Women's Discernment Group

[katherineH]

Hello friends,

I lead the women's discernment group at my parish and have had a lot of difficulty getting women interested and involved.  I think one of there reasons for this is that when college students get overwhelmed with work and school, discernment is usually the first activity that gets axed and understandably so.  Homework has a due date, not discernment.  Last year, we did a lot of information-based activities, meaning learning about religious life, reading books on religious life, etc.  We're burnt out on information now so I'm going to focus the year on praying through discernment.  We are going to meet once a week for a holy hour at our adoration chapel and read through a book on the nature of vocation, and get together once a month for an update/debrief/hang out/fellowship time.  I really want to focus the group on the needs of the discerners but am not getting much feedback or interest.  Do you have any suggestions? I'm feeling stuck! 

[Gabriela]

I think the problem might be that you're giving them more of what they get in school (information) and that you're giving them stuff they can get independently (online). The former increases burnout; the latter doesn't encourage them to come to the group.

My suggestion would be to make the group more social. That way they'll use it to procrastinate on their schoolwork.  

In other words: It sounds like your plan for change is along the right lines.

Also, free pizza will always draw students.

[Feankie]

Have you ever thought about preparing a short survey asking THEM what they'd like to do/read/etc. ?  It often helps if they are more involved in the planning process.  Of course, you can word the survey/questionare so it's more slanted in where YOU'd like the group to go.  Input equals ownership which equals increased participation and interest. 

[BarbTherese]

What about inviting a nun or religious sister to the group to speak about religious life and her particular Order and answer questions, followed by supper.  Advertise it in the parish bulleting.

[DominicanHeart]

I really want to start something like this at my Church. It's hard to get people involved in anything at my Church. Our youth group has really dwindled over the course of the last year. Its so hard.

[SophiaMaria]

I agree with Gabriela that free pizza draws students. Free food motivates college aged students. 

 I'm not sure if you have some good religious in your area but it's nice when you can have various religious come to speak about their community and tell their vocatIon story and field questions. I think also just having time to spend with others who are discerning is a huge blessing. Good luck.

[TheresaThoma]

I would definitely focus on making it a bit more social. Maybe plan some outings. Such as visiting a local shrine or community or even just a fun outing like going to get ice-cream. I would also ask for ideas from people who have come. See what they want/need. Also someone might be willing to lead a few activities/events.

I know once in a discernment group I was part of we had a fun meeting and learned how to make knotted rosaries. It was really nice to just be together and do something faith based but not really discernment focused.

[katherineH]

Thanks everyone for your feedback! I put together a survey last year and got some decent feedback, but then nobody would show up for the activities that they requested... Several girls said they wanted to pray the rosary together weekly, so we set a time for that, and then they would never come... It was frustrating.  I like the idea of doing more social things! Maybe that would help deconstruct the somber view of discernment (i.e. go lock yourself in the adoration chapel for 6 hours until you reach a state of ecstasy in which you receive your calling - sometimes I feel like this is how people view discernment ) 

Unfortunately there aren't any vibrant and/or habited communities in our diocese, all of them are LCWR except the Theresian Carmelites in OKC.  I might reach out to them.  Maybe we could attend Mass at the monastery some time.

I'll let you know how it all goes - thanks friends you're the best

[Swami Mommy]

Nowadays it seems as though few are even called, despite the best discernment tools out there.  I'll bet, though, that if you could somehow arrange an agreement with a nearby Catholic University to offer a class for credit on Vocational discernment and could offer the class on the university campus itself, you might find that a lot of girls would be willing to take the course. If their time is limited by their general degree requirements and by working part time to earn tuition money, then potentially being able to take the course for credit would feel like a good dual use of their limited time.  You would have to create a syllabus and reading list to present to the university, and maybe one of the priests in your parish would have a contact there that you could talk to.  In my area even the local State-run public university has a Catholic Newman Center which might be willing to host such a program (although not for credit).  Or, maybe you could discuss with your parish priest the option of offering the class through an adult education program that advertises in the community in order to reach a broader base of discerners.  You might also want to consider sending out an invitational ad to other churches in the area to put in their Sunday bulletins or on their websites.  Like the fishermen on the Sea of Galilee, you may have to throw your nets out often and in a wider area in order to reach young women who are truly interested in religious life.  Do you have a title for your group's content matter like "Whispers of the Heart" or "Discovering (or Embracing or Honoring or Trusting) Your Soul's Longing". (Or Purpose, or Destiny).  Or maybe the title needs to sound more secular in order to emphasize the contemporary relevance of religious life, like "Living a Life of Service and Meaning".  Do you have an interesting descriptive blurb that touches the heart and lists what happens in discerning  ANY lifestyle options?  I would love to learn more about what you have already covered in your meetings, and whether you were able to host a weekend discernmeant retreat at a local monastery.  Have you offered group volunteer opportunities in an apostolate venue, like serving food in a soup kitchen, to create a sense of shared experience and commitment within the group of discerners?  This sounds like such a neat thing that you are doing.  I wish you much success.

Edited August 29, 2015 by Swami Mommy

[Benedictus]

Maybe invite some speakers, network around a cluster of parishes, get as many people as possible to promote the group, use newsletters and diocese promotion. Maybe have a notice given at the end of mass and some info so people can contact you. Be clear as to why is it a group just for women etc

If the group is small and or flaky then it needs a critical mass as priority, even if tiny. Don't invite speakers, religious etc that don't interest anyone or aren't going to appeal to vocations. Do what you'd like and see if that attracts a keen group of people. Only compromise if you get nowhere. If you try and please other people who aren't really bothered about the group then it loses focus.

Is the diocese or someone else doing something similar already? Is there another lay group locally that could give you tips on increasing involvement. Maybe link with a youth, campus, event or group already operating? Don't make it too formal or too boring.

Maybe have a meeting and then go watch a movie, have some drinks or something. Try something early on where people have to follow up and take it more seriously, such as making a booking or putting down a small payment for a meal or food. That encourages them to show up and develop routine.

Edited August 29, 2015 by Benedictus

[MarysLittleFlower]

Swami Mommy: "Nowadays it seems as though few are even called, despite the best discernment tools out there."

I've kind of thought about this topic too.. It seems to me like God does call people, but many possible vocations are not encouraged, or people grow up in a very worldly environment that sort of 'strangles' them. Children don't grow up being aware of vocations, why they may be important, or even seeing many consecrated people. Many Catholic families are also not having many children like before and there are less practicing Catholics. All this might contribute to the vocations crisis today.

I think a discernment group is a good idea - I've never been a part of one though and I'm not too sure what works and what doesn't.. I think inviting guests could be a neat idea

[katherineH]

 

Nowadays it seems as though few are even called, despite the best discernment tools out there.  I'll bet, though, that if you could somehow arrange an agreement with a nearby Catholic University to offer a class for credit on Vocational discernment and could offer the class on the university campus itself, you might find that a lot of girls would be willing to take the course. If their time is limited by their general degree requirements and by working part time to earn tuition money, then potentially being able to take the course for credit would feel like a good dual use of their limited time.  You would have to create a syllabus and reading list to present to the university, and maybe one of the priests in your parish would have a contact there that you could talk to.  In my area even the local State-run public university has a Catholic Newman Center which might be willing to host such a program (although not for credit).  Or, maybe you could discuss with your parish priest the option of offering the class through an adult education program that advertises in the community in order to reach a broader base of discerners.  You might also want to consider sending out an invitational ad to other churches in the area to put in their Sunday bulletins or on their websites.  Like the fishermen on the Sea of Galilee, you may have to throw your nets out often and in a wider area in order to reach young women who are truly interested in religious life.  Do you have a title for your group's content matter like "Whispers of the Heart" or "Discovering (or Embracing or Honoring or Trusting) Your Soul's Longing". (Or Purpose, or Destiny).  Or maybe the title needs to sound more secular in order to emphasize the contemporary relevance of religious life, like "Living a Life of Service and Meaning".  Do you have an interesting descriptive blurb that touches the heart and lists what happens in discerning  ANY lifestyle options?  I would love to learn more about what you have already covered in your meetings, and whether you were able to host a weekend discernmeant retreat at a local monastery.  Have you offered group volunteer opportunities in an apostolate venue, like serving food in a soup kitchen, to create a sense of shared experience and commitment within the group of discerners?  This sounds like such a neat thing that you are doing.  I wish you much success.

Thanks for your help Swami Mommy! I think offering a class is beyond the scope of what I can do at this point... I like the idea of serving together in the community!

We had several different activities last year in addition to weekly holy hours: we went on discernment retreats, brought in a spiritual director to discuss importance of spiritual direction, had a sister come talk to us about how to pray while discerning, had a movie night, and had a married couple from our parish come talk to us about the vocation to marriage.  A lot of it was normalizing discernment and deepening our understanding of vocation.  A lot of girls don't know what vocation and discernment are.  It seems like a very esoteric process so meeting other women who are on the same journey goes a long way.   

[TheresaThoma]

Something else to consider is maybe it isn't what you are doing but other reasons why people aren't coming. Maybe the location is too hard to get to, or the time is not good. For example for some reason most things in my diocese seem to happen on Thursdays. So there are a lot of things that I would like to go to but I can't because I am already committed to something else.

Serving in the community would be a great idea. Maybe something as simple as helping at a soup kitchen or other charity or something more long term like helping teach religion classes. I know many parishes that would be grateful for a bunch of young women to come help out as catechists.

But above all else keep meeting. Even if only a couple of you are able to meet. If you are consistent then others will start coming as well.