Living poverty: a year without new possessions

[beatitude]

The hardest things for me to give away are books, as they feel like old friends. I hoard them. I'm packing a box of children's books to donate to the hospital where I work, and tonight I hit on the idea of offering to send books to friends in exchange for a donation to the charity of my choice. I made a status on Facebook explaining the deal and asking interested people to send me a brief description of what kind of thing they read (with a warning that they may get a wildcard!). Choosing books to suit each person who has replied has been really fun, and it reminded me of what has been discussed earlier in this thread: the power of holy poverty to nurture relationships. It's not hurting me as badly as I thought. Maybe this lessens the sacrifice, I don't know, or maybe it's just God's way of helping me to do what's necessary - Heaven knows I'm rubbish at any sort of self-denial!

[NadaTeTurbe]

11 hours ago, beatitude said:

I went to France over Easter and met with some women from the institute, including my responsable. (I use the French term because I'm not sure what the English equivalent would be - 'prioress' has the wrong connotations in this context, and formation director sounds too formal. Basically she is responsible for me, God help her.) There were some amusing moments as she doesn't speak any English and my French is rusty. At one point (typically when the only English-speaking woman was out of the room) she mentioned responsable polonais and I heard it as "responsible for the nose". When I tapped my nose in bewilderment and exclaimed, "Responsable pour le nez?" hilarity ensued, because she was referring to her Polish opposite number.) In spite of the miscommunications, we established that I'm on course to make my first vows in two to three years. That sounds like a long time but I know it really isn't. Thinking about it, I have decided to extend my time without buying new possessions (which has been very shaky lately) to the time of my first vows. There is a practical reason for this: over the next couple of years I will have to go over to France much more frequently than I do now for various formation events. The train isn't too badly priced with my railcard, but I will need to save every spare penny for these trips. The other reason is spiritual. I feel like the best way to absorb the meaning of the poverty vow is to live without unnecessary purchases cluttering up my home and heart. The women did talk with me about how the meaning and emphasis of my poverty vow will change at different stages in my life (for them, as older women, it means living with the knowledge that they have no family or community to support them in old age and may well end up dying in the anonymity of a care home), so I know it will be impossible to 'learn the meaning' in three years as though I'm studying a textbook. However, I feel that this is the first chapter of the lesson.

Always good to hear about your journey. Praying for you ! 
And if one day you're going to the south, please tell me ! I can't really go up in the North, but I can move in my region. Some of the retired Little Sisters live in my city, they are lovely women to meet ! 

[beatitude]

44 minutes ago, NadaTeTurbe said:

Always good to hear about your journey. Praying for you ! 
And if one day you're going to the south, please tell me ! I can't really go up in the North, but I can move in my region. Some of the retired Little Sisters live in my city, they are lovely women to meet ! 

Je tu remercie pour tes prières. Je pense à toi chaque fois que je voyage en France. Je veux faire un pèlerinage à Lourdes (j'adore Notre Dame de Lourdes et j'ai découvert que notre fondatrice Marguerite Poncet a une dévotion particulière pour lui - c'est un autre raison de visiter) et si j'ai l'occasion de venir j'espèrai tu voir.

Il y aura une semaine pour Charles de Foucauld à Taizé en août, à cause du centenaire. Je ne connais pas si Bourgogne est classé comme au nord pour toi, mais peut-être tu pourrais participer?

(J'écris en français parce que je dois améliorer de toute urgence - je ne veux pas une autre situation avec le nez de la responsable polonaise, ainsi j'utiliserai toutes les chances de parler en cette langue!)

[josephine]

O beatitude, i was on exchange in france for a couple of months and i had a million of nez polonais moments! NEVER let that prevent you from speaking french, all of us were beginners at some point (and most french people i met were incredibly impressed that i tried to learn). 

[although it was not addressed at me, i might be in taize during that week. i will let you know!]

[NadaTeTurbe]

Lourde n’est pas loin de chez moi. C’est magnifique. Je ne sais pas si tu y es déjà allé. Mais l’ambiance est spécial. On ne voit plus les divisions dans l’Eglise : tout le monde est uni. Les malades, les toxicomanes, les vieux, etc… sont au centre et plus aux périphéries. Bernadette et Notre Dame veillent et protègent. Même les « marchands du temple » ont un charme kitsch.

Je serai enchantée de participer. Il faut que je décide de mes dates* de travail pour cet été, et puis je verrai ce qu'il est possible de faire. Je pense essayer de travailler en juillet. 

(Très bien ! Je me permet quelques remarques. Je les fait car ce sont deux « pièges » qu’il faut connaître.

"Savoir/connaître" ne s'utilisent pas dans le même sens : 

Connaître : des gens, des lieux, etc... Exemple : "Je connais cette congrégation religieuse" "Je connais bien Barcelone." 

Savoir : avoir appris quelque chose, savoir faire quelque chose, avoir reçu une information, etc... "Je sais coudre" "je ne sais pas le nom de la reine d'Angleterre" "Je sais déjà ça, etc..."

Je ne sais pas si je suis claire. C'est "tricky" (I don't think there's a good translation for "tricky" !)
On met toujours un déterminant « le, la, l', les» devant un pays, une région, etc… sauf si on utilise « en » : « je vais EN bretagne » « Louis ne connait pas LA Bretagne." 

« Ktotv » (comme ewtn) a mis en ligne des dizaines de reportages d’environ une heure. Il y en a un sur Frère Charles, avec des petites sœurs qui parlent J https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qg05qavxrQ&list=PL3E3E12A62776D448&index=16

Tu parles déjà beaucoup de langues, non ? C’est une richesse. Bravo ! J’admire beaucoup. Dieu nous appelle à faire des choses folles pour lui et apprendre une langue est le plus dur !) 

[beatitude]

Josephine, je suis excité à l'idée d'un rassemblement des Phatmasseurs (Phatmasseuses? C'est ne pas une bonne connotation en anglais, mais je ne sais pas si c'est le cas en français) à Taizé! Bien sur je serais heureux de te rencontrer.

Nada, je n'étais jamais à Lourdes, mais j'ai entendu beaucoup de pèlerins. Une amie est là maintenant, avec les enfants handicapés, et j'ai la 'sainte envie'.  J'espère y faire du bénévolat à Pâques, peut-être. C'est touchant que même les "marchands de temple" sont incluses. Ta description ressemble une véritable mosaïque, comme notre église elle-même.

Merci pour tes explications. Je sais la difference entre 'savoir' et 'connaître' en principe, mais quelquefois c'est difficile de appliquer - j'ai utiliseé 'je connais' parce que je me suis référé à la Bourgogne, qui est un lieu, mais maintenant je remarque que l'élément pertinent est ta perception de la distance entre le sud et la Loire. De temps en temps c'est un peu confusant!

[beatitude]

1 hour ago, josephine said:

O beatitude, i was on exchange in france for a couple of months and i had a million of nez polonais moments! NEVER let that prevent you from speaking french, all of us were beginners at some point (and most french people i met were incredibly impressed that i tried to learn). 

[although it was not addressed at me, i might be in taize during that week. i will let you know!]

Oh, and to lapse into English for a moment, this reminds me of something that happened when I went on an educational trip to Paris with the senior French class in my school, when I was seventeen. There were only about six of us advanced students (it was compulsory to take a language up to the age of sixteen at my school, but no further, and most people dropped it as soon as they could). We were feeling very proud of ourselves for navigating Paris using our French and not being like stereotypical British tourists who can't say anything. As we were crossing the bridge near Notre Dame, a journalist and a photographer from one of the big French papers stopped us and said excitedly that they were writing a piece on how British people come to France without speaking any French, and could they use our photograph to illustrate it? The indignation was too much. One friend said very icily, "But we DO speak French" and the poor journalist looked so disappointed. "I've been trying to get people for a photo for ages!" So the boy with the weakest French of all of us agreed to pose for a photo, pretending to consult a phrasebook that she gave him. We kept an eye out for the article online, but we never saw it.

[josephine]

haha, that's a pretty funny story!

when i was in france, most people were really impressed that i spoke another language apart from french...(even though it was my native language )

 

o those horrible easy to understand but so difficult to apply grammar rules! and the worst is that everything relates to the object. which is le or la. My own language is closer to english in that sense, relating to the subject. I can easily remember that my brother is male, therefore everything he owns is his. But in french, its son/sa portable/vélo/ami/pain au chocolat etc. 

 

Je suis venu à Taizé pour le premier temps l'été dernier, mais j'ai participée quelques fois à les rencontrees europeennes durant l'hiver. (a rome, strassbourg et prague). Le dernier fois, j'ai vu le nouveau film de la vie de frère roger et se me touchait (?) beaucoup. Son idee pour vivre ensemble, dans l'amitié, dans simplicité, dans la misericorde de Dieu, l'idee de trouver la paix et la reconciliation dans notre vie quotidienne...especialement durant les temps comme les notres (?) avec le terrorisme, et le craignte, je pense que c'est très très important de participer activement a creer la paix. 

(Nada, my speaking and listening is intermediate-advanced but im horrible with grammar. sorry if i gave you a heart attack with my writing mistakes!)

[NadaTeTurbe]

(Je pense Phatmasseuse !) Je serai très heureuse de vous rencontrer toutes à Taizé ! J'ai entendu beaucoup de bien sur là bas. Je sais que les religieuses de l'Assomption par exemple y vont souvent. 

Certains détestent les "marchands du Temple" de Lourde, mais pour moi ils ont leur charme. Chaque année, avec une amie, on fait un jeux pour trouver l'objet le plus kitsch  

Josephine, I'm not going to tell you anything, because every summer with my parents we go to a camping in the South West of French, where there's only Dutch, and after 10 summers that I spend with dozens of Dutch, I can only say "Spreekt Frans ?" ! 

[anchoress]

Interesting thread indeed and glad so many are using the idea..Please, though, spare a thought for eg pensioners, who , like myself cannot afford luxuries etc. This idea is our normal everyday life... I am not complaining; I have all I need and am in no deprivation but always essentials only. I use the library etc, glad it is there.  Also I am in rental accommodation and have had to move several times which is a great declutterer. .  note for Mediators of Meh..  phishy? Is why I rarely stay here... worries some.... ah well! 

[beatitude]

19 hours ago, anchoress said:

Interesting thread indeed and glad so many are using the idea..Please, though, spare a thought for eg pensioners, who , like myself cannot afford luxuries etc. This idea is our normal everyday life... I am not complaining; I have all I need and am in no deprivation but always essentials only. I use the library etc, glad it is there.  Also I am in rental accommodation and have had to move several times which is a great declutterer. .  note for Mediators of Meh..  phishy? Is why I rarely stay here... worries some.... ah well! 

I understand that this is how many people have to live and I'm glad to be placing myself in solidarity with them.  I'm starting to see that this is another way of creating community.

Regarding the phishy tag, according to the phorum rules it's given to Catholics who aren't in full agreement with Church teaching, so that non-Catholics using the boards are able to tell what is orthodox Catholic belief and what isn't. Looking at your post history, I can see a few things that might have got you that tag. You say that you're a Catholic nun, but you've also written that you don't see why belief in the Real Presence matters if people are close to Jesus without it, and in one post you announced that you're leaving the Church. This was some years ago, so if your ideas have changed, I'm sure dUSt will agree to change your tag.

[beatitude]

Lately I've been seeing that the tendency to distract myself through shopping that started to appear this time last year was related to loneliness, and that the remedy (learning to value and embrace holy poverty) has helped me to cope with challenges posed by the vow of chastity as well. When I talk about chastity, I'm not referring to sex, but to exclusive relationships of the kind that you can't have in this way of life. I'm a single woman, I'm watching my parents get older and all my friends get married, and just over a year ago I had to end contact with a close friend who had treated me very badly. He has significant mental health difficulties and even now I don't know how much of his behaviour was deliberate, but after two years of increasingly awful behaviour and no sign of him taking any responsibility for changing it, I couldn't manage it any more. All these things left me lonely. Knowing that in this way of life I would never have the comfort of a partner, or possibly even a 'best friend' who is there whenever I reach for the phone (my best friend from childhood is married now, and is a busy doctor, and of course our relationship has changed), made me want comforting distractions. New fiction books and clothes and pretty things distract for a while.

Last night I realised two things. One, I'm happy again. Two, I feel closer to all my friends and people in my life. I feel like I can listen to them better, and that there is less clutter in the way. At the same time, I do feel set apart from them, but not in a bad way - more the way that a tree is distinct from the river running right by it, and the river is distinct from the fish inside it and the boats bobbing along on top. Last night I was wondering if this is what people mean when they talk about detachment. That's always sounded quite scary to me, but if this is it, it's nothing to be frightened of. I anticipate further struggles with it in future - in my experience, whenever I begin to grasp something, I lose my grip on it later on and have to grab hold of it again - but for now I feel that I've got hold of something important. I don't think it would have been possible to understand this if I hadn't pushed myself to embrace poverty more closely, so those two vows are emerging as connected.

Another poverty-related anecdote, but less deep and meaningful: one friend bought me a teapot and another got me two teacups and a sugar bowl. (I love tea.) They don't match and neither design is to my taste. At all. But I have been bringing out this tea-set and using it for visitors. It's hard not to think "Erm-hrrmm..." whenever I look at it, because I like things in my house to express myself and my tastes, and these objects definitely don't. I think the next stage of detachment from material things may be to think about who the tea-set came from rather than its looks!

[Swami Mommy]

It's only when one stops looking for completion through things, experiences, or relationships with other people, that the possibility for recognizing one's own inherent wholeness arises.  I'm so happy for you that your experiment in saying no to grasping has proven so fruitful for you!

[beatitude]

I have to decided to push on with this for another year. It's definitely helping me to be more grateful, and it's also encouraging me to trust more in Providence. Recently I spoke at a conference, and to thank me the organiser presented me with a beautiful huge warm shawl. I'd been wanting a winter scarf, but had decided to manage without one, as it's not really an essential. I was so touched when I opened the present, and amused that the organiser's surprise gift should be the one thing I'd been wanting!

[CountrySteve21]

That's amazing, our Lord is such a generous God. He is never outdone in kindness!  

Your thread has inspired me to add more poverty to my life.