remember, one said "I will rape you, you can't protect yourself" (i'm disabled), and the administration only punished him because my parents threatened to call the TV. 

[blazeingstar]

As a kid, duking it out was never to my advantage.  I was badly injured by  a bully once...she dragged me by my hair over 20 yards...and the school did virtually nothing.  She was twice my size and being a female had none of those wonderful pain points males do.

There comes a certian age when kids DO need to figure it out, but honestly, in grammar school kids should feel safe and adults should step in.  In middle school there should be more focus on seeing what you can do, and in highschool, it should be very clear what is bullying and what is illegal.

There are bullies in my workplace, but I've learned to:

1) deal with it in a constructive way

2) speak with the person in order facilitate change

3) speak to the manager if nothing else works

However, if that person hit me than I'd tell my manager, HR then call the cops.  I fail to see why children should do differently.  Schoolyard fights happen, that requires both participants to be willing participants and may be on the side of OK as children understand much of the world through there senses.

 

 

[tinytherese]

How come school administrators tend to do nothing about it anyway? 

[Ice_nine]

we live in a world of helicopter parents and school administrators can't stand up to them for some reason. Maybe cowardice. IDK

But sometimes a bully just needs to be punched in the mouth.

[dominicansoul]

One of my older brothers passed away years ago leaving behind two small sons.  They were too young to really remember their dad, and they have had to rely on us to share memories and what not to help them understand who their father was.  Today they are grown men.  My brother's oldest son told me something that made him very proud of his father.  This nephew of mine was having a tough time getting employed.  having been to several interviews without getting hired was making him desperate...until one day he was interviewed by a man his dad's age...from the same town...who recognized his name (he's named after my brother) and asked him if he were his son.  When my nephew said indeed he was, this guy told him a story of how he was always getting punched out at school everyday from a guy who just hated him for no reason... and as much as he tried to avoid that fella, the bully always found him and dragged him behind a building and knocked him out... It just happened that one day,  my brother witnessed the bully do this and beat the s*** out of that bully.  he made him kneel down and ask this guy for forgiveness.  this guy told my nephew the bully was bleeding out of his mouth and shaking like a leaf and could hardly talk, but he did get down on his knees and ask him for forgiveness.    My brother really messed that bully up bad and this victim never forgot it.  He said that bully stayed away from him for the rest of his school years...He told my nephew that it turns out his dad did this for a lot of "small punks" like him who couldn't defend themselves and was really an outstanding guy... 

 

Needless to say, he gave my nephew the job...

[Norseman82]

When I was in grade school (Catholic school) if someone was being a bully and you slugged him, it wasn't a big deal. It seems times have changed, and kids are supposed to be little snitches. I'm just wondering if the folk on here are take charge sorts or craven stool pigeons.

Obviously if your safety is in danger you need to defend yourself.  I've done it.  I recall an incident where somebody started something with me, I defended myself, we were both sent to the principal's office.  I wasn't punished, and the guy never started something with me again. 

However, I would not use inflammatory language such as "snitch" and "stool pigeon" when kids today are threatened with suspensions just for exercising their right to defend themselves due to "zero tolerance".  The outrage should be directed at the school authorities. 

What I find ridiculous, is when a bully starts beating a kid up and the kid fights back in self-defense but gets in trouble anyway. Apparently, you're supposed to let yourself be injured. 

Unfortunately, figuring out "who is right and who is wrong" is politically incorrect (except if you are trying to get Catholics and other Christians to go against their conscience).  Or, it's just that they are too lazy or overworked and don't want to be bothered with the facts of the cases.  It's easier to cry "zero tolerance" - too bad if innocent parties get caught up in it - but then again, you can't weigh innocence and guilt, lest you be labeled "judgmental".

Edited September 27, 2015 by Norseman82

[NadaTeTurbe]

How come school administrators tend to do nothing about it anyway? 

In my school, it was because : 
- They don't care about the students 
- They don't want their superior (regional superior here) to know that their school is not 100% perfect 
- They don't want people in the school to know that their school is not 100% perfect 
- Difference between the bully and the bullied : if the bully is in a better class thant the bullied, if the parents of the bully are super important in the city, etc... 
but mostly, it's just "our school is a good school without violence. There is no violence in our school. Never, never, never. Shhhht."

[Winchester]

 

However, I would not use inflammatory language such as "snitch" and "stool pigeon" when kids today are threatened with suspensions just for exercising their right to defend themselves due to "zero tolerance".  The outrage should be directed at the school authorities. 

 

I get your idea there, but the respectability of unquestioning obedience should be destroyed. Part of the rise of the police state has come from this idea that unquestioning obedience is a virtue. First must come the recognition that the king has no clothes. Only then will people wrap him up and hopefully throw him off a cliff into shark-infested waters.

They are threatened with more than that. It's quite possible that the school will involve the police, and then churn the kids through the "justice" system.

[Socrates]

The whole idea is to create a mentality of helplessness, in which nobody can stand up for himself or deal with his own problems, but everybody is dependent on the "proper authorities" to fix everything.

[blazeingstar]

The whole idea is to create a mentality of helplessness, in which nobody can stand up for himself or deal with his own problems, but everybody is dependent on the "proper authorities" to fix everything.

Sorry, there's a difference between solving your own problems and telling people in power about physical assault.  Are you really suggesting that if a co-worker punched me because I failed to deliver a report, or laughed and they got mad or looked at them funny I should "handle it on my own?"

Absolutely not!

If it's an assault for my co-worker to hit me, it's still an assault when a child hits another child.  It's not helplessness to make sure that you can live and not be physically attacked.  We should be able to solve our problems, and authority is part of that tool box.  Keep in mind we're talking about bullying, not bickering or other issues.

[Winchester]

Sorry, there's a difference between solving your own problems and telling people in power about physical assault.  Are you really suggesting that if a co-worker punched me because I failed to deliver a report, or laughed and they got mad or looked at them funny I should "handle it on my own?"

Absolutely not!

If it's an assault for my co-worker to hit me, it's still an assault when a child hits another child.  It's not helplessness to make sure that you can live and not be physically attacked.  We should be able to solve our problems, and authority is part of that tool box.  Keep in mind we're talking about bullying, not bickering or other issues.

Retaliation is a human right. Obliging students to run away from a fight instead of removing the fight from the attacker is immoral. It is a violation of basic human rights, and it empowers bullies. Immediate reprisal requires no investigation. There's a reason it's better to just remove the combat from the assailant in the first place. Do you believe that an allegation of abuse should result in immediate punishment of the accused?