MarysLittleFlower Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I feel like my fears about my family are coming true. I just had a conversation with my mom over the phone... And it seems like our relationship is basically almost destroyed because of my plan not to marry. My mom said this is the cause of her unhappiness and got very upset / panicky. I asked her wouldn't she be happy if I'm happy? And she said no because she doesn't believe I would be happy but only fake happy and then miserable in 10 years. Also she started feeling bad, like dizzy and I'm afraid of something happening to her and I live 6 hours away and she's home alone mostly due to my dads work. She doesn't want to talk to me anymore. My worst fears are coming true and I can't describe the pain I'm in now. Please please pray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 I'm also afraid I'm pushing her away from the faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulHeart Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I'll keep you in my prayers, MLF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catholic_Lizzie Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I'm so sorry! I'll be praying for you. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sponsa-Christi Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 This may or may not help, but most parents do come around eventually. My parents were apprehensive when I first started discerning, but by the time of my consecration they were a hundred percent supportive. And in the years since my consecration, they've gotten much more active in their faith (My dad started praying the Divine Office and teaching CCD, and my mom runs a mothers' prayer group at out parish.) One thing that might help is if they could meet a young, happy priest or religious in a relaxed and informal setting. That was sort of a turning point for my parents. I know it's hard now, but things will get better! Prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) My mom is not Catholic and said before she would never want to meet a nun she never got a chance to learn about them brfore growing up. The pain of all this is causing me guilt of hurting a parent that much and doubts about my discernment. I prayed and God is making me feel a strong peace in some part of me but on the surface there is a lot of pain. This was my greatest fear in life.. Ive been causing her pain about this for years because I never told her outright that I'm discerning, but gave indications of being uninterested in marriage and there were other hints that were unintentional (how I dress etc). She doesn't know its religious life per se but more - not marrying. She does not believe I could ever be happy and the thing is even seeing me happy doesn't seem to be enough now because she thinks its a fake happiness that would go away in older age. She sees my life as pointless from this and said this is her main suffering in life. She doesn't wish to talk to me anymore.. Edited June 29, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 This is just a guess but this sounds like control issues with your mom trying to get you to do what she wants. prayers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 maybe you should stop talking to her just for now. In these situations, what good will it do for you two to continue to make each other miserable? sometimes time away from each other can heal wounds and soften anxieties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 I was just in church and what can I say Jesus is so faithful... He healed my heart and gave me such deep peace. I have to trust Him without sight or knowledge of what would happen.. Thank you for the response and prayers. I think this is my mom's response because she cares so much for me but disagrees with what I'm doing. I can't do anything to change her, only He can... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He is Risen! Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 When a person follows God's will, the grace from it trickles down. My mom was kind of like this when I entered the sisters, I'd agree with Vee here. If you are following God, it might be rocky and painful, but good will ultimately come out of it in the end. Tough to go through though, prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antigonos Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 This is just a guess but this sounds like control issues with your mom trying to get you to do what she wants. prayers I sense this too...I am the survivor of just such a struggle. Hang in there; cutting the "silver umbilical cord" is something you will have to do at some point, religious vocation or not. It's part of growing up. If you have an SD, talk to him/her. It might also help to get some professional counseling with a psychologist. You ARE an independent human being. Yes, one must honor one's parents; but one also has a responsibility to oneself. You, after all, are going to be here many, many years after your parents are no longer an issue. Can I ask how old you are? Are you in school, or work? Do you live with your parents? Are you financially dependent on them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Prayers for you. It is really hard when someone you love does not support your vocation.Though you are exactly right, you cannot change her only He can. Ask Mary's intercession too. I always ask Mary for help with my mom because Mary knows a mother's heart and also knows what it is like to have a child who follows a difficult path. It might also be wise to give your mom some space right now. It sounds like she is going through a bit of a mourning process for her hopes and expectations for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NadaTeTurbe Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Pray for your mother, but it could be good to be less in contact with ther, for both of you. You can try to writer her a letter. You will have the time to be clear. Tell her what is religious life, why you want this, how hard it is to enter, that you are totally free, and you know what you're doing. Tell her you love her and want both of you to be happy. I will keep you in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) I sense this too...I am the survivor of just such a struggle. Hang in there; cutting the "silver umbilical cord" is something you will have to do at some point, religious vocation or not. It's part of growing up. If you have an SD, talk to him/her. It might also help to get some professional counseling with a psychologist. You ARE an independent human being. Yes, one must honor one's parents; but one also has a responsibility to oneself. You, after all, are going to be here many, many years after your parents are no longer an issue. Can I ask how old you are? Are you in school, or work? Do you live with your parents? Are you financially dependent on them? I will for sure speak with my SD... I'm 29, and I work and live separately. I pay my own rent etc now but there were times my parents helped with food and other things this year because I don't always make enough. Like I can't afford a phone. They helped with rent but at the beginning. But I'm hoping to be more financially independent now to not be a burden on them. I'm not sure if that means I'm dependent financially because I still pay for my life necessities myself now (rent, water, food and general stuff I need to buy). Edited June 29, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 I will for sure speak with my SD... I'm 29, and I work and live separately. I pay my own rent etc now but there were times my parents helped with food and other things this year because I don't always make enough. Like I can't afford a phone. They helped with rent but at the beginning. But I'm hoping to be more financially independent now to not be a burden on them. I'm not sure if that means I'm dependent financially because I still pay for my life necessities myself now (rent, water, food and general stuff I need to buy). Just to add... I understand their help is totally voluntary on their part. They are not obligated. I only started working a while ago so I'm still trying to become financially independent completely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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