Interesting and frightening article on transgender children

[NadaTeTurbe]

Pay attention to stories about children who are transgender. Without fail, they are filled to the brim with gender stereotypes. Kids are being diagnosed for playing with the “wrong” toys and liking the “wrong” things. In many of the stories, it is clear that either the parents, or the community, has put great importance in dividing things and interests into “for boys” and “for girls”. Children have a limited understanding of what it means to be a boy or a girl. For example, it’s not uncommon for children to think that the length of someone’s hair is what makes them a boy or a girl. If a child who likes dolls or long hair is told “those things are for girls”, their response might very well be “okay, then I want to be a girl”.

In this story, the mother of a boy tells us how “Instead of toy soldiers and trains, he asks for princesses and dolls for Christmas and birthdays”.

The mother of the child in this story talks about how her child said “I boy” as a toddler, and “rejected anything frilly or stereotypically girly”. The child themselves says the following:

Evan Singleton has now been living five years as a boy but remembers the pain of pretending.

“All the girls were doing Barbie dolls and nail polish, and I just wasn’t one of them,” he said. “All the boys were doing skateboards and helmets, and I wanted to do that stuff. I never felt right in that body.”

Why this kid thinks that you need a certain type of body to be interested in skateboards is not elaborated on.

The father of this male child who likes to wear dresses, calls the child “gender-fluid”. The father is quoted:

‘In truth, the realization that one of my children identifies with a gender that is opposite the sex she was born with was, and remains, absolutely unremarkable,’

While the father means well, the implications of this statement are not as progressive as it would seem. Liking “sparkly shoes and dresses” like this child did is somehow “opposite” from being a boy?

This male child expressed desire to “marry a prince”, and dressed up “as a girl” at home. The parents told the child  “[y]ou can go home and live as Danielle, or you can go home and live as Daniel”. Going home and living as Daniel AND wearing dresses was apparently not an option.

The parents of this male child tell this story:

At 5 months, she took a pink blanket meant for her sister Lily. Later, she showed little interest in toy cars and boy clothes with pictures of sports, monsters and dinosaurs on them. She refused to leave the house if she had to wear boy clothes. After her parents accepted her identity, they said, Coy come out of her shell.

A five month old baby reaches for a pink blanket. An infant, who does not even grasp that objects exist even when they are out if sight, is capable of understanding that they are the “wrong” sex, capable of understanding that pink is a color more often worn by girls, and reaches for a blanket to somehow communicate all of this. And when the parents lets the child wear the same thing that the other children in the family wear, the child seems happier. Very mysterious.

Another article about the same child tells a story about a boy whose parents had strict rules for clothes and hair styles:

At three and a half, Coy turned sullen. He’d spend days on the couch, wrapped in the fuzzy pink security blanket he’d commandeered from his sister. He didn’t want to play, or talk. He especially didn’t want to go outside; any enthusiasm Coy might show for a trip to the playground would disappear as soon as he’d catch sight of the boys’ clothes he was expected to swap for the dresses he wore at home. The only thing Coy hated more was the prospect of getting a haircut; the last time his parents had suggested it, Coy had taken to his bed for days, listless and tearful.

And:

Little by little, Kathryn began letting Coy leave home dressed in a pink shirt – anything to pry him from the house with minimal fuss – and soon enough, with pink sneakers to match. Jeremy drew the line at letting Coy wear colorful hair clips outdoors. “I was trying to avoid a negative experience,” recalls Jeremy, who is even-tempered and stocky with rimless glasses. “Someone going, ‘Why are you dressing your son up as a girl?'”

“Letting” Coy wear a pink shirt – as if the color of a shirt is so important that you literally have to be a girl to be allowed it. And note the father’s statement. God forbid someone thinking he’s letting his son dress up as a girl! A girl dressing up as a girl however, is much more  acceptable.

This story tells us that “the number of primary school children referred to the NHS with transgender feelings has quadrupled in five years”. What happens to these kids? According to the guidelines of World Professional Association for Transgender Health(WPATH), found here, in most children with “gender dysphoria”, the feelings will disappear before they become adults.

Gender dysphoria during childhood does not inevitably continue into adulthood.V Rather, in follow-up studies of prepubertal children (mainly boys) who were referred to clinics for assessment of gender dysphoria, the dysphoria persisted into adulthood for only 6–23% of children (Cohen-Kettenis, 2001; Zucker & Bradley, 1995). Boys in these studies were more likely to identify as gay in adulthood than as transgender (Green, 1987; Money & Russo, 1979; Zucker & Bradley, 1995; Zuger, 1984). Newer studies, also including girls, showed a 12–27% persistence rate of gender dysphoria into adulthood (Drummond, Bradley, Peterson-Badali, & Zucker, 2008; Wallien & Cohen-Kettenis, 2008).

What treatments are these kids typically offered? Many of them are being given “puberty blockers”, drugs that prevent the body from going through puberty, putting maturation on hold. This is supposed to give them time to think, and decide whether they want to live as the sex they were born, or go on to take the hormones of the opposite sex. But how are these kids, many of whom have an extremely simplified and immature understanding of sex and gender, supposed to take this choice when their brains are being prevented from maturing? Lupron, the main drug being used for this purpose, can lead to permanent loss of bone density. It also has depression as a common side effect.

Doctors are now performing sex change operations on minor children:

Dr. Christine McGinn estimated that she had done more than 30 operations on children under 18, about half of them vaginoplasties for biological boys becoming girls, and the other half double mastectomies for girls becoming boys.

In the same article, Dr. Norman Spack of Boston Children’s Hospital, says that he was “salivating” at the prospect of giving puberty suppressing medications to pre-pubescent children:

Dr. Spack recalled being at a meeting in Europe about 15 years ago, when he learned that the Dutch were using puberty blockers in transgender early adolescents.

“I was salivating,” he recalled. “I said we had to do this.”

Children, who cannot legally get tattoos even with parental consent, are being sterilized, for a condition that seems to rely heavily on sexist stereotypes, by doctors who salivate at the thought of giving this treatment.

find at : http://transgenderreality.com/2015/06/23/pink-blankets-and-salivating-doctors/ 

[Credo in Deum]

Interesting article.  I also wonder if there is a correlation between easy access to the Internet, and all the crazy things within it, and the increase in the number of people who now identify themselves as being homosexual, transgender, and pansexual?  I ask because I wonder if in the same way when we get a flu symptom we go to webmd and self diagnose our condition as being something which it is not, is this also happening with children, tweens, and teens when wanting to know about their desires and attractions only to soon become sucked down the rabbit hole of the World Wide Web and then coming out more lost and confused than when they started.  The indulgence in curiosity and its consequences. 

 

Edited July 1, 2015 by Credo in Deum

[marigold]

Interesting article.  I also wonder if there is a correlation between easy access to the Internet, and all the crazy things within it, and the increase in the number of people who now identify themselves as being homosexual, transgender, and pansexual?  I ask because I wonder if in the same way when we get a flu symptom we go to webmd and self diagnose our condition as being something which it is not, is this also happening with children, tweens, and teens when wanting to know about their desires and attractions only to soon become sucked down the rabbit hole of the World Wide Web and then coming out more lost and confused than when they started.  The indulgence in curiosity and its consequences. 

 

Definitely - and I think both 'sides' (if we want to create sides... which I don't... never mind) talk about that, either as a positive 'access to resources' or negatively, as you said, 'indulgence in curiosity'.

[Archaeology cat]

I have noticed that trend in the articles. I find it interesting, as there's been a greater push for gender-free parenting - the idea that there's no such thing as girls' toys and boys' toys, girls' colours and boys' colours. I agree with that, actually. But at the same time there's been this even greater stereotyping going on, so a boy who likes pink and plays with dolls is considered to be either gay or trans by the parents in the articles (I can't say that this is universal, for I wouldn't know, and I don't trust the media to objectively report on this; after all, I know how much the media gets wrong about my own parenting choices). But I do find it disturbing that some do attribute certain things to being solely in the realm of girls or boys. All of my kids (2 boys and 1 girl) play with dolls, ponies, swords, trains, dragons. My youngest likes to wear a tiara like his sister, only he usually puts it on backwards to be like the elf king. All the kids like pink, and blue. I think it's insulting to both boys and girls to say there's one particular expression that is right, and that a different expression means they aren't really that gender. That is what comes across in articles like these. Again, though, I'm not going to say that's a universal thing in the trans community, because I just don't know. 

[Ice_nine]

The implications of this stereotyping are a bit worrisome to me. So if I (remember I am a woman even though people think I"m a man on the internet ALL THE TIME) don't like dressing up, wearing and shopping for jewelry and makeup, decorating my house, taking care of babies, am into sports, and don't use dainty language am I any less of an actual woman or gay? Conversely is a sensitive man who doesn't like sports, is good with kids, is kind (all "feminine" things) does that make him gay or less of a man?

It's almost like there's a checklist of what being a man or a woman entails and if you tick off too many boxes on one side and not enough on the other, sorry, you're not the gender you were born with. It's crazy nowadays to say "you have a male body, therefore you are male," but in addition to being a male you are also a unique individual who doesn't fit every culturally defined criteria for maleness, and that's ok. 

How we view ourselves, especially when we're young and developing, is a complicated mix of looking at ourselves, oursevles, and looking at ourselves through the lenses of others.

What a cluster.

[Archaeology cat]

The implications of this stereotyping are a bit worrisome to me. So if I (remember I am a woman even though people think I"m a man on the internet ALL THE TIME) don't like dressing up, wearing and shopping for jewelry and makeup, decorating my house, taking care of babies, am into sports, and don't use dainty language am I any less of an actual woman or gay? Conversely is a sensitive man who doesn't like sports, is good with kids, is kind (all "feminine" things) does that make him gay or less of a man?

It's almost like there's a checklist of what being a man or a woman entails and if you tick off too many boxes on one side and not enough on the other, sorry, you're not the gender you were born with. It's crazy nowadays to say "you have a male body, therefore you are male," but in addition to being a male you are also a unique individual who doesn't fit every culturally defined criteria for maleness, and that's ok. 

How we view ourselves, especially when we're young and developing, is a complicated mix of looking at ourselves, oursevles, and looking at ourselves through the lenses of others.

What a cluster.

I agree completely, Ice. In college, I disliked hanging out with the girls, I hate chick flicks, dressing up is ok on occasion, but generally I prefer comfort. I mean, I was a field archaeologist, one of only two women in the field at that particular job. A fellow college student told me I was "unladylike" for my language and the fact that I smoked cigars. But I was never any less of a woman. My daughter is my opposite in some ways, in that she would wear skirts and dresses every single day if possible. She'll consent to wear shorts for playing soccer (which she loves - she's actually my only kid who plays sports), but it's rare if she wears shorts or trousers otherwise. She is more stereotypically girly, but both of us are authentically feminine. 

 

[Not The Philosopher]

Yeah, I agree with what peeps are saying here. I'm really glad I grew up before people started getting really gender crazy about their kids.

[Papist]

All that said, I still would not allow my son to dress in his mom's clothes. 

[franciscanheart]

I have noticed that trend in the articles. I find it interesting, as there's been a greater push for gender-free parenting - the idea that there's no such thing as girls' toys and boys' toys, girls' colours and boys' colours. I agree with that, actually. But at the same time there's been this even greater stereotyping going on, so a boy who likes pink and plays with dolls is considered to be either gay or trans by the parents in the articles (I can't say that this is universal, for I wouldn't know, and I don't trust the media to objectively report on this; after all, I know how much the media gets wrong about my own parenting choices). But I do find it disturbing that some do attribute certain things to being solely in the realm of girls or boys. All of my kids (2 boys and 1 girl) play with dolls, ponies, swords, trains, dragons. My youngest likes to wear a tiara like his sister, only he usually puts it on backwards to be like the elf king. All the kids like pink, and blue. I think it's insulting to both boys and girls to say there's one particular expression that is right, and that a different expression means they aren't really that gender. That is what comes across in articles like these. Again, though, I'm not going to say that's a universal thing in the trans community, because I just don't know. 

It's not. And I don't think it's fair to look to the media to tell us the truth about any community; they never do.

Are there parents who take this "he likes pink and dressing in clothes therefore he is transgender" thing wayyyy too far? Yep. But are there just as many (if not more) who think it's absolutely ludicrous that their little girl might like cars and swords? YEP.

Don't make the exception the norm -- in any community. You aren't doing anyone any favors by doing that.

 

I have a friend whose niece identifies herself as male even though her biology is female. She's done this since she was ITTY BITTY. They corrected her for a while, pointing out the differences in boys and girls, but she still insists she's a dude. And you know what? At a certain point, they were risking doing more damage trying to convince her of something that made them more comfortable than by just letting her be. It really doesn't come up very often. She knows she has to wear swim shirts in public. At home, she wears no top -- for now. She has a "boy" haircut because she likes it. She plays with dolls and cars and trains like any other kid her age. She likes Nickelodeon. Bomb Pops are her favorite. And she's precious. The end.

Did the internet make us more gay? HA. Doubtful.

Maybe I'm less likely to believe some of this stuff because I grew up in a household that should have produced a "normal" heterosexual girl who loved dolls and ruffles and ended up gay, but I just don't buy it.

 

Do some young kids find interest in things they have no business even thinking about yet? YEP. Is the internet going to turn them gay? Probs not. Will they be more adventurous with their sexuality and sexual experiences? Maybe. But I can guarantee that if they don't like gay sex, they probably won't keep having it.

 

Just trying to keep it real.

[Nihil Obstat]

 

It's not. And I don't think it's fair to look to the media to tell us the truth about any community; they never do.

Are there parents who take this "he likes pink and dressing in clothes therefore he is transgender" thing wayyyy too far? Yep. But are there just as many (if not more) who think it's absolutely ludicrous that their little girl might like cars and swords? YEP.

Don't make the exception the norm -- in any community. You aren't doing anyone any favors by doing that.

 

I have a friend whose niece identifies herself as male even though her biology is female. She's done this since she was ITTY BITTY. They corrected her for a while, pointing out the differences in boys and girls, but she still insists she's a dude. And you know what? At a certain point, they were risking doing more damage trying to convince her of something that made them more comfortable than by just letting her be. It really doesn't come up very often. She knows she has to wear swim shirts in public. At home, she wears no top -- for now. She has a "boy" haircut because she likes it. She plays with dolls and cars and trains like any other kid her age. She likes Nickelodeon. Bomb Pops are her favorite. And she's precious. The end.

Did the internet make us more gay? HA. Doubtful.

Maybe I'm less likely to believe some of this stuff because I grew up in a household that should have produced a "normal" heterosexual girl who loved dolls and ruffles and ended up gay, but I just don't buy it.

 

Do some young kids find interest in things they have no business even thinking about yet? YEP. Is the internet going to turn them gay? Probs not. Will they be more adventurous with their sexuality and sexual experiences? Maybe. But I can guarantee that if they don't like gay sex, they probably won't keep having it.

 

Just trying to keep it real.

I notice that you refer to this girl as her. Is that a conscious choice?

[Seven77]

Interesting article.  I also wonder if there is a correlation between easy access to the Internet, and all the crazy things within it, and the increase in the number of people who now identify themselves as being homosexual, transgender, and pansexual?  I ask because I wonder if in the same way when we get a flu symptom we go to webmd and self diagnose our condition as being something which it is not, is this also happening with children, tweens, and teens when wanting to know about their desires and attractions only to soon become sucked down the rabbit hole of the World Wide Web and then coming out more lost and confused than when they started.  The indulgence in curiosity and its consequences. 

 

Definitely something to think about. The information found online can influence and shape popular opinion, especially in people that no longer understand objective truth. 

[MarysLittleFlower]

I certainly think that parents are over reacting when they say their kid is transgendered if they like another colour or toy. I think really this is a symptom of the modern idea that gender has no physical correlation and is something fluid... Which I don't think is Catholic. However I also think it wouldn't really solve the issue to have only "genderless toys" because its still true that many boys are drawn to playing with cars etc. Its like giving a message girls and boys are identical. However if a girl played with boy toy a I wouldn't make assumptions on her sense of her gender. Kids go through all kinds of interests. It happens to various kids to explore topics that aren't masculine or aren't feminine. Doesn't mean they are "transgender". That being said I don't think its wrong to think that certain things are masculine or feminine in traits and that girls would be drawn to feminine usually and boys to masculine. (Or to support it, though without jumping to all kinds of theories). Its just that if they don't, it doesn't mean something like what they think it means. Its kids exploring stuff. also kids often want to be things they aren't - like superheroes, having make belief friends, etc. I tried to pretend I'm a different girl to deal with stuff. For me it was coping and sign of some hurt. In other cases its a kid suddenly got some interest. But it doesn't mean they are that person inside. 

[veritasluxmea]

Did the internet make us more gay? HA. Doubtful.

I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the role of the internet in promoting extremist views. Yes, the internet will not make you gay. That's ridiculous. But the internet can, and does, influence people and very quickly. It gives people ideas at a young age that they wouldn't come up with on their own, including ideas about sexuality, gender, and so on. That's just common sense. How much does it influence someone? I don't know, it depends. Maybe as much as 50%, maybe as little as 10%. 

Used to be you didn't encounter that kind of stuff until you went off to college, remember the stereotype of people going off to college and coming home atheist or whatever? nowadays the internet is basically a giant liberal porn-filled college. Free tuition to everyone with a phone. 

[Archaeology cat]

It's not. And I don't think it's fair to look to the media to tell us the truth about any community; they never do.

Are there parents who take this "he likes pink and dressing in clothes therefore he is transgender" thing wayyyy too far? Yep. But are there just as many (if not more) who think it's absolutely ludicrous that their little girl might like cars and swords? YEP.

Don't make the exception the norm -- in any community. You aren't doing anyone any favors by doing that.

 

I have a friend whose niece identifies herself as male even though her biology is female. She's done this since she was ITTY BITTY. They corrected her for a while, pointing out the differences in boys and girls, but she still insists she's a dude. And you know what? At a certain point, they were risking doing more damage trying to convince her of something that made them more comfortable than by just letting her be. It really doesn't come up very often. She knows she has to wear swim shirts in public. At home, she wears no top -- for now. She has a "boy" haircut because she likes it. She plays with dolls and cars and trains like any other kid her age. She likes Nickelodeon. Bomb Pops are her favorite. And she's precious. The end.

Did the internet make us more gay? HA. Doubtful.

Maybe I'm less likely to believe some of this stuff because I grew up in a household that should have produced a "normal" heterosexual girl who loved dolls and ruffles and ended up gay, but I just don't buy it.

 

Do some young kids find interest in things they have no business even thinking about yet? YEP. Is the internet going to turn them gay? Probs not. Will they be more adventurous with their sexuality and sexual experiences? Maybe. But I can guarantee that if they don't like gay sex, they probably won't keep having it.

 

Just trying to keep it real.

I figured it wasn't the norm for such parents. Like I said, I know how the media like to latch on to the most extreme examples and misrepresent things. I'm a fairly AP parent, and a few years ago Time Magazine ran an article that very much made AP parents seem really extreme. Are some extreme? I'm sure. But the vast majority of us aren't. So I figured the same would be true of any group. I also figure if I'm constantly finding inaccuracies in articles where I know the subject well, then I should just assume there are also inaccuracies in the other articles. 

[CrossCuT]

I have noticed that trend in the articles. I find it interesting, as there's been a greater push for gender-free parenting - the idea that there's no such thing as girls' toys and boys' toys, girls' colours and boys' colours. I agree with that, actually. But at the same time there's been this even greater stereotyping going on, so a boy who likes pink and plays with dolls is considered to be either gay or trans by the parents in the articles (I can't say that this is universal, for I wouldn't know, and I don't trust the media to objectively report on this; after all, I know how much the media gets wrong about my own parenting choices). But I do find it disturbing that some do attribute certain things to being solely in the realm of girls or boys. All of my kids (2 boys and 1 girl) play with dolls, ponies, swords, trains, dragons. My youngest likes to wear a tiara like his sister, only he usually puts it on backwards to be like the elf king. All the kids like pink, and blue. I think it's insulting to both boys and girls to say there's one particular expression that is right, and that a different expression means they aren't really that gender. That is what comes across in articles like these. Again, though, I'm not going to say that's a universal thing in the trans community, because I just don't know. 

I agree! Its so interesting watching tv shows portray the stereotype that if their son likes a barbie doll, all of a sudden the parents are stricken with fear that their son is gay.

I am very much Pro Gender Nonconforming parenting. It seems like the least stressful for the child because the parents arent making them feel pressured to choose certain toys, clothing, styles, attitudes that coincide with how society views their gender. That also goes with how we treat young girls and boys. Frequently girls are nurtured so much more because they are perceived as fragile where as if a boy is upset, he is told to buck up because he can handle it. There was this great youtube video I saw a while back that covered the story of a 5 year old boy who loved wearing girls clothes. His parents allowed him to because it is what he liked! The boy would explain to his classmates that this is his style and they were ok with it.