For Healing After Abuse

[beatitude]

A few months ago I requested prayers for myself and for a close friend who had hurt me badly.

I have finally got to the point where I can accept that my friend's behaviour to me was abusive and had actually been abusive for a long time. If they had behaved how they behaved to anyone else, and I'd been a neutral observer, I would have seen it for what it was. As it was me in the situation, I kept making excuses for them and I eventually started to believe that it was my fault and I was causing this terrible hurtful behaviour by not being kind enough/understanding enough/good enough. Even though I can now admit what was going on, it's hard for me to face up to it - as someone who has worked professionally in mental health wards and with abuse victims, I feel almost ashamed for getting into such a situation, as though I should have known better. (Yes, I know that's stupid thinking.)

Last night I referred myself to mental health services for therapy. They got back to me quickly and I have an assessment in a couple of weeks, to decide what kind of treatment would be best. I am pretty badly damaged over this and I would like to feel myself again, so please pray that it all goes well for me. Thanks.