We've Gone Public!

[Spem in alium]

Today I had the first meeting with my director in two months. This week we are going to begin discussing my entrance to the novitiate (for which I'll hopefully have everything organised by February), and in this next month I will need to take some psychological tests. She sounds very positive about everything. Please pray for us.

[Spem in alium]

I had such an emotionally intense day at work.

I spent time with a couple of men with Alzheimer's who can no longer speak. One man's wife visits him every day, but the other has never had visitors (at least not when I've been there) so I try and spend time just talking with him, smiling at him and holding his hand. Today as I put my hand on his, he put his other hand on mine and looked at me. We stayed like that for a few minutes and until one of the nurses came to change him. She needed to wait for her partner (they do the lifting of residents in pairs) and so while she was waiting she was just watching me with this man. It was very emotionally charged.

Then another man whom I visit, who is a real down-to-earth gentleman, told me that he was wondering what the point of everything is and started talking about euthanasia and said he was very lonely. He appears to be in so much pain (I think he has Parkinson's disease) and is significantly blind. I can't imagine his suffering -- again, all I could do was hold his hand.

And at the end of the day I visited one resident who is very close to dying. She has no family and remembers me as I visit her weekly. While I was with her she was anointed by a priest. The whole time she was saying "Oh Jesus" and asking me and another sister to hold her hand.

Please pray for all of them. It's sometimes very hard to process all these things. I've definitely learned I need to take more breaks during my day so that I can recharge.

[Spem in alium]

Today my godfather (also my uncle, but I like to call him my godfather), his wife and their kids visited me at the convent. A higlight of a tremendously chaotic week. Tomorrow I'm going on a trip to the mountains with four of my sisters -- also exciting.

[Spem in alium]

Had an exhausting day, but with a light moment: Some of the residents asked me to stay and play bocce with them. They were sooo much better than me (my hand-eye coordination is hopeless)! 

[Spem in alium]

Last night I had choir practice. I love my choir, and people are so kind and remember me even though I've been absent for a while. There was one man there, who's a sort of "life of the party" type (one lady, who was really very quiet at the beginning, got a lot more excited and energetic when he came). Pretty soon in, he started making jokes about Islam, 72 virgins, etc. (they weren't lewd or anything, just inappropriate), and it continued all throughout the night. It made me uncomfortable, and I know it made another lady uncomfortable too- she actually made a comment along the lines of "There's a sister in the room!". As I look back I think I should have said something...but of course that's harder to do than it is to say.

[Pax17]

Yes, it's tough to address those types of circumstances.  How about saying something like, "  'John,' we really appreciate the energy and enthusiasm you bring to choir practice, but those types of remarks make some of us here feel uncomfortable."   Keep it light.  If he continues with inappropriate comments, then quietly ask him to stop making such remarks.

[Spem in alium]

13 hours ago, Pax17 said:

Yes, it's tough to address those types of circumstances.  How about saying something like, "  'John,' we really appreciate the energy and enthusiasm you bring to choir practice, but those types of remarks make some of us here feel uncomfortable."   Keep it light.  If he continues with inappropriate comments, then quietly ask him to stop making such remarks.

Thanks Pax. I think it's something I will address if it happens again.

I had a very full-on day with my volunteer work in a food pantry. The organisation has changed our system of collecting data from those we serve (we now need to fill out forms every time they come to us for assistance) and it's left many people up in arms. We had our liason with the organisation visit us today to give me and another volunteer a run-through with these forms. She ended up being an hour late due to getting lost, and to top it all off two members of our outreach leadership committee suddenly showed up and really gave it to her. She handled it really well, and afterwards I had a little chat to her and tried to make her feel reassured. She's only new in the role (a matter of months) and has come into it at a very difficult time, so it can be daunting. Please pray for us. We're one of the only outreach places of this kind in our area, and with roughly 60-70 people visiting us each week we're very much needed.

[Spem in alium]

Today is my formation director's feast day (we celebrate feast days in our congregation as well as birthdays). Please keep her in your prayers!

[Spem in alium]

Last night I went with my superior to a talk called "Vulnerability with God", which was given by the youth minister serving at the parish where my superior works. We felt a bit awkward being there because it turned out to be a youth group event (it was advertised on Facebook and it said that 200 people were going or something like that), so only about 10-15 people were there, most of them youth group members. It was good to see a vibrant youth group (I come from a parish where pretty much every youth group has crashed and burned), and the talk was really excellent.

[Spem in alium]

Last night when I was talking with my family on Skype, they had a visitor: our former parish priest who is a good family friend and who's really supported me a lot since I was very young. We don't see him often (he now lives interstate) but he would always show up unexpectedly and surprise us, which we loved! It was so nice to talk with him too!

[Spem in alium]

A lady I visited occasionally at our aged care has passed away. Last time I visited her (last week) she wasn't herself, but she wasn't too sick so we (Sisters at least, not sure about nursing staff) are quite surprised.

One resident I'm particularly friendly with is dying. I met him accidentally last year (he used to live next to a resident I visit often, and one day we just happened to get talking) and have visited him every week I've worked there ever since. I saw him a few days ago and he was awake but didn't communicate besides indicating he wanted water. His family was with them, so I met them and assured them of my prayer. His son mentioned to me that on Friday he said he was ready to go, and since then he's deteriorated. The power of the human will is just amazing.

[Spem in alium]

Wow! Things are now getting more serious with novitiate prep. I need to begin everything in February as there is an inter-congregational novitiate program here which starts then (it's offered to congregations who only have a small number of novices).

There was a really cute moment with my formator the other week. She had asked me previously if I wanted to wear a veil during my novitiate, and I said yes. At our meeting, she said, "I know you already told me, but just remind me: do you want to wear a veil during the novitiate?" I said "Yes, I do" and she said, "I brought one back from Poland for you" (she was there for WYD and home visit).  

I'll soon book my psychological test, which will be done over three days. My formation director also asked me if I want to take a new name (we have the option to do that at the beginning of novitiate). The name my parents gave me at baptism is very meaningful for me, it's fairly easy for me to say (for someone with pronunciation problems, that's important) and so I think I'll stick with it, though my director told me I can change at any time. Plus here (not sure about elsewhere) changing your name as a religious can cause trouble as you still keep your old name in many places.

[Feankie]

Wow, Spem, things are really moving along.  A veil?  What does it look like?  I also have no idea what your habits look like, assuming you wear a habit!  Some sisters I know wear, what they call "civvies" (a jumper, suit, blouse and pantaloons, etc.) and then put a veil on.  Odd, but it works for them :))  Do you stay in your same city for the novitiate?  Or do you move around?  Inter-congregational program.....how interesting.  Do many Orders participate, or is it a fairly small number?  Congratulations to you as your next step is right around the corner.

Edited October 21, 2016 by Francis Clare

[Spem in alium]

12 hours ago, Francis Clare said:

Wow, Spem, things are really moving along.  A veil?  What does it look like?  I also have no idea what your habits look like, assuming you wear a habit!  Some sisters I know wear, what they call "civvies" (a jumper, suit, blouse and pantaloons, etc.) and then put a veil on.  Odd, but it works for them :))  Do you stay in your same city for the novitiate?  Or do you move around?  Inter-congregational program.....how interesting.  Do many Orders participate, or is it a fairly small number?  Congratulations to you as your next step is right around the corner.

Thanks, FC!

It's a short black veil with a white cap underneath, but as a novice I will wear a white veil.

We do wear a habit, but we have a little bit of flexibility in that area. Some sisters wear the full habit (black or grey dress with a white collar), while others wear a white blouse with a black/grey skirt. I wear a blouse/skirt combo and will keep that into my novitiate, as we don't have many sisters here who would be able to sew habits (and definitely NOT me, haha!!!).

I will be staying in my city to participate in the program, but there is quite a good chance I will go overseas for some part. I'm the only candidate in my province, and my provincial and formation director want me to have an experience of a group. It's a huge step but I really feel God calling me to trust Him in it, whatever happens. He's carried me this far.  

About the inter-congregational program, I'm not sure of a lot. It's a six-month program held during the canonical year, and some years it doesn't run because of limited participation. As far as I know it's co-educational also.  It really shows the reality of religious vocations here (my country needs prayer). I think it will be a fantastic opportunity to get connected with other people in my position.

[Spem in alium]

Yesterday I sent an email to my research supervisor, just clarifying a three-hour meeting we'd scheduled on Thursday (at her initiation) and asking if she would be in a position to send me any more work before then (my thesis is intended for submission on November 10). Today I get a response from her accusing me of panicking and telling me that she can't meet. This is pretty much what it's been the last few years. Every time I try and clarify something like that, she thinks I'm stressing, and she frequently cancels but usually ONLY after I've emailed her to ask.

Gah!!! I can't wait for this to be over!