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family situation


MarysLittleFlower

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MarysLittleFlower

I am facing really extreme family situation because of my discernment and faith related decisions... I am very afraid and I would be grateful for any prayers:( I can't imagine what would happen in the future as my vocation progresses. Please I ask for any prayers thank you :( 

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MLF,  I'll keep you and your situation (as much as I know about it) in my prayers.  Please, please find yourself a S.D. or a trusted "older" adult to talk with.  You need a sounding board other than Vocation Station.  This seems to be an ongoing situation with you and it's not going to be resolved until you do.  These things have a way of expanding and creeping into every facet of life, so I urge you to deal with it now before it deals with you in a way you'll not understand or be at peace with.

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I can only agree with Francis Clare. Please, get help from someone with more life experience, someone who is not involved with your family and can see the situation more clearly from the outside. I can assure you from my own hurtful experience that it can help even if you think you know how to deal with everything.

I will keep you in my prayers. 

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MarysLittleFlower

Thank you for the replies and prayers everyone! Just to clarify I do have an SD and I'm planning on meeting with him soon but I'm in another city. I have to wait till I can get back. 

I'll pray for you and your family, MLF :buddies:  I hope you are not in any immediate physical danger?

Marigold, I'm not in physical danger but  just other things are going on

Thanks again everyone :) i appreciate the prayers!

 

Edited by MarysLittleFlower
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May God enfold you and your family in His unwavering peace and support as you deal with your family's financial situation and its impact on your discernment options.  May I ask how old your parents are?

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MarysLittleFlower

Swami Mommy, my parents are in their 60s. The issue right now isn't about the financial situation so much, I mean that is still there but the issue right now is a family member really wishing for me to marry and how my decisions affect my family. I'm feeling really guilty but not sure what to do :( I want to do God's Will though first. I'd have to speak to my SD.

Edited by MarysLittleFlower
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Ok, I've got to chime back in here with my 2 Cents.......

I'm going to put my S.D. hat on now and I don't intend to be harsh, but some very tough questions need to be asked.  It's not my place to ask as I have no relationship with you (except posting on this Phorum) but ask yourself honestly....

Who IS this family member who wishes you to marry?  Why does he or she appear to have sway over your decision-making? Who gave them that power?  Did you? Or did they just take it?  Remember this..it's your life, not theirs.  That person is not one of your parents (or so it seems).  There's a huge guilt trip going on here and one side appears to be feeding off the other.  

Your ultimate vocation and happiness is dependent on your choices, not those forced on you by others.  As difficult as it may seem, no one is responsible for you but yourself.  You must make the decisions that will make you happy (within reason of course) as you will never, ever make everyone else happy all the time.  There will always be one thing or another that will bother or irritate someone else about you behavior, choices, hairstyle ,clothing, you name it.  The list is not exhaustive :)

I will continue to pray for you.

Edited by Francis Clare
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MarysLittleFlower

Francis Clare, it is one of my parents... they just want me to be happy, but don't believe that not marrying would lead to happiness. They didn't grow up with any religion so it must be difficult for them to accept the reasoning the Church would give.

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Would one or both of them be open to an informal meeting with you and a Sister?  Perhaps that would dispel their fears.  Have they given you concrete reasons for they're believe you would be unhappy in R. L.?  Or has it just been generalities?  Can you provide them reasons that you WOULD be happy in R.L.?  Does it involve not having grandchilden?  You know, there might be the chance that you would not provide them with that gift (for various reasons that we don't need to go into here)?  I get the sense that they are afraid.....not for you, but for themselves.  Can you broach that subject with them in a gentle and non-threatening, accusatory way?  Are you to able to ask them to articulate their fears succinctly and not in generalities?  Perhaps that would give you, and your S.D., some guidance in how to handle this in a tactful, respectful, and loving way.

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MarysLittleFlower

Thank you Comingback :)

Francis Clare, I think right now there's too much tension and the situation isn't calm enough - I don't think they'd be willing to meet a Sister right now.. maybe someday in the future, I'll pray for that. Their reason does involve not having grandchildren I think and just the idea of being "alone" - though to me it doesn't feel like being alone. There's also a view that i'm being affected by others - but I've been thinking of this for six years and I know I'm not copying any friends in their vocation. There's more too and I think it comes from worry perhaps.. I wish I didn't make my family suffer so much :( I cant' say no to Jesus though.. I want to talk to my SD about whether I'm correct in my discernment.

Edited by MarysLittleFlower
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