Order of Widows - why none in the Latin Rite Church?

[oremus1]

There is a significant international desire among widows for an Order of Widows as a form of consecrated life similar to the Order of Virgins and similar to the CCEO 570 of the Eastern Church 

Why was the Order of Virgins revised at Vat II but the Order of Widows was not? Which Pontifical / century last had consecrations of widows?

I know 10 Italian diocese have some sort of provision for consecrated widows under c.605 as a new form of consecrated life of diocesan right as like a secular institute type thing. but that is not what I am talking about.  

there are also many women who have received some sort of blessing in the widowed state. but they are not consecrated. there is a difference.

why so slow?

[Gabriela]

I don't know the answer to your question, but I can speculate. Before I do, I'll say that there is a historian of religious life on PM, and she will hopefully see this thread and come to our aid!

My speculation: Widows today are not usually as socially or financially vulnerable as they once were. And religious orders are more open to women who aren't entering as 15-year-old virgins. So widows have more options today for what to do in their post-marriage years. Maybe that's why there hasn't been a great push for an Order of Widows. You say "there is a significant international desire" for such a thing, but I've never seen any. Where have you seen that?

I'll add that, for some years now, I have felt there is a strong need for a renaissance of beguinages. The circumstances we're living in today are similar to those under which beguinages first formed. There are a great many women who either can't find a good Catholic man to marry or don't want to marry. There are a great many women who try religious life and find it just doesn't work for them. Consecrated virginity appeals to a very specific spirituality/relationship with Christ, and it's not for everyone. Women who feel called to live their lives entirely for the Lord and in service to His Church, but who don't feel called to the type of life one finds in religious orders, don't have any other option but to live "the single life"—which I keep hearing all over "isn't really a vocation". (Let's not get into a debate about whether that's true!)

Beguinages, as a structured form of organization that places Christ at the center of the community and provides spiritual and social support, but still leaves women largely independent to pursue their particular callings in the world, would seem to be the best alternative for those not called to marriage/religious life/CV. But we don't have them anymore. And I think we should.

[Sponsa-Christi]

My own quick two cents on why we don't have a revival of the Order of Widows...

First, the instituted widows described in the New Testament don't really seem to correspond to our current concept of "consecrated life." In general, we think of consecrated life as a way to offer oneself to God in a special, radical, and self-sacrificial way. The early consecrated virgins, in their free renunciation of earthly marriage, were a fairly clear prototype of this.

However, the early Order of Widows seemed to be more about the Church's charity to women in need. Women joined the Order of Widows not so much because they wished to make a special offering of their lives to God, but more because they truly needed the Church's assistance. In St. Paul's first letter to Timothy, Paul writes that women shouldn't be enrolled in the Order of Widows if they already have family who can take care of them (see 1 Tim. 5:3-8). St. Paul also discourages younger widows from dedicating their widowhood, saying that he would prefer that they try to remarry. (And "don't try to dedicate your life to God, it will be too hard for you!" is not sentiment which is generally found in the Church's writings on consecrated life!)

Also, reviving the ancient Order of Virgins and the permanent diaconate was relatively "simple" in that we already had liturgical rituals for these two vocations. For restoring the Order of Virgins, all the Church needed to do was promulgate a slightly revised version of the ancient Rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity. In contrast, it doesn't seem that the Church has ever had any specific rituals for consecrating a widow. So if we were going to have "consecrated widows," the Church would basically need to create an entirely new kind of liturgical ritual out of whole cloth. 

[truthfinder]

Well, I don't know if Gabriela was talking about me or not, but part of what I do is the history of religious life.  

Now, widows only factor into my work when they became nuns.  There were certainly orders who wanted virgins only, and this did change with the acceptance of 'single' women - sometimes widows would get lumped in with the 'penitents', sometimes not.  

I will say that I believe there are some small movements afoot.  A former diocese of mine has a group of privately vowed women who form some sort of loose community, and iirc most are widows.  Reading through the New Advent entry on widows, there was a Pre-/Tridentine understanding that widowhood (and thus perpetual continence) was the better state than remarriage.  It also mentions that the female 'deaconesses' of the Early church were also understood to be widows.  

[Nunsuch]

I think a lot of what Gabriella said, above, is correct--that the "order of widows" was seen as a way of protecting older, impoverished women.  There was a sense that women needed to be under the "protection" of a man (father, then husband)--and these women were neither. [This, incidentally, is why the VERY early Church Fathers actually *condemned" female celibacy, as it was a way for women to be autonomous, which was seen as socially very dangerous.]  

Other than that, I don't know much more that would be helpful--sorry! [And I may be the historian she was referring to--but the more the merrier!] Certainly, a lot of widows have founded religious communities, or joined ones already established.  

[Sponsa-Christi]

[This, incidentally, is why the VERY early Church Fathers actually *condemned" female celibacy, as it was a way for women to be autonomous, which was seen as socially very dangerous.]   

I'm not trying to debate you, I'm just wondering, which Church Fathers were you thinking of? I know St. Ignatius of Antioch warmly greets the "ever-virgins called widows" (i.e., early consecrated virgins) in one of his letters, and St. Justin Martyr makes a positive reference to the fact that the early Church has both male and female celibates. You can't get much earlier than those two.

There are a few passages of Tertullian's writings where he doesn't seem very happy about very young women vowing celibacy---but then again, Tertullian did have a lot of "issues." Also, interestingly enough, Tertullian's writings are the first time we see female celibates referred to as brides of Christ.

[MarysLittleFlower]

I don't know the answer to your question, but I can speculate. Before I do, I'll say that there is a historian of religious life on PM, and she will hopefully see this thread and come to our aid!

My speculation: Widows today are not usually as socially or financially vulnerable as they once were. And religious orders are more open to women who aren't entering as 15-year-old virgins. So widows have more options today for what to do in their post-marriage years. Maybe that's why there hasn't been a great push for an Order of Widows. You say "there is a significant international desire" for such a thing, but I've never seen any. Where have you seen that?

I'll add that, for some years now, I have felt there is a strong need for a renaissance of beguinages. The circumstances we're living in today are similar to those under which beguinages first formed. There are a great many women who either can't find a good Catholic man to marry or don't want to marry. There are a great many women who try religious life and find it just doesn't work for them. Consecrated virginity appeals to a very specific spirituality/relationship with Christ, and it's not for everyone. Women who feel called to live their lives entirely for the Lord and in service to His Church, but who don't feel called to the type of life one finds in religious orders, don't have any other option but to live "the single life"—which I keep hearing all over "isn't really a vocation". (Let's not get into a debate about whether that's true!)

Beguinages, as a structured form of organization that places Christ at the center of the community and provides spiritual and social support, but still leaves women largely independent to pursue their particular callings in the world, would seem to be the best alternative for those not called to marriage/religious life/CV. But we don't have them anymore. And I think we should.

are secular institutes something similar?

[AgnesHolyInnocents]

I'm widowed with a private vow, raising children. I would very much like to see it revived. I don't think that I am alone. 

[MarysLittleFlower]

One thing I can think of is how many widows became Third Order Dominicans back in the day and then they began accepting young women who were never married like St Catherine or St Rose. I think they had an option to make a vow of chastity as well. Its not an Order of Widows though and isn't exclusively for widows.

[AgnesHolyInnocents]

Perhaps I will not word this properly and perhaps others will have some ideas if I am wrong about how I feel. I was widowed in my 40's and I have a private vow. I have my own financial support, and live a life or poverty, so it is not about support from the church. It is about God, and giving myself to Him, and to His church. I would very much like mine to be a consecrated vow, recognized by the church. Being younger (if 40's can be called young) as a widow is an awkward situation. I have children or I would discern if God were calling me to join a community. Perhaps God will call me to that later when my children are grown, I do not know at this time what His future will is. Also I am older with many allergies, health issues, so I wonder if health would have prevented me from joining an order. I am a single, but not single. It is true that being a widow makes you a "third wheel." I sort of don't fit in being a single mother, without a husband. I think other widows would be able to understand this well. I know other single women at church but they are young and have not been married or are older, have had an annulment,and are hoping to find a spouse. I don't seem to fit in anywhere. I would very much like to be recognized (not out of pride) as consecrated to the service of the church, as a woman who is not seeking a husband, but has given herself for life to Our Lord. I do not think being a mother prevents me from doing this. Yes, I have children but doing acts of charitable works and praying would not conflict with being a mother. It would mean opening my heart to mothering more. Of course a vocation like this would have to be lived out in a way in which my own children are first. I have joined a third order and follow a daily rule of life. I have been able to follow it well. Being a mother keeps me busy but does not prevent me from living my rule. As always, motherhood would come first if it were ever a question, and this is understood when one makes their profession. I do try to be a good listener and see what others may need in my parish. This could be an elderly woman who says she is very lonely and would love someone to visit, or a young girl who needs a way to get to Mass because she doesn't have a car, helping someone get to a dr. appt., or just being a good listener to someone who needs to unburden their heart.  It also can be in the form of prayer and intercession. I would like to think we are all called to such charity, but I do see that this is not always so. Others say they have no time, they have husbands and children, careers. I do not know why I have the time as a single parent to give, but God seems to give me the grace to give where others seem to not be able to give. I hope I am giving a good example also to my children and believe they have benefited from it. Having an order for consecrated widows would help those women who don't quite fit in anywhere to live out a consecrated religious vocation within their own life's framework, with the support and recognition of the church, and I believe we could be a valuable asset to the church in prayers and good works. 

[marigold]

I really struggle with understanding the Roman Catholic need to categorise everything... Not a criticism, just an honest moment of me sitting here trying to fit my brain around the way you guys think.

[AgnesHolyInnocents]

I am not one who is able to have a theological debate about it or bring great wisdom to the table, as God has not given me a brain for such things. I have to rely on church teaching. If I were to share my heart with you as my sister in Christ so you could see what is inside it, I would say to sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament some day and meditate on the infinite love and mercy of God for us. Immerse yourself in His Heart. Imagine going upwards to Him, dispersing yourself in the immensity and all the facets of who God is, and then after spending some time like that, meditate on Him coming down to you, living within you, and of how He calls you personally to live for Him and what a grace that is. God is so wonderful, so infinite, so immense. His Heart... we could meditate on that all our lives and never exhaust it or even scratch the surface of His love for us. We could never absorb or comprehend all His mysteries. I think looking at all the "categories" is a bit like that. He calls each of us in a personal way to love and follow Him. They are all good and all a grace from God. God has given us the church and she recognizes God's infinite love and mercy to call us to follow Him in our different ways, and she gives us her blessing and so many helps. She gives us God Himself. What a blessing is our Holy Mother Church. I do not think we even realize the extent of that statement. I would even venture to say how can we not have so many "categories" when her head is Christ? 

 

[Nunsuch]

For more on what many of the church fathers had to say on this subject, see Jo Ann McNamara, "A New Song: Celibate Women in the First Three Christian Centuries."  It is out of print, but pretty easily available.

http://www.amazon.com/New-Song-Celibate-Christian-Centuries/dp/0866562494/

 

[Gabriela]

Well, I am glad others chimed in, because y'all gave much better answers than I did!

@Nunsuch, I was referring to you as our RL historian, but @truthfinder, I am glad to discover we have two!  

@AgnesHolyInnocents: It's wonderful to hear a widow's perspective on this. Thank you for sharing. And by the way, welcome to Phatmass! You sound like a saint, so I at least am very glad to have you here! 

[Kathleen777]

In 2012 I finished a years worth of research into consecrated widowhood upon the suggestion of my friends who run the IRL (Institute on Religious Life). While oremus1 is correct in stating that their are Bishops in Italy and in many other European countries that have had formation, ceremonies and gatherings of widows whom they consecrated since after WW II, but mainly in the last 15 years; the formal act is still not been approved into Canon Law in the Roman Catholic/Latin Rite Canons. It is approved in the Eastern Rite. My dear friend Dr. Ronda Chervin, PhD. has promoted this action for many years however the movement has not been strong enough coming from widows who want it to make the Church begin the course of actions needed to implement the change in canon law. 

I was widowed in 1993 and discerned religious life in 1996 first starting as a Secular Franciscan and then joining a religious community of sisters in 2000. By 2012 I finished my research stated above after leaving religious life and discerned that I wanted to continue to be a religious sister in a community and with the approval of my spiritual director and the Diocese began a new Franciscan religious community called The Family of Jacopa Association. Yes we have Sisters but we also have "Dedicated" members who are lay women, either widows or singles who are part of our community (like a third order) who live in their own homes. We now have a beautiful monastery and members who have been joining. We have Diocesan approval for our chapel, the repose of the Blessed Sacrament and for Holy Mass to be offered. Within the next month our constitutions should be finished and presented to our Bishop for our approval as a Public Association of the Faithful and for our investiture into the holy habit. The Priests that I have spoken with around the country are very happy that this way of life is returning to pray for and help the Church. We accept women that are single/widowed who are over 40 years old (with exceptions for those under 40). We have a simple website to view however it is better to contact me to ask questions and for me to send information to you. Telephone (740) 314-4023  website: http://www.familyjacopa.com/  Pax et Bonum! --Sr. Kathleen Marshall