Devotion to Mary

[Swami Mommy]

So many of you have expressed a strong devotion to Mary and want it to be a part of your charism if you discern into a community.  With great sincerity I would really like to understand better what people's devotion to Mary is like--the why's and how's and wherefore's.  Because so little is factually known about her other than she was the mother of Christ, she had deep trust and surrender to God's will for her, and she was married to Joseph and lived the typical life of a married woman of her time, what are some of the other reasons for the wellsprings of devotion to her that people use to deepen their spiritual understanding of her role in their spiritual lives?  Do people think of her as the female embodiment of God's creative impulse for our creation?  Are people ascribing perfected qualities of mothering and nurturance to her without really knowing exactly in which ways she lived selflessly for her family and are therefore only ascribing these qualities to her through their own imagination and spiritual sensibilities?  Do people think of her as their own God-mother in a spiritual sense?  Is she thought of as the embodiment of all the noble qualities of life, and so imagining how these qualities played out in her family life as she raised Christ and his siblings (if there were any--that seems up for debate), leads one to a deeper understanding of how to move through one's own life from a higher vibration?

I personally feel very little connection to her as an important aspect of God's love and never think of her in my daily worship, even though I was born and raised as a Catholic in my youth.   I feel like I'm missing some important understanding of her relationship to humanity that is not merely rooted in personal spiritual imagery.  What am I not 'getting'?

[katherineH]

A large part of my devotion to Mary is influenced by her embodiment of perfect femininity.  She teaches me how to be a woman, and how to make a pure gift of myself.  We know that God isn't subject to our definitions of male and female, and so having a female role model of holiness has been very encouraging to me.  I think men are able to see the embodiment of their gender in the person of Christ, and us women get Mary  (even though many men have strong marian devotions).  Her dual vocation as wife and virgin makes her a relatable role model for women of all walks of life.  You're right in pointing out that there aren't many details about her life, which facilitates my ability to relate to her - I can project my own circumstances and experiences onto her (probably not the best spiritual practice, but it works).  Her "fiat" is obviously a strong source of comfort and inspiration for women discerning religious life.  There are many profound theological realities in Mary (Mary as the new Eve, Spouse of the Holy Spirit, etc.) but for me it comes back to having a woman who is a spiritual mother to me, guides me, helps me, in a way only a Mother can provide.  

[veritasluxmea]

This might be better moved to the Transmunde Lane, where people discuss stuff like this. @Ash Wednesday @beatitude

It's hard to answer your question, because it's a relationship with a living person. Do you have a brother or father? What if I came up to you and asked, "How do you see your brother or father? I want to get to know them too. What do you have with them that I don't?" I don't think you could easily answer that- you spend time with them and share things with them. You know them. It's the same for Mary- Jesus took Mary as His mother. He has that relationship with her. Jesus is God, our Father, and He has a Mother. So when we join God's family, the Church, through baptism, Mary becomes our mother. The relationship is already there. You just have to get to know Mary. Spend time with her in prayer through the rosary, think about her and how you think she would be like in your heart, entrust things over to her like problems you have or if you want something, and you get to know her. 

This might be better moved to the Transmunde Lane, where people discuss stuff like this. @Ash Wednesday @beatitude

It's hard to answer your question, because it's a relationship with a living person. Do you have a brother or father? What if I came up to you and asked, "How do you see your brother or father? I want to get to know them too. What do you have with them that I don't?" I don't think you could easily answer that- you spend time with them and share things with them. You know them. It's the same for Mary- Jesus took Mary as His mother. He has that relationship with her. Jesus is God, our Father, and He has a Mother. So when we join God's family, the Church, through baptism, Mary becomes our mother. The relationship is already there. You just have to get to know Mary. Spend time with her in prayer through the rosary, think about her and how you think she would be like in your heart, entrust things over to her like problems you have or if you want something, and you get to know her. 

[Swami Mommy]

Perhaps it's because I had such a truly wonderful mother and was able to observe, firsthand, what it means to embody feminine qualities and to be a nurturing, self-sacrificing mother, that I don't feel a particular need to focus on Mary.  I have a greater need, perhaps, to work with incorporating the male qualities of the Godhead into my own understanding of myself.

[beatitude]

So many of you have expressed a strong devotion to Mary and want it to be a part of your charism if you discern into a community.  With great sincerity I would really like to understand better what people's devotion to Mary is like--the why's and how's and wherefore's.  Because so little is factually known about her other than she was the mother of Christ, she had deep trust and surrender to God's will for her, and she was married to Joseph and lived the typical life of a married woman of her time, what are some of the other reasons for the wellsprings of devotion to her that people use to deepen their spiritual understanding of her role in their spiritual lives?

You say that those things are little, but they're huge - especially the part that I put in bold. Our Lady was the first Christ-bearer. Literally. We all receive him in Communion, but she carried him in her womb for nine months. I'm not a mother, I don't know the intimacy of pregnancy and childbirth, but other women do and it must be awe-inspiring and incredibly hopeful for them to consider that everything they feel for their unborn children and then their newborns, Mary felt for the Son of the Living God. She was close to him in a very special way, in a way that no other human being can be close to him. She bore him. She fed him with her own milk. He was fully human and fully divine, and his humanity came from her.

This is why I like to ask her help before Communion, when I too bear Christ literally, using the words of Bl. Mother Teresa of Calcutta: "Mary, give me your heart, so beautiful, so pure, so immaculate, your heart so full of love and humility, that I may be able to receive Jesus in the Bread of Life, and love him as you loved him, and serve him as you served him in the distressing disguise of the poorest of the poor." She carried him in her womb and then she held his wounded mangled body at the end - who better to ask for help than her, whether I'm about to receive the Eucharist or going to work in a refugee camp? She teaches me to recognise him when I can't.

In the Bible Jesus works his first miracle in response to her intercession. She went to him at Cana, and then he acted. His last act on the cross was to entrust her to the Church as our own mother. It makes sense that we turn to her. When I'm struggling with anything, I ask my friends for prayers, and if it's something big, I might look for a friend who seems especially wise or who has great faith. If it's something small, I look for that person again, as I know that they will be too big-hearted to dismiss it as trivial. Again, who better than Mary? She was close to him then and she's close to him now. The nature of that closeness is contained in the word kecharitomene, the Greek word in the New Testament meaning 'full of grace'. The English translation doesn't do it justice. It suggests that she was brimming over with it. This is an unusual way to describe someone. It marks her out as someone unique. We are cleansed by grace, but she was brimming with it from the start: she had no sin. To be sinless means that you are perfectly free, exactly the person God created you to be, no disfigurement. And the sight of that naturally draws us, the way flowers are drawn to light.

I think it is too narrow to view Mary as just an expression of feminine qualities (I don't think qualities are determined by chromosomes  ) or even just an example of what it means to be a good mother. She can be that, of course - I have a friend who was abused by her own mother as a child, and even though she belongs to a Protestant church, she has always been close to Mary because she needed a loving mum and didn't have one. But just because I have a terrific mum doesn't mean I can say that I don't need Mary, in the way I might say I don't need another pair of shoes - her kindness and love as a mother flow from her closeness to Christ, and we all need that. She brings him to us, as she did for her cousin Elizabeth before he was even born; and us to him, as she did with the couple at Cana.

Finally, I don't think anyone can feel a need for Mary without first feeling a need for Jesus at the heart and centre of their life. That is where devotion to her comes from.

Edited September 5, 2015 by beatitude

[Swami Mommy]

Yes, moving this thread to Transmundane Lane might be a better venue for this topic.  Sorry if I put it in the wrong place.

[Gabriela]

Where do I start? I don't think I have "devotion to Mary" in the way a lot of others do. I'm a convert from Judaism, and Jews are innoculated against Christ. Hardcore. It's really, really hard for a Jew to accept Christ as savior, much less God. I absolutely could not.

But I really, really wanted to. And I tried everything. Nothing worked, until one day I bought a rosary at a parish shop, and sat down to pray it. It took googling around forever to figure out how to use it. Finally I just settled on one version of it and started saying it. Around the beginning of the second decade, I felt surrounded by a dense, wide, high "aura" of something. I could physically feel the pressure of it. It was love. I knew instantly it was her love. I started sobbing, and sobbed the whole rest of the rosary.

I have mother issues. My mother and I have never gotten along. My therapists have said I was quite neglected as a child. Feeling a mother's love—a mother's perfect love—the way I did that day forever changed me. And forever indebted me to Our Blessed Mother, Queen of Heaven, Help of Christians.

Since then, I turn to her when I'm feeling disappointed by God. When He seems far, she seems near. And through her, I come back to Him.

I've had several other experiences since then that have only further strengthened my love of her. In one, she made it clear she was leading me to Jesus—but I was not yet converted, and asked her to stay with me instead. LOL. In another, she made it clear she had been with me even in childhood, when my own mother wasn't.

I say these things not to boast about my "mystical experiences" (they weren't, really), but only to make the point that devotion to Mary typically arises from personal experience with Mary. Thus, veritas is quite right that our devotion to Mary is very similar to our love of a family member. It's personal and intimate and experienced as a real, human relationship. So, while asking why people have devotion to Mary is totally legitimate and a good thing to do, the only real way to understand people's devotion to Mary is to develop a relationship with her oneself!

And for that, the rosary is an excellent tool.  

[Selah]

 

Since then, I turn to her when I'm feeling disappointed by God. When He seems far, she seems near. And through her, I come back to Him.

I like this a lot. I feel like this is me too.  

Edited September 5, 2015 by Selah

[MarysLittleFlower]

Gabriela, wow I had to read that several times. That's so beautiful

Swami Mommy, that's a good question and I really enjoy talking about Our Lady so I'll probably end up writing some overly-long post.. lol.. but I hope something here would be of help

I totally agree with the others that we can have some sort of relationship with Mary. She's not just a theory. I have my own story with her.

I grew up entirely without a religion but I know now for several reasons that Mary was always in my life though I didn't know it. When I became a Protestant in university, I was told that "Catholics worship Mary" etc, and  people made it sound like there's a competition between devotion to God, and devotion to her. I couldn't see that there's a difference between worship and veneration, and also that Mary leads us to Jesus and that any experience of her is actually made possible by God, and is His way of helping us too - through her prayers. I had really negative emotional reactions to Marian devotion. It doesn't sound like you have that but that's just what happened to me.

As I was becoming Catholic, I knew I'd have to overcome that and asked God to help me to love Mary too. I was really interested in praying the Divine Mercy chaplet and it's prayed on Rosary beads, so I decided to go and buy a Rosary. I went into a story and bought my "top secret" Rosary that I didn't show to any of my friends. I came home and decided to try praying it. I have to say that I was really really nervous. A lot. I was scared of offending God somehow. But I wanted to believe the Church was correct on this.

As I started praying, I had a very distinct impression that both Jesus and Mary are listening to me, together, and that there is truly no competition between them. I was so relieved and happy and the Rosary brought me peace. However, I wouldn't say that after this I was especially close to Mary.

I began learning about her. So I learned that she is our Mother. The thing about Mary is that she's totally human, a creature, yet she's perfect and sinless. To me she is a model of femininity but so much more. In Marian devotion, there is veneration of her excellence, a feeling of gratitude and joy that God made someone so beautiful - but this is encouraged by the fact that she LOVES us. I mean - I had no idea of how much she loves us and I'm sure I still don't... but she is filled completely with God's love - God gave her a beautiful, tender heart, that loves as no mother can love on earth. I love my mom on earth but I see Mary as my spiritual mother, and I just feel an affection for her. There are times when I am not as attentive to her as I should be - most of the time probably.

But there is more about Mary too. She's the Mother of God, and our Mother spiritually, because God gives us graces through her. I don't mean in the way like Christ is the Mediator, but rather her intercession/mediation is within His and secondary. It's like if Christ is the Head of the Church, she is the neck. So she leads us closer to Jesus. She has helped me so many times when I needed help - either spiritually, or emotionally. I've also found that her intercession is incredibly powerful. God doesn't refuse her because she only prays according to His Will, and because she is His Mother. (when I say His Mother, of course I don't mean that she made His divine Nature, rather that she bore Christ who is fully human and fully divine).

She is also the New Eve, the new Ark of the Covenant,.. we use various titles to describe her role in God's Kingdom. She's the Queen of Heaven and Earth. Sometimes I approach her as a Queen and other times more as a gentle Mother. She always loves us no matter what, - she is always gentle, - the Mother of Mercy.

As I was becoming Catholic, I discovered St Louis de Montfort's "True Devotion to Mary". This book is very ...mystical? anyway I had lots of trouble understanding it at first especially as an ex-Protestant. I asked St Louis to pray for me to understand it. That evening, I wasn't really thinking too much about it but I was listening to a beautiful Ave Maria recording. I began praying the words really slowly with the song. As I was praying it, I had an experience of Mary. I only say this to illustrate how she could work in our lives, not to say that there's anything different about me. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had an experience of Mary. I think it was just something I must have needed to discover devotion to her, because of my emotional difficulties coming from Protestantism. It was God's mercy. Anyways, I suddenly felt her presence there and I knew it was her, and I felt such perfect love come from her. It moved me so deeply and ever since then, I can't say how but I suddenly understood "True Devotion", and Marian devotion in general, and she became like a mother to me who I love.

Later, I made a consecration to Mary and since that time, she's helped me so many times in my life. I really can't exaggerate. Anyways, to me she is a person who I know and that's what makes it sort of 'come alive' - so it's not just doctrine, but something that is lived out in my life. I know she would always take care of me and always lead me closer to God and teach me to love Him. She's my Queen and my Mother. What I feel for her is a combination of love and veneration... I don't mean veneration as just respect, but some sort of ...I don't know, awe and gratitude about how God created her. I don't worship her with the worship I give to God alone. I love God for His own sake, and love for Our Lady always points to Him. Jesus is the end of devotion to Mary.

I hope that helps God bless you!

A lot of my view of Our Lady I try to express in my art/writing. Here's a drawing of Mary https://maryslittleflower.wordpress.com/2015/06/29/our-lady/ I believe she helped me, I take no credit for it. Here's a poem I wrote after my consecration to her. I guess it's more devotional than theological so it just shows what I see my devotion to Mary to be "like". I'm not sure if this is what you are looking for or for something more theological or intellectual... but it just shows how one Catholic relates to Mary. https://maryslittleflower.wordpress.com/2014/08/07/poem-to-mother-mary/ everyone's relationship with her is probably different.

[MarysLittleFlower]

This is also a very beautiful account of St Gemma's relationship with our Blessed Mother: http://www.stgemmagalgani.com/2008/10/blessed-virgin-mary-and-st-gemma.html 

[AccountDeleted]

So many of you have expressed a strong devotion to Mary and want it to be a part of your charism if you discern into a community.  With great sincerity I would really like to understand better what people's devotion to Mary is like--the why's and how's and wherefore's.  Because so little is factually known about her other than she was the mother of Christ, she had deep trust and surrender to God's will for her, and she was married to Joseph and lived the typical life of a married woman of her time, what are some of the other reasons for the wellsprings of devotion to her that people use to deepen their spiritual understanding of her role in their spiritual lives?  Do people think of her as the female embodiment of God's creative impulse for our creation?  Are people ascribing perfected qualities of mothering and nurturance to her without really knowing exactly in which ways she lived selflessly for her family and are therefore only ascribing these qualities to her through their own imagination and spiritual sensibilities?  Do people think of her as their own God-mother in a spiritual sense?  Is she thought of as the embodiment of all the noble qualities of life, and so imagining how these qualities played out in her family life as she raised Christ and his siblings (if there were any--that seems up for debate), leads one to a deeper understanding of how to move through one's own life from a higher vibration?

I personally feel very little connection to her as an important aspect of God's love and never think of her in my daily worship, even though I was born and raised as a Catholic in my youth.   I feel like I'm missing some important understanding of her relationship to humanity that is not merely rooted in personal spiritual imagery.  What am I not 'getting'?

Like you, Swami, I had a mother who was all that a mother should be. To me, she was a saint. I don't think I ever heard her get angry or mean or nasty and she was generous to a fault. I adored her and in the last year and a half of her life, nursed her while she was dying of lung and breast cancer. She never complained and was almost unbearably grateful for anything anyone did for her. She passed away in peace.And she was not a Catholic or even a religious person. She would describe herself as spiritual, not religious, but she was accepting of everyone else's beliefs.

So I didn't 'need' a mother figure in my life. And yet despite that, it was through Mary that I actually came to Jesus. I fell in love with the Rosary after praying it with our neighbors when I was a child. They had a large Catholic family and they hung all their Rosaries on hooks in the kitchen and every night at 6pm, they would take them down and pray it together. I used to go over to their house just to join them. I have never lost my love of the Rosary and I believe it is a very powerful prayer. When I have been at my most upset, I have recited it until I could feel peace again.

When I read about Mary, I am impressed by her qualities of trust and simplicity, and the way she intervened for the people at the wedding, so they wouldn't be humiliated. I imagine that she endured a lot living in those days, especially when Jesus left her to begin his ministry. But she followed and served and was with Him through to the end. She is not only a good example of a woman, but also of a disciple. These things alone are enough to make her admirable. 

But just as you probably have a strong spiritual connection to your teacher, we Catholics have a strong spiritual connection to our teacher, Jesus. Loving Jesus, how can we not love His mother, especially as she is such an example for us? And Jesus showed us that death is not the end, so we can feel a strong spiritual connection to many people who are in heaven, such as saints and loved ones.

But each one of us has an individual relationship with Mary, just as we do with Jesus, so probably no two Catholics will explain it in quite the same terms.

 

[Ash Wednesday]

I love Saint Gemma!  

Perhaps it's because I had such a truly wonderful mother and was able to observe, firsthand, what it means to embody feminine qualities and to be a nurturing, self-sacrificing mother, that I don't feel a particular need to focus on Mary.  I have a greater need, perhaps, to work with incorporating the male qualities of the Godhead into my own understanding of myself.

Thank God for great mothers!  

In my case, it was perhaps because I did have a great mother that I also have a close relationship with the Blessed Mother and took to having a mother on a spiritual level as well. I think it's the feminine quality of Marian spirituality that has appealed to me as well.

My devotion to Mary became even stronger after my mother died and I continued to need some motherly guidance in my life when I no longer had my mother there. It went hand in hand with my Catholic faith serving as a compass in my life and something I've drawn from through hard times in my life.