the phorum...

[MarysLittleFlower]

I like phatmass. I have no problem with it or how its run. Its a good idea.

 But sometimes I'm unsure why I'm here... I think I came here because as a convert I sometimes get lonely without talking to other Catholics or I just like to talk to them. But I've been realizing this doesn't take away the loneliness, maybe because what I actually want is talking to Our Lord.. But also sometimes the discussions are debates with many different views, and it feels like there's no unity.

I realize that's how forums work.. But it would be great I think sometimes to just talk about Our Lord. I also see that people have different approaches while all being faithful Catholics who follow the Church teachings, and I can't seem to find souls with a similar approach to mine. In a  way posting online can make you feel more lonely.

Im not blaming anyone: its normal for people to be different. But im thinking maybe posting online isnt my thing.

Im grateful for many posters here and I didn't want to just disappear without explanation after spending so much time talking to them. I'm not saying I am definitely leaving... I'm just noticing how much debating happens here on phatmass and I found myself getting defensive and upset. Maybe I just need to change myself. 

I wanted to ask for forgiveness if I've hurt anyone with my sometimes too passionate views. Maybe its best I learn more silence. I also wanted to thank everyone who has helped me in any way. Please let me know if there's some way I really need to improve. 

I just wanted to let those know who I've been speaking to here, in case I choose to not post on the internet. It doesnt mean phatmass is a bad place. I like it and the people here and I've begun to care for many of you. 

God bless you all  

[marigold]

I'd be sad to see you go, MLF, but I can understand the thinking behind it. I feel the same way sometimes...

Just promise me that if you do stop posting, you'll use the extra time to do live-ins at communities A lot of things along the lines of what you are talking about just didn't make sense to me until I spent time in monasteries and met people who were just like me.

[puellapaschalis]

There are as many different types of Catholic on Phatmass as there are types of Catholic (allowing for fine-graining). There are lots of non-Catholics on Phatmass. Sometimes people aren't as honest with themselves as to whether they're Catholic or not - let alone with their profiles or other Phatmassers. Lots of Catholics don't really believe Catholicism, both on Phatmass and not. It was ever so, but perhaps it's worse now.

The only person who can soothe the deepest loneliness is Christ Himself (if He choose to); looking for company on a forum even (especially) like this one can be as tempting as any boozer or porn channel or box of delicious chocolates or whatever escape route you care to mention.

Ultimately we interact and witness in the most immediate sense to those around us physically - not virtually (important as online ministries are). Christ is to be sought and found in your heart, not on a website, especially one such as this. Shake the dust if you need to; either way, keep the balance in favour of where He is, and not where He is not.

 

[Guest]

I hope you stay. To be completely honest you come off as a little holier then thou to me but whatever. I know I come off as a complete a-hole. In real life I'm not that bad. I'm sure your online persona isn't exactly like you in real life. At any rate you have good post and I respect your perspective even if it irritates me at times. I know people don't like all my post either. Anyhow hope you stick around. Peace.

Edited August 3, 2015 by Guest

[:o)Katherine:o)]

MarysLittelFlower, I will be sad to see you not come back if that ends up being what you do. I completely understand where you are coming from. Often times I read a thread and do not necessarily post because of the heated debates. Some things are better off discussed in person where you can read body language and also better off when you truly understand someone ie. personality, ticks etc.

I agree with Marigold, if you do not come back I hope that you will spend more time visiting communities.

One thing to keep in mind is that you never know who reads your posts here. I visited often over the years before I joined.

You continue to be in my prayers! I find now that when I am at Mass and during my Eucharistic visits I am whispering prayers for my phtmass phamily. You will find the comfort you long for and the comfort for the loneliness in God. Sometimes it is difficult to see it and to surrender. I will be honest, it is not always warm fuzzies but you will find the comfort in the little things and you will find yourself smiling.

 

[MarysLittleFlower]

Thanks for the replies... I'm sure I have much pride that makes me look holier than thou. I'm sorry about that. I'd need to work on that though I'm not sure how.

I just wanted to say that I have very strong views and part of it is my personality. I noticed a long time ago that when I care about something deeply, i go to the extreme of caring about it. I'm sure there are people here who do way more actual work for God than I do. I do too little. But I get really passionate about things I commit to. If I learn its not the truth (like if its against the Church teaching) I'll drop it. But if not, I have no peace until i follow it.

Maybe my mistake is talking about those topics to others, which probably makes me insufferable. I don't talk so much in real life lol. (I still get passionate about topics though if they come up). I guess there is much in a persons personality that needs to be purified  this all or nothing trait I think shouldn't so affect my discussions with others. Probably there's pride mixed in when I talk about it instead of just striving for sainthood silently. 

I'd be sad to see you go, MLF, but I can understand the thinking behind it. I feel the same way sometimes...

Just promise me that if you do stop posting, you'll use the extra time to do live-ins at communities A lot of things along the lines of what you are talking about just didn't make sense to me until I spent time in monasteries and met people who were just like me.

thanks Marigold I like reading your posts. I do plan on visiting communities maybe I'm expecting people to be like to me too much (however I am lol) wherever I go... Of course people are different especially on a place like a forum 

There are as many different types of Catholic on Phatmass as there are types of Catholic (allowing for fine-graining). There are lots of non-Catholics on Phatmass. Sometimes people aren't as honest with themselves as to whether they're Catholic or not - let alone with their profiles or other Phatmassers. Lots of Catholics don't really believe Catholicism, both on Phatmass and not. It was ever so, but perhaps it's worse now.

The only person who can soothe the deepest loneliness is Christ Himself (if He choose to); looking for company on a forum even (especially) like this one can be as tempting as any boozer or porn channel or box of delicious chocolates or whatever escape route you care to mention.

Ultimately we interact and witness in the most immediate sense to those around us physically - not virtually (important as online ministries are). Christ is to be sought and found in your heart, not on a website, especially one such as this. Shake the dust if you need to; either way, keep the balance in favour of where He is, and not where He is not.

 

I agree that only Christ can heal that loneliness... I often turn to others too much. I don't feel lonely when I open up to Him more.  

As for the forum, I think what I struggle with is that my views tend to be different. Non Catholics posting doesn't bother me. Catholics posting questions doesn't bother me. If a Catholic wrote against Church doctrine that would bother me. Lots of this stuff is not what has been defined as doctrine but its more like a spiritual approach. I think my mistake was talking so much about how I personally feel drawn to living.

I want to become a saint and i believe others do too. I think I should probably keep my own convictions and personal decisions hidden... I don't speak of them as much in real life .. I have some good Catholic friends but when I visit my family I have no friends around. I think it would be better to just keep some things as secrets for Jesus alone and just talk to Him. There's much I never speak of except to my SD but I think I should add more topics to the list and learn more humility through silence. 

[Seven77]

Hey MLF,

 Sometimes posting online can be frustrating, especially when it seems like people don't understand us or try to understand where we are coming from. And then it gets frustrating when we try to explain ourselves and our way of thinking but it just seems to be making things worse! I think we're basically all in the same boat. It seems to me that every family has disagreements, personality clashes, and misunderstandings... it's a real human experience, but one that we can work through and even become better, loving people… the challenge exercises us... we can become real, relatable examples of holiness if we grow through them. To me, this phorum and many of the people who post on it have become an online family. and most of us do have something in common, something that we can have unity in-- our Catholic faith. But you know what I've come to understand? God likes variety, even within our common Catholic experience--- as St. Therese said, we can't all be roses, some of us are violets, some of us are even dandelions! Yeah... so, we are all in this together.

As for my part, I'm sorry if I have offended you with my forthrightness or if I have come across really annoying or whatever.  It's all been because I care God bless you, my sister in Christ.

[MarysLittleFlower]

I hope you stay. To be completely honest you come off as a little holier then thou to me but whatever. I know I come off as a complete a-hole. In real life I'm not that bad. I'm sure your online persona isn't exactly like you in real life. At any rate you have good post and I respect your perspective even if it irritates me at times. I know people don't like all my post either. Anyhow hope you stick around. Peace.

I don't see you that way I think you're right that I look holier than thou though. I'm not sure how to change that... I want to stay faithful to my resolutions but maybe I.should just be quiet about them and keep them secret?  Is it my convictions or how I talk? Some things I feel I need to.follow or I'd be rebelling against my conscience.  

[Guest]

I think you should keep doing what you're doing. I was just being blunt with what I thought. It's just the Internet. It's not a big deal. Voice your opinions. Share your views. Just cause they may irritate a guy like me sometimes doesn't matter. It's all good. Your post challenge people to look at things differently. Someone may end up changing their mind and agreeing with you or stay in disagreement. It's a forum. Conversation is taking place. It is what it is.

Edited August 3, 2015 by Guest

[MarysLittleFlower]

MarysLittelFlower, I will be sad to see you not come back if that ends up being what you do. I completely understand where you are coming from. Often times I read a thread and do not necessarily post because of the heated debates. Some things are better off discussed in person where you can read body language and also better off when you truly understand someone ie. personality, ticks etc.

I agree with Marigold, if you do not come back I hope that you will spend more time visiting communities.

One thing to keep in mind is that you never know who reads your posts here. I visited often over the years before I joined.

You continue to be in my prayers! I find now that when I am at Mass and during my Eucharistic visits I am whispering prayers for my phtmass phamily. You will find the comfort you long for and the comfort for the loneliness in God. Sometimes it is difficult to see it and to surrender. I will be honest, it is not always warm fuzzies but you will find the comfort in the little things and you will find yourself smiling.

 

thank you Katherine for the kind words! I'd be very grateful for prayers and I.sometimes too think of people here. With some you learn about their journey and struggles etc. Even if I leave I'm sure I'll remember people here. Maybe I got too tangled in debates  

Jesus is very kind to us and I believe He wants to be our closest Friend.

Hey MLF,

 Sometimes posting online can be frustrating, especially when it seems like people don't understand us or try to understand where we are coming from. And then it gets frustrating when we try to explain ourselves and our way of thinking but it just seems to be making things worse! I think we're basically all in the same boat. It seems to me that every family has disagreements, personality clashes, and misunderstandings... it's a real human experience, but one that we can work through and even become better, loving people… the challenge exercises us... we can become real, relatable examples of holiness if we grow through them. To me, this phorum and many of the people who post on it have become an online family. and most of us do have something in common, something that we can have unity in-- our Catholic faith. But you know what I've come to understand? God likes variety, even within our common Catholic experience--- as St. Therese said, we can't all be roses, some of us are violets, some of us are even dandelions! Yeah... so, we are all in this together.

As for my part, I'm sorry if I have offended you with my forthrightness or if I have come across really annoying or whatever.  It's all been because I care God bless you, my sister in Christ.

that makes sense, and thanks! I don't feel anger at any particular person and no irritation against you!. I think I just felt lonely after some discussions - probably because I'm some odd dandelion haha. i realize how some of my views may seem. Yea forums are places to grow in patience for sure! In real life too personality clashes are very common so we learn to relate to others. God bless you too!

Edited August 3, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower

[Guest]

What I like about your post is that you are always kind. You never come off as a jerk or a prick. When I say holier then thou that's just my opinion on "some" post. And if we took a vote most would probably disagree with me. So who cares. You love God and you have strong convictions. I admire that.

[Ash Wednesday]

Taking breaks is a good alternative to just leaving completely. I've done that many times over the years.

 

Of course now that I'm a Mediator of Meh I have no choice but to hang around...LOL

[MarysLittleFlower]

Josh, no that's fine, you help me if you tell me how to improve I've wondered why my convictions are as they are and I hope I'm not overly wrong on everything. If most don't share them, either I'm wrong or people are just different. I feel like an oddity sometimes in real life too with my goals. God bless you!

Taking breaks is a good alternative to just leaving completely. I've done that many times over the years.

 

Of course now that I'm a Mediator of Meh I have no choice but to hang around...LOL

Oh now you're stuck! I think.taking breaks is a good alternative too.  

 

Another alternative is just avoiding the really debating threads. 

Edited August 3, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower

[Guest]

You should stick to your convictions. I have a conviction to not drink alcohol. And in another month I will have 2 years without a drink. I'm 100 % sure God gave me that conviction. It doesn't mean everyone else shouldn't drink or that God doesn't want them to drink. Even though there are many good reasons not to and it would probably do a bunch of people a lot of good if they didnt.

Edited August 3, 2015 by Guest

[Seven77]

And in another month I will have 2 years without a drink.

That's amesome… congratulations bro!