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[marigold]

Marigold,

This is what I would suggest to you....sit down, get a cup of tea, breath deeply......and then make a plan and a timeline.  I mean actually draw one out on paper. Where are you today?  What is your final goal?  What steps do you need to take to get there?  It's not glamorous, but it helps put things in perspective, forces you to come up with concrete action steps to reach your goal.  Don't freak out when you look at the big picture, rather determine what you need to do to get there in increments.  In other words, if you are at point A, what are points B,C,D, etc. to get to point Z. What are the steps you need to complete each point and move on.  For example, if point A is to pay the rent,,then what do you need to do to accomplish that goal to get to point B.  Speak proactively with your employer regarding expectations?  Look for another position while still working? Work double shifts if available? What do you need to do?  How can others help? You get my drift.

It's helpful to put it down on paper and review it at least twice a week.  Pray over it and ask God's blessings on your plan.  Looking at things in small steps is less anxiety producing than looking at the entirety of the situation.

This is what I would suggest to a directee ( and have in the past)

God bless.

Pray to St. Joseph for stable, well-paying employment multiple times a day. Wear a band on your wrist or something uncomfortable to remind you to say a little prayer to him every time you feel or notice it.

Then, start applying for every job you can imagine yourself doing. Just apply. And apply. And apply. Set aside an hour or two a day as a "temporary part-time job" itself to just look for jobs and send out resumes.

What do you do well? Can you make rosaries? Knit? Sew? Bake? Start making stuff in all the free time you have and put it up for sale on Etsy or wherever else you can find a place to sell it. Your parish? A local community market? The creative outlet will do you good, and hopefully you will make some cash!

Babysit for people you know or people at your parish. Offer to clean houses. Whatever you can find, just do it so that you feel more secure!

As for discerning: Believe it or not, now may be a good time to go discern with houses. You've got a lot of free time, right? On the other hand, to get a new job, you need to be constantly near your phone/email, and that's not possible on a live-in. So decide how you're going to do this: Maybe ask the houses you've been talking to if there's any way they can help pay for a visit (if abbesses are contacting YOU, they're probably interested enough to help if they can), and if they can, go now while you have the time "off work". That way, when you get back, you can apply and work like crazy to get yourself established again.

I'd also suggest that, every morning, as soon as you wake up, go do some exercise. It will help jumpstart your body and your emotional wellbeing so you have the energy to get through the day. Do it even before you pray. Or pray while you exercise. But you have to do it first thing in the morning or otherwise the "slump" of the depressing day will prevent you from doing it at all, and then you'll just keep spiraling down this rabbit hole. You need the exercise to pull yourself out.

And you need our prayers—which you've got! 

Great advice here, and I'm going to try and incorporate some of both of your suggestions!

[marigold]

No help from your parents, or do you not want to accept this?

Have you decided on another monastery--or not yet?  If you had decided and wished to enter, they may well help you with that amount of debt.

Any prospect of help from your local church or diocese? 

Well, my mum has already loaned me as much as she can, and she's got other big expenses this year. My dad is a starving artist and doesn't really have 2 pennies to rub together

I've narrowed it down to a couple of communities to stay at more long-term. At this point, I don't think it's right to ask them for help (because it would be like asking them to pay off my debts and get me a plane ticket just so I could come and stay and then waltz off somewhere else potentially). I don't think I can ask for help from the diocese either... the debt isn't due to any shenanigans of mine, because I was made redundant with no fault, but it's also a case of the people who would like to help don't have any money, and the people with the money might not necessarily see that my debt was something to help out with. I don't know. Call me a baptised heathen, but I'd rather wait until I was shoeless and homeless before knocking on the priest's door

 

[juchu]

Seems like you have already gotten a lot of good advice, so I rather give you my prayers

Your situation reminds me of some of the volonteers who stayed with us for a longer time - most were not looking for a community, but being in between a new start in a new job/university/apprenticeship...  - sometimes not having to pay rent, food, etc. and being in a "good place" in between is already helpful to at least have a stable place from where to continue and to search...

But this does not solve the problem of the debt. Staying with a community for "food and work" doesn't take away your debt, nor give you money for health insurance.

but insn't there something you could work for where you could make a lot of money in a short time? During my studies I once worked at a fair, horrible work but quick money in short time. And it was well paid, even those who worked as car-park-attendents earned a lot...

[beatitude]

Marigold, I don't know where you're living now, but in my experience there is always demand for care and support workers in hospitals, special schools, and disabled people's own homes. There is high turnover for these jobs because they don't pay a princely wage and unfortunately a lot of people go into them as a way of getting somewhere 'better'. Kindhearted and patient people are worth their weight in gold in this field and from what you've written of yourself I think you'd be great. If you're still in the UK, look for vacancies with Mencap, Sense, Cambian Group, the NHS, the Richmond Fellowship, the Priory - anything like that. Even though the salaries aren't huge, you could pay back £1000 in about four months with a full-time care job, I think.

[Yaatee]

Everyone's ideas are great.  Here's another one: crowdsourcing or crowdfunding.

I, being an old lady, don't know exactly how to do this, but I think that for a smart young woman like you, with a real story,  it shouldn't be hard.

Create a website. Include a few appealing photos of yourself in it. Tell your story.  Make sure it's clear that you're Orthodox, not necessarily saying which kind (Russian? Greek? Ukrainian?).   Say that you have wanted to become a nun since you were small (This is true, right?  Say when the idea came to you.)  Say that you have entered, and knew that the life was for you, but that there were internal interpersonal difficulties in the monastery which  didn't involve you. (Use delicate language here.)  In the end, you left, knowing that you still wanted to become a nun.  Explain your current situation, that you were made redundant--Brits will understand this.  Set up a PayPal account.  Install a PayPal button at the end of your appeal, which you shouldn't make too long.  The whole thing should be about one scroll-down. Put all sorts of "tags" on it, so people can find you (I think that's how this works.)  Watch the money flow in.  You will observe that you'll also get donations from your Phatmass Phriends!

Also, depending on how you feel about it, say that you will pray for your benefactors now and after you enter.   People apparently want "value".  

Anyway, here are some specifics.

http://www.crowdzip.co.uk/

Also google using "how to set up crowd funding" as a search phrase and you'll get a lot of good links.   This could all be done very fast.

 

Edited July 2, 2015 by Yaatee

[marigold]

Marigold, I don't know where you're living now, but in my experience there is always demand for care and support workers in hospitals, special schools, and disabled people's own homes. There is high turnover for these jobs because they don't pay a princely wage and unfortunately a lot of people go into them as a way of getting somewhere 'better'. Kindhearted and patient people are worth their weight in gold in this field and from what you've written of yourself I think you'd be great. If you're still in the UK, look for vacancies with Mencap, Sense, Cambian Group, the NHS, the Richmond Fellowship, the Priory - anything like that. Even though the salaries aren't huge, you could pay back £1000 in about four months with a full-time care job, I think.

This is the kind of work I was looking for last autumn, and got quite a lot of interest. I think I might start looking at that again. Thanks!

Everyone's ideas are great.  Here's another one: crowdsourcing or crowdfunding.

I, being an old lady, don't know exactly how to do this, but I think that for a smart young woman like you, with a real story,  it shouldn't be hard.

Create a website. Include a few appealing photos of yourself in it. Tell your story.  Make sure it's clear that you're Orthodox, not necessarily saying which kind (Russian? Greek? Ukrainian?).   Say that you have wanted to become a nun since you were small (This is true, right?  Say when the idea came to you.)  Say that you have entered, and knew that the life was for you, but that there were internal interpersonal difficulties in the monastery which  didn't involve you. (Use delicate language here.)  In the end, you left, knowing that you still wanted to become a nun.  Explain your current situation, that you were made redundant--Brits will understand this.  Set up a PayPal account.  Install a PayPal button at the end of your appeal, which you shouldn't make too long.  The whole thing should be about one scroll-down. Put all sorts of "tags" on it, so people can find you (I think that's how this works.)  Watch the money flow in.  You will observe that you'll also get donations from your Phatmass Phriends!

Also, depending on how you feel about it, say that you will pray for your benefactors now and after you enter.   People apparently want "value".  

Anyway, here are some specifics.

http://www.crowdzip.co.uk/

Also google using "how to set up crowd funding" as a search phrase and you'll get a lot of good links.   This could all be done very fast.

 

I'm not sure I would be comfortable doing that. It would be too much like advertising myself... weird, especially for something that is not about how great I am but how much in need of a life of repentance! 

[Yaatee]

I think that people would regard you as someone worthy of support for them and for their intentions.  You want to enter religious life, have been there already and know what it is like, realize that you have a lot to learn, and don't we all, and don't we all need repentance.   Discerners do this a lot in the US, "advertise" their needs, and find a lot of online friends willing to help out.

Anyway, just a thought.

[marigold]

Please say some extra-strong prayers in about an hour's time, for a possible job opportunity!

 

[:o)Katherine:o)]

Prayers Marigold! 

[marigold]

Prayers Marigold! 

Thank you, Katherine!

Please say some extra-strong prayers in about an hour's time, for a possible job opportunity!

 

Well I was extremely nervous but I went to the interview. It's a lot more prestigious than my previous jobs, so I felt kind of bad for possibly leading them to think I wanted a long-term permanent position, but they're also still at the stage of seeing a lot of people so it's not really on me. I think I made a good impression; the interviewer and I had quite a fun chat and he seemed to like me as a person... This may be silly but once I feel I've clicked with a person and done all I could on my end, the outcome of a situation doesn't really matter. Whenever I've bombed on an interview (like the one I went to in May for a job I, unsurprisingly, didn't get *shudder*) it's always been because there was some kind of barrier between the interviewer and me.

If I do get this, it'll be my third job this year, which is exhausting even to think about. I know God is too kind to play mean tricks on us, but he does seem to let us go through the wringer a bit when we want something big from him.

Thanks for the prayers, everyone, especially Credo and AnneLine

Edited July 8, 2015 by marigold
I couldn't decide if it was 'interviewer and I' or 'interviewer and me'.

[puellapaschalis]

In the 3rd line? "Interviewer and I"; you're (both) forming the subject of the clause and the 1st pers sg pronoun should be in the subject form accordingly.

Ahem.

[Gabriela]

A good way to test which it is: Take out the other person and leave only yourself. In your example:

"the interviewer and I had quite a fun chat and he seemed to like me as a person"

So, it's "I", not "me".

EDIT: I'm so happy to see that we care about proper English around here! 

Edited July 8, 2015 by Gabriela

[marigold]

In the 3rd line? "Interviewer and I"; you're (both) forming the subject of the clause and the 1st pers sg pronoun should be in the subject form accordingly.

Ahem.

A good way to test which it is: Take out the other person and leave only yourself. In your example:

"the interviewer and I had quite a fun chat and he seemed to like me as a person"

So, it's "I", not "me".

EDIT: I'm so happy to see that we care about proper English around here! 

I actually meant at the end of the first paragraph ("there was some kind of barrier between the interviewer and me"). I learnt that rule too, Gabriela, and decided on 'me' based on that. But I couldn't tell which sounded righter.

[puellapaschalis]

'...and me.'

A preposition phrase ('between....') is not going to take subject pronouns, and because English is delightfully simple (in some respects), this only leaves the object pronoun. 

I am such a nerd. 

[marigold]

'...and me.'

A preposition phrase ('between....') is not going to take subject pronouns, and because English is delightfully simple (in some respects), this only leaves the object pronoun. 

I am such a nerd. 

And that is why I like you.