the phorum...

[Guest]

Thanks brother. I'm sure your prayers played a big part.

[Makarioi]

I enjoy reading your posts, MLF.  I don't have the eloquence of writing as  many do here and by the time that I read all of a thread, I'm at a loss for words.  You should have seen me in college trying to start a paper!  Took forever, got frustrated, felt lost and walked away from it. Typed messages don't always come across as we mean for them to: no eye contact, no inflections in voice, etc. Take a break but don't leave!  

Josh:  Congratulations!  keep up the great work! 

 

[MarysLittleFlower]

Thanks! I agree its much easier to speak to people in person!

Congrats Josh! thats great! :D 

[Lilllabettt]

I don't see you that way I think you're right that I look holier than thou though. I'm not sure how to change that... I want to stay faithful to my resolutions but maybe I.should just be quiet about them and keep them secret?  Is it my convictions or how I talk? Some things I feel I need to.follow or I'd be rebelling against my conscience.  

 

Sometimes you post to disagree with someone's opinion. Then when they tussle with you, you suggest that they should "pray" about it. The implication being that if they just pray about it, they will see see the light and realize your opinion is the correct one. That sounds condescending -- and the kinder and more flowery you are when you do it, the more condescending it sounds.

Sometimes your posts get this rigid tone.  I think you don't like to use your reason to figure out stuff so much as you prefer getting told what to do from looking it up in a book (and if so then more power to you because Jesus probably loves those kind of people best.)  But because there's not much reasoning in your posts,  there's not much people can respond to. (please note I'm not saying your posts are nonsense. But you defer almost 100% of the time to some historical authority. You don't prove your point using reason.) 

Nobody has anything to say in response to  "well St. Thomas said ___."  Besides "yes, he said that, so what."  For bad or for worse, most people on message boards like to reason things out in discussion. When you come with your Saint quote or Pope quote or private revelation, it feels like you are saying the conversation should be over.  

I hope you stay. You are interesting and one of a kind around here. You would be missed greatly.

 

 

[MarysLittleFlower]

I see what you mean about sounding condescending... I'm sorry about that. I'll try not to do that. Sometimes I think "if this is the truth, maybe if we ask Jesus He will show. And if not He would show otherwise". I mean I think that way about myself too.

I agree that I cite saints and people instead of reasoning it out. That is just how I decide stuff for myself... I have been wrong with my reason so much that I have some sort of distrust of it. Not reason itself but my reason. So for me if a Pope or Saint wrote on it,thats enough. It doesn't mean I don't discern for myself but my own discernment is usually more prayer than reasoning. I don't mind other people using reason and I'm not anti reason. I just get confused when I try and I'm not good at it. 

[Guest]

and the kinder and more flowery you are when you do it, 

 

 

lol

[MarysLittleFlower]

I think I am afraid about being wrong with everything. I know I have some convictions that are just my convictions. How do we tell if those are God's Will? They came with peace... But i probably look crazy. If we're Christian and seriously want to be saints we look crazy to the world. Then if someone isdiscerning religious life that adds to it. Then I havethose types of convictions. I probably look mad but my intent is just to love God as it is for others here. Why are my convictions not shared by others? Are they wrong then? Is it just my path for some reason? I don't believe I'm better, I have a terrible past and I lack virtues. I don't know... I want my life to be all for God but why this way and is it His Will. Am I crazy lol. 

[Guest]

[Ash Wednesday]

MLF, I would also suggest avoiding the heavy debate threads if they aggravate you, as you said. I generally avoid debating online as a rule, because I get so angry when I do it, usually it makes me distracted when I should be going about my day. I suppose there is a time and a place but it's probably best to avoid those threads if they cause distress.

Veteran phatmassers and Mediators of Meh see debates (often the same ones repeatedly) and we're like:

[Guest]

[BarbTherese]

Untangling oneself from other people's opinions of one can be difficult but not impossible, as can striving not to compare oneself with others.  We are all broken somewhere, we are all gifted somewhere.  I am reminded of St Therese who was so hidden in her intimate spiritual life during her religious life that her fellow sisters thought of her as a good Carmelite, but nothing outstanding.  She was a great saint and theologian in fact.  When St Mary of The Cross MacKillop was excommunicated by her bishop, she humbly submitted and would not say anything against him nor allow her nuns to do so. though she knew he was wrong (later proved).  Most all our saints have suffered for varying periods of voiced negative opinions about them.  In your own journey to holiness and sanctity, MLF, you too are suffering and possibly in ways that you might not be able to explain so that you feel you have indeed fully explained.

You do seem to have very strong convictions and I don't think personally that that is something negative providing one strives to have an open mind open to the movements of The Holy Spirit - if in doubt, one consults a SD.  Take a break if you need to do so, but don't leave altogether, I am hoping.   I would be very sad to see you go completely, I too enjoy reading your posts.

 Strong convictions, like strong coffees, are good!    I think that the journey with Phatmass can be a transforming experience as we listen to, read and interact with others.  I certainly am not the person I was when I first joined and now something of a better person I sincerely hope.  I think we all at times can come across as quite profound, and then at another time as regular a-holes.  Sometimes this might be spot on, sometimes it is just a problem with the written word.   Sometimes one's post might be spot on - at other times entirely off track.  All this no longer surprises me.  It is all the journey - we are all sinners somewhere and we are all saints somewhere.  To laugh heartily is a great leveller and teacher in life - and to laugh heartily most often at oneself!  Healthy laughter is by-product of Joy, one of the fruits of The Holy Spirit.

[Gabriela]

I agree with Ash. I think you're over-posting. I do that sometimes and then get frustrated and have to back off of Phatmass for a while. Sometimes I go away for a week, sometimes a few weeks, sometimes a few months. But when Phatmass doesn't make you happy anymore, it's time to step away for a while.

There's a lot of research on social media: how to use it positively, and how people use it negatively. Overuse commonly leads to lower affect (depression, feelings of loneliness, etc.). It's important to know where your healthy limit is, and to stick to it.

I like you, and hope you won't go away forever. But I understand if you need to go away for a while!

MLF, I would also suggest avoiding the heavy debate threads if they aggravate you, as you said. I generally avoid debating online as a rule, because I get so angry when I do it, usually it makes me distracted when I should be going about my day. I suppose there is a time and a place but it's probably best to avoid those threads if they cause distress.

Veteran phatmassers and Mediators of Meh see debates (often the same ones repeatedly) and we're like:

Man. What a time to run out of props!

[AccountDeleted]

I like phatmass. I have no problem with it or how its run. Its a good idea.

 But sometimes I'm unsure why I'm here... I think I came here because as a convert I sometimes get lonely without talking to other Catholics or I just like to talk to them. But I've been realizing this doesn't take away the loneliness, maybe because what I actually want is talking to Our Lord.. But also sometimes the discussions are debates with many different views, and it feels like there's no unity.

I realize that's how forums work.. But it would be great I think sometimes to just talk about Our Lord. I also see that people have different approaches while all being faithful Catholics who follow the Church teachings, and I can't seem to find souls with a similar approach to mine. In a  way posting online can make you feel more lonely.

Im not blaming anyone: its normal for people to be different. But im thinking maybe posting online isnt my thing.

Im grateful for many posters here and I didn't want to just disappear without explanation after spending so much time talking to them. I'm not saying I am definitely leaving... I'm just noticing how much debating happens here on phatmass and I found myself getting defensive and upset. Maybe I just need to change myself. 

I wanted to ask for forgiveness if I've hurt anyone with my sometimes too passionate views. Maybe its best I learn more silence. I also wanted to thank everyone who has helped me in any way. Please let me know if there's some way I really need to improve. 

I just wanted to let those know who I've been speaking to here, in case I choose to not post on the internet. It doesnt mean phatmass is a bad place. I like it and the people here and I've begun to care for many of you. 

God bless you all  

There is another forum of mostly EF Catholics where you might feel more comfortable called Sub Tuum Praesidium  http://subtuum.com/ . As I recall at the time, there were some Phatmassers who wanted to focus more on the Trad stuff, so they started up their own forum. I visit there from time to time but I don't see a lot of activity happening. Maybe it would be a better place to focus on the things you feel passionate about though?

We didn't used to allow 'Goodbye' threads (people saying they were leaving) except for those doing the countdown to religious life or priesthood. But your thread is more of a 'I can't make up my mind whether I'm leaving or not.' I think maybe you want reassurance that you are still welcome here even though a lot of people debate with you. And the answer is, 'Yes, of course you are welcome here!' 

All of us on Phatmass are individuals and we all have individual opinions about things. Sometimes different people agree about different things,but in the end, we have to understand that an Internet forum is not really a true form of communication - it is more of a 'water cooler', a place to hang out. Lilllabettt said a lot of what I felt like saying but didn't know how to put into words. I felt the conversation about tattoos, which turned into a conversation about make-up, simply became a circular reference. You never seemed to respond to any of the reasoning that others posted, except to repeat your private revelations and the stories of the saints, which however inspiring they might be, are not a template for how every individual should live their life. I think Sr Marie made a great post in that thread, but you didn't seem to respond to anything she said - you simply repeated your private revelations and saint stories again (and again and again). Did it ever occur to you that maybe other people have their own 'private revelations' and convictions about what God is asking of them?

Your passion is wonderful, and your convictions for yourself will stand you in good stead - but your posts do seem to have an overwhelming sense of 'rightness' in that you think you are the only person who could possibly be right. No problem with that - unless you are going to get upset when not everyone agrees with you - then it will feel like others are rejecting you, when really it might just be that they don't agree with you.

The thing you might want to remember is that you aren't the only person who has a personal relationship with Jesus, or a deep sense of what's right and wrong (especially for themselves). So to make pronouncements like 'makeup is bad' (the gist of multitudes of pages) just seem incredibly arrogant. Make-up is bad - for you - obviously. Not necessarily for others. Another poster on Phatmass used to insist that all television was evil and that none of us should watch it. There was a multi-page debate about this too. The thing is that TV might have been bad for him, but not for everyone.

Are you at all able to see what people are saying? If so, maybe try to respond to what is being discussed instead of just repeating yourself. We are not living in 1st century Palestine, or 15th century Spain or 19th century England, or even early 20th century France. We are living in 2015, and that is where we have to become saints. We can emulate the saints, but we can't imitate them - no one is St Therese except St Therese (or any of the other saints). And if wearing a little mascara or lipstick is going to prevent me becoming a saint, then Heaven is a lot stricter than I ever expected it to be! Wow. It's like the Pharisees straining at the gnats and swallowing the camels.

You tried to take a break before when you got upset. Maybe go back to limiting your time here, so that you don't work yourself up into feeling that everyone is against you. We aren't. I'm not - even though I don't agree with a lot of what you post and I get frustrated at the circular referencing. I have found when I start to take it all too seriously though, it's time to make a joke, post a meme or video, or just 'run away, run away' from a thread until I can laugh about it again. 

And I second Lilllabettt - 'Stay. You are interesting'. 

 

[Gabriela]

For the record, I think tv is bad for everyone.

[AccountDeleted]

I don't even own a TV - no point since there isn't really much worth watching. But I do watch Netflix and other online TV channels - for particular programs that I enjoy. 

But then I am also an avid reader so that prevents some serious online video watching.

And of course, I just adopted an 8 month old kitten, who keeps me more than busy cleaning up after her and trying to keep her out of mischief (she loves to leap on the laptop keyboard and she always manages to hit all the wrong keys - the mute goes on, the window closes down - all manner of things happen. She just doesn't get it - the laptop is a 'NO"! So I don't know when I would have time to get addicted to anything!